Such is life

A small tribute to Gulzar saab

2012-01-15T00:53:00.000+08:00

Kaafi choti thi main, jab ‘choti si kahani’ suna tha

Tape recprder hote they us zamane mein

Aur ‘rewind’ button bahut istamal hota tha

1988 ka saal tha, aur Aamir Khan ne meri zindagi mein kadam rakha

Lekin tab bhi…aur ab bhi… ‘papa kehte hain’ se zyada achcha

‘mera kuch samaan’ lagta tha

Filmein jo thi meri padaish ke pehlein ki

Lekin choo jaati mukhe kuch aise

Jaise, mujhse salah karke kahani sajayi ho

1973 ki ‘Aandhi, 1982 mein ‘Angoor’

Ek ne aise rula diya, dooji kabhi sakte nahin bhool

Bambai mein ghar khojne ki takleef

Sirf ‘Do deewane shahar mein’ aur Gulzarji hi shabdon mein utar sakte

‘Tum he ho na ho, mujhko to, itna yakeen hai’ jaise bol

Jo ek dil ki kashmakash ko bayaan karte hain

Unke siwa aur kaun likh sakta hai?

Umar thi dus, jab ‘tujhse naaraz nahin zindagi’

Aur us bachche ki masoom aakhon ne mujhe chua tha

‘Dil toh bachcha hai ji’..27 saal kyon na guzarein ho?

Kis ne socha tha ki ‘chaddi aur phool’,

aur ‘beedi’ aur ‘jigar’ ek hi vakaya mein rehkar

Itne achche lag saktein hain?

Tab samundar ki leheron ka shor hota tha

Aur kuch kuch traffic ki awaaz

Mere kamre mein jhoole pe behetkar

Sunti thi main Gulzar saab ke saaz

Tere bina zindagi se shikwa toh zaroor hoti

Kyonki meri zindagi Gulzarji ke bina kuch kum hoti

I AM A MOTHER

2011-12-11T19:39:00.001+08:00

I live to give, I breathe to love

I rule with a smile, I cast fear by silence

I care with the heart, I teach with the mind

I AM A MOTHER

My instincts are razor sharp, my intentions as pure as the rivers

My speeches are long, my voice louder than thunder

My hugs are tight, my kisses much too frequent

I AM A MOTHER

I find short cuts, while still walking the extra mile

I play, I get played

I am a sounding board, I am the voice of reason

I AM A MOTHER

I question, I probe, I demand, I insist

I relent, I agree, I accede, I succumb

I fight, I persevere, I succeed and yes...I fail

I AM A MOTHER

I laugh aloud, I cry quietly, alone

I give wholeheartedly, I seldom take

I feed the body, I nourish the soul

I AM A MOTHER

I desire to be noticed, I enjoy the gratitude

I love spontaneous hugs and big grins

I do have a life beyond you, but you are still at the centre of it all

I AM A MOTHER

I grow old and take on new roles

You grow older and vigorously seek new ones

I see you thrive, I watch you flourish

Even if it’s not in front of my eyes

I AM A MOTHER

Yes I grow old, but I never age.

I AM ALWAYS A MOTHER

Mera Shehar

2011-11-13T23:20:00.002+08:00

A poem written in Aug 1998...13 years ago about my beloved city Bombay

Woh elco ki pani puri, woh chowpatty ki chaat,
Woh Naturals ki ice cream, Wah usme thi kuch baat.

Woh tewari ki mithai, woh raste ka dosa,
Woh shivsagar ki pav bhaji aur Guru Kripa ka samosa.

Woh local train ka ‘suffer’, woh juhu beach ki hawa,
Woh chowpatty ke tange aur Joggers Park ka sama.

Woh December ki zara si sardi, woh baarishon ke mahine,
Woh garmi ki chuttiyan, jab chute te they paseene.

Woh holi ki masti, woh navratri ka garba,
Woh divali ke patakhe aur ganpati ka shor o sharaba.

Woh peak hours ki traffic, woh BEST ki rush,
Woh tadapti garmi mien, Snowmans ka ek kala khatta slush.

Woh Juhu beach ka mohol, woh samunder ki leheren,
Woh doobte suraj ka nazara, Wah uske kya kehene.

Woh Sterling ka pop corn aur Cotton World mein shopping,
Woh Fashion Street ka nazara aur Nariman Point ki buildings.

Woh cinema ke queue, woh black ki tickets,
Woh Shivaji Park ka maidan, jahan bachche practice karte hain cricket.

Itni cheezen kehene ke baad, aur kitni karoon mein badaee,
Yeh shehar hain mera apna, jiska naam hai MUMBAI !!!!!!!!

Facing our fears

2011-11-05T15:06:00.000+08:00

What is your biggest fear? Fear of losing your life? Fear of losing someone you love? Fear of losing your job? Fear of losing your beauty? Fear of losing your wealth? Fear of losing your youth? Fear of losing out to your competitor? Fear of losing face?

Human being's biggest fear is the fear of losing.

Yes there are things we fear too- snakes (my biggest one), darkness, closed spaces, etc.

And then there are people who instill fear in us. When we think of them, we feel a cold chill. People we don't have the courage to stand up against.

But if you probe deeper, you will realise that its still fear of losing. Losing our dignity, losing our honor, losing our confidence, losing our self worth. And these are bigger losses than jobs, money and fortune.

The only way to deal with these fears is to face them squarely. Looking at them straight in the eye. And not flinching even if voices (or hands) are raised.

Because bullies should simply not be feared. As they are biggest cowards themselves.

What we need to lose is the fear. And the tears.

What can't be won by love, can be conquered by courage. Courage to face our own demons- the ones that live inside us. And the ones who walk the earth.

As I add another year to my life today, I pray for courage to overcome my fears.

I would have been less off...

2011-10-15T16:20:00.001+08:00

...had I not had Jagjit Singh in my life. I can’t remember when and where I started listening to his ghazals. But it would be when I was just about to enter my teens. And it started as always when it comes to me, with Hindi movies. I heard Raj Kiran sing “Tum itna jo muskara rahe ho” to Shabana. It’s Shabana’s tears I remember most from the scene and a hauntingly beautiful voice signing the most amazing lyrics.

Girls dream of prince charmings, knight in shining armours (or shining Ferrari) and the tall dark handsome men. My dream harboured a man who could sing soulful melodies like these to me. And it was start of a never ending love affair.

When most girls looked forward to that Chayageet episode where the latest Sanjay Dutt or Anil Kapoor song would be shown, I was the happiest when I could watch Raj Babbar sing ‘Hotton se choo lo tum’ to Anita Raj- the two actors I never liked, but could watch that song umpteen times.

I went on to discover his non-filmy ghazals. The unforgettable ‘kagaz ki kashti’, which I spent hours listening to each and every line so I could note it down in my book. This was the age before you could simply google lyrics. And I had to write it down as I wanted to memorize every line of the song. My favourite line still remains “Na duniya ka ghum tha, na rishton ke bandhan, badi khoobsurat thi woh zindagani”.

My favourite Jagjit-Chitra ghazal is ‘Us mod se shuru karein hum phir yeh zindagi’. The lyrics capture the tensions of a long term relationship that has lost its love. Note the words- ‘Ashkon ki chandni se thi, bhethar woh dhoop hi...us mod se shuru karein, hum phir yeh zindagi...har shay jahan haseen thi, hum tume they ajnabee’.

Saath-Saath figures in my blog as one of the Top 10 Love stories. It’s a poignantly beautiful story and Jagjit’s ghazals play a big part in that. Everyone would remember ‘Tum ko dekha toh yeh khayal aaya’- undoubtedly one his best work ever, but my favourite ghazal from that film was ‘Pyaar mujhse... jo kiya tumne.. toh kya paaogi’. Farookh Sheikh sings this ghazal in a college function where he trying to get Deepti Naval to forget him as she will have hard life if she stays with him.

Amitabh had sung a song in a similar vein to Rakhi in yet another college function- ‘Mein pal do pal ka shayar hoon’ (not a Jagjit ghazal). So after Kabhi Kabhi and Saath Saath, I longed for a poet in my life. In fact many years later when I read Vikram Seth’s ‘A Suitable Boy’ I cried when the lead character Lata did not marry Amit the poet. I was so upset with her and I had to remind myself that she was a fictional character, as, sadly, was he.

Jagjit Singh’s ghazals set the tone and pace of my life. I hate loud and fast music. I don’t enjoy instrumental music- its feels incomplete without the words. The soulful nature of my musical preferences as my romantic views in life, are all colored by the magic of his songs. The old-world charm, the misty-eyed look, the unrequited love, the whisper of sweet nothings and every other cliché in the book, all of these made a big mark on my impressionable young mind. And its years of practice since then, which I find very difficult to break now J

Jagjit Singh also opened the world of ghazals for me. In marketing terms, he built the category. I went on to enjoy Talat Aziz, Pankaj Udhaas- though why most his songs always had alcohol references, I never understood then. But as I grew older the meanings became clearer.

Jagjitji has so many beautiful ghazals but the one I can watch over and over again is “Hosh waalon ko khabar kya” from Sarfarosh. The love of my life Aamir with Jagjitji’s voice- wah! And the innocence of Aamir and Sonali is so well captured- something you don’t get to see much these days.

Few other works worth mentioning here are:

Badi nazook hai yeh manzil...from Jogger’s Park (side bar- I had a crush on Victor Banerjee from Kalyug days. And I thought he was adorable in this movie too)

Jaag ke kaati sari raina... a semi-classical rendition from the film Leela- a pretentious movie, but it had Dimple Kapadia and she is a treat to watch no matter how bad the film is

Kis ka chera ab mein dekhoon with the dashing Milind Soman

And Sham se aankh mein nami si hain... a ghazal with a music video- a popular trend in the 90s to make non-filmTop 10 Love Stories songs more commercial. Jimmy Shergil looks so sweet and Simone Singh so young. The words are by Gulzar- “Waqt rehta nahin kahin tik kar... is ki aadat bhi aadmi si hai”. Sigh... Gulzar saab is the only man above 50 who I would marry in a heartbeat if he ever asks me. Yes the poet hangover still reigns supreme.

Today I went back to my old CDs which were forgotten with the advent of iPod. And I found some old Jagjit Singh ones. Discovered a gem of an album called ‘Koi Baat Chale’ with the amazing combination of Jagjit and Gulzar.

Good bye Jagjitji. Rest in peace. Meet your son in heaven and even there spread the joy with your lovely voice.

What about me? I will be listening to your songs till the day I meet you in heaven...provided I reach there. If not, I will have rely on my iPod in hell, but you will never leave my side :)

When was the last time you…

2011-10-01T12:03:00.001+08:00

· Got drenched in the rain and did not mind it at all

· Sang your favourite song aloud without bring drunk

· Did something outrageous which makes you blush even thinking about it

· Went sailing

· Swan in the ocean

· Spoke on the phone with your best for over an hour

· Felt so loved by your child that it brought tears to your eyes

· Read a book that you simply could not put down

· Prayed for someone else besides your own family

· Relived your childhood by spending an afternoon with your brother or sister

· Had a long lost song stuck in your head and had to download it and listen to it at least 5 times and it sounded better each time

· Got a phone call from a loved one that made you whoop up in joy at their good news

· Saw a handsome stranger and you did a double take

· And he saw you do that…and gave you the once over

· Took a bubble bath

· Slept on the train and missed your station

· Thought of something funny and laughed aloud on the street…when you were alone…

· Cut class to watch a movie…better still…skipped a meeting to do the same

· Sat on your window watching the rain fall

· Took a nice long afternoon nap

· Went for a walk with your partner and held hands all through the way

· Watched a film that made your eyes misty

· Took an unplanned spontaneous holiday

· Stopped and lend a stranger a helping hand or a friendly smile

I know life is good as I have done almost all of the things on the list above at least once in the last two months. If you haven’t, start today. It will make your heart smile. That’s a guarantee.

Born in the wrong era

2011-08-07T10:54:00.005+08:00

Few weeks ago I took my parents to watch to “Black and White”- a show which screened songs from black and white Hindi movies i.e. ‘The Golden Era’ while some young talented singers sang them live on stage. There was a great MC who provided fun facts and trivia about cinema and music from that time.

It was an awesome experience! The songs ranged from Ashok Kumar’s time to Shammi Kapoor’s. Kishore Kumar’s ‘Mein hoon jhoom jhoom jhoom jhoom jhuoomru’, Hemant Kumar’s ‘Hai apna dil to awara’, ‘Hum aapki aankhon mein’ by Rafi...it was a treat for senses. Not only you could hear melodious voices of these young aspiring singers but you could see the black and white visuals on the screen. It was one of the loveliest evenings I had spent in a long time.

And for once in life, I was the youngest person there!

The average age would have been at least 50 if not more. But I have never felt more at home. I knew pretty much every lyric of every song that was sung plus the names of the stars, the singers, etc. It felt like I completely and truly belonged there.

I got my love for old movie songs from my parents. Doordarshan- the whole and sole of Indian TV at the time when I was growing up- bought us Chayageet and Chitrahar. This commenced my education in black and white songs. I used to watch with my parents and dad would recite anecdotes related to the films or some interesting trivia, and I lapped it all up. Strangely, I have not watched many old films- I should rectify that soon. But old songs are a big part of who I am.

Kishore Kumar is GOD. There is no denying that. My dad tells me when I was 3 years old my 2 favorite songs were from Chalti Ka Naam Gaadi- ‘Paanch rupiya bara aana’ and ‘Ek ladki bheegi bhaagi si’. I used sing them all the time and I loved watching them whenever I got the opportunity mainly because seeing Madhubala was always a pleasure! She is the most beautiful woman ever- sorry Ash...I know officially the title belongs to you, but no one can compare to Madhubala.

But as I grew older, I discovered the magic of Hemant Kumar. ‘Tum pukar lo’ from Khamoshi- Waheeda never looked better, ‘Yeh nayan dare dare’ from Kohraa (picturized on Biswajit who lived in my building, and kinda ruined this song for me), ‘Yaad kiya dil ne kahan ho tum’ with Lata, ‘Na tum hamen jaano’ composed by the legendary S D Burman.

From all the old black and white actors, my all time favourite has been Dev Anand. The lopsided smile always did it for me! The song I like the most of all is from Hum Duno- Abhi Na Jao Chhod Kar Ke Dil Abhi Bhara Nahin by the great Mohd Rafi and Asha Bhosle (one the THE most versatile and passionate singers that Indian cinema has given us).

I can never choose been the 2 sisters- Lata’s voice is the kind that comes once in a lifetime. There will be no one like her. One of my favorite black and white Lata songs is ‘Lag ja gale’ from ‘Woh kaun thi’- a fabulous mystery thriller picturised on the stunning Sadhna.

Dev Anand had some of the best romantic numbers ever. Whether it was the naughty ‘Chod do aanchal, zamana kya kahega’ or the lovely ‘Dil ka bhanwar kare pukar’, which from this fabulous movie called ‘Tere ghar ke samane’ where Dev Anand plays an architect. (And for those of you who follow this blog, will know it’s the sexiest profession of all in my eyes). In fact all the songs from this movie between Dev Anand and Nutan were classics. ‘Ek ghar banoonga tere ghar ke samne, duniya basaonga tere ghar ke samne’ and ‘Tu kahan yeh bata’. Sigh! Those were the days and those were the men.

After watching that show, I was on a trip of old songs for a week at least. And it got me thinking- I am born in the wrong era!

I love black and white songs more than colored ones.

I would much rather listen to Lata than to Shreya

Classic novels trump modern day books hands down

Jane Austen rules, like of Marian Keyes and Sophie Kinesella will merely be one-time beach reads

History was my favourite subject in school. I still know more Indian freedom struggle and World War 2 than I know about the world economy

In fact I am convinced I was a freedom fighter in my last birth and gave up my life for my country. Yeah ok, it may sound rather corny and twisted to most of you, but it’s the only explanation for my fiercely patriotic nature. I can so imagine myself in a white cotton sari in a mukti adolan sabha. But I think I would be the more Subhash Chandra Bose Azad Hind Fauj soldier rather than Gandhiji’s satyagraha champion.

I love old historic forts and could spend hours walking around. I still appreciate a patola silk sari more than a sheer ‘evening cocktail’ chiffon one.

OK, I must admit the modern day conveniences are the only thing going for this era. On every other count the black and white period rules!

If only I could spend a day in that era...and have Hemant Kumar sing ‘Beqarar karke hamen yun na jayiyen’, I would be in heaven! (I think it is one of THE most sensuous songs of that times). And then I could sing back ‘Tera mera pyaar amar’. Actually on second thoughts, I might drop the singing back thing from my little fantasy...as yesterday someone requested me rather politely to ‘never ever sing, as you really can’t’. Sigh! There ends another fantasy...though it does explain a lot of things, like the weird stares I get on the bus when I am singing to my radio. Apologies to anyone who has been offended by tone deaf singing...but then again, if I hear ‘Leke pehla pehla pyaar, bharke aakhon mein khumar, jaado nagri se aaya hai koi jadugar’...I just have to sing it out aloud ;)

THE MUMBAI OF MY DREAMS

2011-07-16T23:54:00.001+08:00

Written on 21April 1999

This happened in Jan 1991. I had gone shopping with my friends to Warden Road. After the regular doze of looking around Benzer, Eternia, etc. and having a sundae at Snowmans, we decided to call it day and head home.

I was 17 years old then and my curfew time was 10.00 pm. It was already 9.30 p.m. and I knew there was no way that I would be home on time. My friends decided to wait for an ‘empty’ bus. I always thought that the words ‘empty’ and ‘BEST buses’ couldn’t be used in the same breath. They are a contradiction of terms!

So, I hurriedly got in the first 80 Ltd. that came by. Luckily I got a place and that too a window seat! “Not bad”, I thought and quickly sat down and started gazing out at the hustle bustle of Mumbai streets (It was Bombay then).

I noticed a middle-aged lady get in the bus. She came and sat next to me. I politely smiled and received a very big smile in return. We got talking and she asked me where was I going. I mentioned that I was on my way home. She expressed her surprise that I was travelling all alone at 9.30 in the night, all the way from town to suburbs. “We live in Delhi” she said, “and I don’t let my daughter go out alone after 8.00 p.m.”

I smiled and with the utmost pride, answered, “Yes aunty, but that is Delhi and THIS IS BOMBAY. Here a girl can travel alone till really late, and there is absolutely no problem. Bombay is one of the most safest places in the whole of India.”

Today, 7 years later, I cannot help but be amazed by that incident! Bombay? Safe place? Cannot imagine saying that now!

I live in Singapore now and last week I met some new people. They were Indians but were born and bought up in Singapore. When they heard that I was from Mumbai, I was bombarded with questions on “Bollywood”. I can never decipher the obsession that Indian’s abroad have about Bollywood. It’s as if Mumbai is only Bollywood!

We spoke about Mumbai in general, the life there, the pace of living etc. Suddenly, one of the girls said, “Yeah but Mumbai is so unsafe! You know there is so much extortion and crime! It’s so sick!”

I tried to maintain my cool but all I wanted to do was to drown her in jug of beer that was kept next to her. How dare she! Nobody says anything bad about my Mumbai! I put up a face and tried to get through the rest of the evening.

We left the bar at 2.00 a.m. and I caught a cab home. While travelling, I thought, “Can I travel alone like this in Mumbai today?” I knew the answer was no, but I hated admitting that, even to myself!

So how do I defend ‘amchi Mumbai’ to other people? Rather, how can I defend, when everything they are saying is true?

The thought made me really sad and I began thinking about Mumbai I once lived in. The Mumbai of my dreams!

The Mumbai before the bomb blasts, the Mumbai before the communal riots, the Mumbai before the underworld rule……

The Mumbai, where thousands starry-eyed people came everyday, to make a future for themselves. Mumbai embraced them and gave them the opportunity that they were looking for.

The Mumbai, where every individual lived by himself and for himself, yet if you were to turn around and ask a helping hand, you would receive a smile and not a look of distrust.

The Mumbai, where communal riots were only found in newspaper stories about Bihar and UP.

The Mumbai, which gave, hope, which offered opportunities, the Mumbai, which fulfilled dreams.

Will this Mumbai of my dreams be a reality again?

Silver Beach- Juhu. Still one of my favorite places on earth

A movie a year (volume 2)

2011-06-26T16:51:00.060+08:00

Let’s continue with the second decade- late 80s beginning 90s. Big changes took place in this era. Amitabh’s reign as super star was coming to an end. Star sons were the talk of the town- Kumar Gaurav, Sanjay Dutt, Sunny Deol, Anil Kapoor. Not sure what the star daughters were doing though? This period was also the onset of the Khan rule- Aamir, Salman, Shahrukh- all of them made their stunning debuts. And they continue their reign till this day almost 20 years since.

Another big trend was that the age of action films was slowly coming to an end, and the 90’s was all about romance- QSQT, Maine Pyaar kiya, Aashiqui, Lamhe...(My romantic expectations in life can easily be blamed to this phase of Indian cinema).

1985: Rahul Rawail gave us Sunny Deol as Arjun. One of my first movies related to underworld and crime. And it set the stage for my interest in this genre (many of Ramu’s initial movies like Satya and Company will make their way to this esteem list of mine). A great film with many twists and turns- or at least I thought so then. The ‘black umbrella’ scene where one of the Arjun’s friend is murdered on a rainy Bombay afternoon at a railway station, made me gasp. This movie was the start of Sunny’s tryst with ‘man against the system’ type of films like Ghayal, Damini, Ghatak. Until it all got very stale.

Another movie I absolutely love was a movie made for television- if I am not wrong it never released in cinemas- a Mahesh Bhatt self-proclaimed autobiography called Janam. One of Kumar Gaurav’s best performances ever! The poor guy never got his due. A story of an illegitimate son of a famous movie director and his mistress depicts the child’s struggles and subsequent success in the most heart touching manner. Another Mahesh Bhatt original- when he made original movies that is.

My 2 picks from 1985 are Arjun and Janam. Though few other movies deserve a mention too. One of them is Saagar- it was the comeback of ‘Bobby’ and the hit Rishi-Dimple pair. Dimple is one of my favourite heroines still and Saagar was when she looked her stunning best. A Sippy production with remarkable performances by the lead pair, but the show stealer for me was Kamal Hasan! He played the childhood friend who loves Dimple since they were kids and even gave up his life for her. So romantic! All songs of this movie were great with the popular ones being ‘O Maria’ and ‘Sagar jaise akhon wali’, but my favourite one is ‘Sach mere yaar hai, bus wohi pyaar hai, jiske badle mein koi toh pyaar de’ (the words always ring true).

1985 was also the year Raj Kapoor gave us Indian first semi-soft porn flick in ‘Ram teri ganga maili’. And Mandakini immortalized herself in the translucent white wet sari (My parents never let me watch that film)

Another movie worth mentioning here is Vidhu Vinod Chopra’s Khamosh. A thrilling murder mystery and you don’t very good ones of those from Indian cinema.

1986: Mahesh Bhatt bought us another lovely movie about 2 brothers- Naam. Another good performance by Kumar Gaurav. But this year simply belongs to Karma. A Subhash Ghai movie with stalwarts like Dilip Kumar, Naseer, Nutan alongside the then newcomers Anil Kapoor, Jackie, Sridevi. ‘Har karam apna karenge ae watan tere liye, dil diya hain jaan bhi denge, ae watan tere liye’- one of my favourite patriotic numbers. This was also the start of the ‘modern Hindi film’ villain with Anupam Kher as Doctor Dang, soon followed by Amrish Puri as Mogambo.

1987: 2-way split between 2 very different movies- Shekhar Kapur’s Mr. India and Kaash- which I only found out now thru IMBD was directed by Mahesh Bhatt- makes me feel even sad on what he has come to now. Sigh.

Mr. India gave us India’s first 'science' thriller, Mogambo khush hua, hawa hawai and a film which starred Anil Kapoor but you did not have to see him. Perfect! Sorry, but am not an Anil fan. Never have been. It was one the few well-made kid-friendly movies that even grown-ups enjoyed. And Sridevi’s dance in ‘Kate nahin kat te yeh din yeh raat’ is one of the most sensuos numbers

Trivia- the film had originally been written for Amitabh Bachchan with his voice in mind. He rejected the "invisible" role.

Kaash was a story about a divorced couple- Jackie who was a struggling actor and Dimple- who have a child suffering from a critical illness. I always felt Dimple looked very good with Jackie as a couple (Gardish, Ram Lakhan were 2 other movies were they starred together) rather than the other contemporaries like Sunny and Anil.

1988: I thought this year would have been very easy. As it was the release of QSQT and the birth of a crush that’s lasted over 2 decades. QSQT was such a filmy-film- all the possible love story clichés found its way to this film. But maybe it was timing of its release- which was dominated by action films, or maybe it was the new comer ‘fresh pair’ of Aamir and Juhi as Raj and Rashmi, or the songs by Udit Narayan and Alka Yagnik (who went on to become the romantic song hit pair)- maybe it was a combination of all of this that lead to QSQT becoming one of the biggest hits in Indian cinema. And will always hold a very special place in my heart. Its the only movie I have watched more than 15 times.

Though QSQT is my favourite movie ever and it ruled 1988, but the year cannot be complete without the mention of a beautiful Gulzar film- Izzazat. Great performances by Naseer, Rekha and Anuradha Patel with a lovely cameo by Sashi Kapoor. Beautiful songs and a very touching story. Must-must-watch.

1988 also gave us Tezaab and ek do teen which shot Madhuri to stardom.

1989: The toughest year so far... as the selection process is extremely difficult.

First on line is Vidhu Vinod Chopra’s Parinda. A stunning film about the underworld which still sends shivers down my spine. Jackie got rid of his ‘wooden actor’ image with this film. The industry got a great performer in Nana Patekar and Madhuri played a de-glamed school teacher to perfection. The star of this movie was Anil- but as I mentioned before- am not a fan.

This year gave us the 2^nd Khan star with Salman in Maine Pyaar Kiya- a Rajshri production. It also bought to limelight the girl next door Baghyashree- who was literally the girl next door as she lived in the house next to my building. A family-entertainer with a sweet love story.

And naturally I have to mention Yash Chopra’s Chandni which also made its way to my Top 10 love stories.

This year Sridevi also entertained us in Chaalbaaz- Hema Malini’s Seeta-Geeta remake- where she showed her superb comic timing as she played Anju and Manju.

1990: After a stellar preceding year, the only movies worth mentioning here are Aashiqui and Dil. Both rather average films, but big hits that year. They propelled the existing trend toward romantic films. The only reason they are special to me is- Aashiqui is the first movie I bunked college and went to watch with a group of friends. And Dil...well... it had Aamir and Mads and I watched it just before I went to get my 10th standard results- which I aced.

1991: goes to Lamhe- a Yash Chopra love story between a younger woman and an older man- only movie I liked Anil in. And Sridevi was simply awesome. Lovely songs, beautiful locales, great supporting performances by Anupam Kher and Wahida Rahman.

Another parallel cinema must-watch is Govind Nihlani’s Drishti starring Shekhar Kapur and Dimple Kapadia as a married couple who are growing apart.

This year bought to an end the original film era of Mahesh Bhatt films with his last original movie- Daddy- where he launched his daughter Pooja.

1992: And Shahrukh Khan arrived! A small role in a Rishi and then popular and since then dead heroine- Divya Bharti called Deewana. Bad film, in descript performance by SRK and hamming by Rishi. But his second movie- Raju ban gaya gentleman with Juhi was sweet.

However this year belonged to Roja. It is the year I discovered the genius of Mani Ratnam. The movie brought to light the Kashmir issue and had fab performance by the so-handsome Arvind Swamy and Madhu.

Jo jeeta wohi sikandar also released this year and received the best film award in Filmfare. It was an hindi cinema version of Archie comics with Aamir as Archie, Ayesha Jhulka as Betty (seriously! If she can act opposite Aamir, so can I!), Pooja Bedi as Veronica and Deepak Tijori as Reggie. I have very fond memories of this movie- but doubt I could sit through it now unlike other Aamir movies which I can re-watch anytime.

1993: is the year marked in history as the only time ever a SRK movie will beat an Aamir movie in this list. The Aamir movie was Hum hain rahi pyaar ke where his hit jodi with Juhi cast its magic again and it had cute kids and good doze of comedy.

But my favourite movie in 1993 is an SRK film by Kundan Shah called ‘Kabhi haan, Kabhi Na’. Shot in idyllic Goa it depicts the life of simple boy Sunil whose sole purpose in life is to marry Anna. Deepak Tijori played Chris as the rich dude who Anna loves. A love triangle that makes you go awwww.

And my other fav movie this year was ‘Sardar’- a Ketan Mehta film on the life of Sardar Vallabhai Patel played flawlessly by Paresh Rawal. A must-watch for anyone interested in understanding the intricacies of what really happened in 1947- just before and right after Independence.

1994: A very good year for Indian cinema as it gave us Hum aapke hain kaun- one of the biggest grosser ever and a National award winner. The great Indian wedding packed in only 4 hours. I still enjoyed the movie though- the songs, Madhuri’s dances, the love story between her and Salman, all were rather heart warming. No Indian wedding since then has been complete without songs from this hit film. It also marks the end of Rajshri production movies on my list.

Andaz apna apna also released this year- undoubtedly one of the best comedy movies EVER! And the only time Aamir and Salman starred together. I can watch this movie even today and laugh as much as than I did then.

Another beautiful movie this year was 1942 A love story a historic fictional love story in the backdrop of the Quit India movement of 1942. Must watch for Jackie as Shubankar, Javed saab’s lyrics for ‘ek ladki ko dekka’, and Manisha’s performance.

Can’t finish this year without mentioning another Govind Nihlani film called Drohkaal- a riveting suspense thriller about a dedicated cop who leads an under-cover squad against a group of terrorists.

This brings us to an end of the 2^nd decade of my life and covers nearly 30 brilliant films. Thinking about it now, I actually marvel how did I do well academically inspite of my addiction to Hindi movies. Well I did not turn out half as bad, and these films are so worth it!

A movie a year (volume 1)

2011-06-11T01:02:00.004+08:00

Never ask me what is my favourite movie or my favourite food. I can’t simply answer. (Favourite book is easy- Pride and Prejudice, and yes I know I am an Austen-cliché, but that’s just the way it is).

But favourite food...that’s tough man! Fried pomfret or sindhi curry. Aloo paratha or chilly crab with fried bun. Thai green curry or gambas de ajillo. Bhel puri or Pizza Margarita. And I have barely begun. I love my food and don’t expect me to choose. I get very stressed when I see a man on death row in the American crime shows. And the poor guy is given the choice to have whatever he wants as his last meal. I feel sorry for the guy- not because he is soon going to be sitting on an electric chair, but because he has such a difficult choice to make at this critical time.

And same goes for favourite movie. I hardly ever agree to the ‘best film’ award on any of the popular shows as it’s very unlikely that the popular choice would be mine. And there are just way too many fabulous Hindi movies. How can anyone just choose one?

So here is what I thought. I will pick my favourite film for each year since I was born. Brilliant na? Except now everyone will know my exact age. Which frankly is not a state secret (as much as I would like it to be one)

So here goes decade one of my existence. 1974 to 1984

1974: Ok. I reached a stumbling block on year one itself. Did not find a single movie which I have seen that year, let alone liked. So I shall cheat here and select from 1973- I was conceived that year, so it’s justified.

And I will cheat one more time and pick 2 films. Which is going to be a pretty much ongoing scenario throughout this post, as in most years I have more than one favourite film.

In no particular order my 2 picks for 1973/1974 are: Abhimaan and Zanjeer. Zanjeer shot Amitabh to overnight fame. Brilliant portrayal as Inspector Vijay (his favourite screen name). Also the movie which catapulted his ‘angry young man’ image. While with Abhimaan he made his mark as an emotive actor. He played the role of an established popular singer who found it difficult to deal with his wife’s success. Abhiman also gave us the successful Amitabh-Jaya jodi and beautiful songs like “Tere mere jeevan ki raina” and “Teri bindiya re”

1975: This is tougher than I thought. How can anyone choose between Deewar and Sholay? They both are just awesome!! I still cry even today when I see Jai die in the end in Sholay. And Basanti is one of the most iconic female characters in the history of Indian cinema.

The scene in Deewar where Amitabh buys the building where is mum worked as brick carrier (is that even a word?) is etched in my memory. And the dialogue “Maaf kijiye Daaga saab, lekin business karna aap no nahin aata. Aap agar is building ki doogni keemat maangte, toh bhi mein de deta”. And “Mein aaj bhi phenke hue paise nahi leta”. Salim-Javed! You gotta love them! What writing! And another reason I am partial to Deewar is that it had my favourite Shashi Kapoor- who I loved more than Amitabh. He had the most winning smile!

And to add to the confusion, there is Aandhi to consider. A Gulzar film supposedly based on Indira Gandhi. Best-ever songs! “Tere Bina Zindagi Se Koi Shikwa”. And Suchitra Sen and Sanjeev Kumar were just stunning.

I can’t resolve this. 1975 goes to Aandhi, Deewar and Sholay.

1976: This year has a clear winner-Kabhie Kabhie. Directed by Yash Chopra with Amitabh, Rakhi (never looked better), Shashi Kapoor (played such a charming and adorable character in the film and fav profession- architect) and Waheeda Rahman. It also starred the next generation stars (and my favourite on and off screen couple- Rishi Kapoor and Neetu Singh. A beauty love triangle and one of the best music compositions ever by Khayyam**- a music director extraordinaire but sadly underrated. Who can ever forget the title track and beautiful shayari by Amitabh?

However I would like to mention another lovely film from this year- Chitchor. I used to be a big Amol Palekar fan and loved almost all the films he starred in- until he started making them and Paheli happened-seriously dude what were you thinking? A Rajshri production back when their movies were heart warming but still socially relevant. Rajshri remade this film in 2003 with Kareena, Hrithik and Abhishek in a shameful ‘Main prem ki deewani hoon’. Again guys, what were you thinking?

1977: Amar, Akhbar, Anthony was released this year, and though it deserves a mention for a lot of reasons- the key one being the magic of Amitabh and Praveen Babi on screen, it is not my favourite film of that year. Oh and it also deserves a mention for Vinod Khanna- the most handsome star at that time. His sons are not remotely as handsome, though I always liked Akshaye Khanna very much. Big crush! But not sure where he is nowadays...since the hair loss.

I vote for Hum kisse se kum nahin. I love Nasir Hussain movies (this was even before I knew he was related to Aamir Khan). An out and out commercial plot with fabulous music by R D Burman- I still prefer Rishi’s version of Bachchna ae hasino to his son’s. Other popular songs from this movie were “Chaand mera dil” and the crown gem “Kya hua tera vada”

1978: This year I will pass up a great Amitabh movie- inspite of the fab chemistry with Rekha which was unmistakable especially in the ‘kotha’ number ‘Salame ishq meri jaan’. Yes am talking about ‘Muquadar ka sinkandar’. My favourite movie for this year is Ankiyon ke jharokon se. Loosely based on Eric Segal’s Love story- one of my much-loved books- the movie was so heart-warming and beautiful. And just makes me wonder again what beautiful films Rajshir Productions used to make. The film got nominations for Best Actress, Best Film, Best Direction categories in 1978 Filmfare Award but missed them all. And which makes me realized that Filmfare awards even then danced to the popular beat while ignoring true talent.

1979: Hriskesh Mukherjee is one of my favourite directors. And Golmaal is one of his best movies. But 1979 was also the year that Kala Pathar was released. And its undoubtedly one of my favourite Amitabh movies of all times. Again a Yash Chopra direction- wish he made such movies again instead of only the romantic ones. And Kala Pathar had Shashi Kapoor too- looking so handsome as the young architect (my most sexiest profession ever! Have I mentioned that before?). The heroines Rakhi, Parveen Babi and Neetu Singh played their parts beautifully too. I love multi-starrers! But you don’t see as many of them now. May be today’s actors are simply too insecure to share screen space with each other. And the other important bit of news from this movie is that it’s THE ONLY movie where Shatrughan Sinha was remotely tolerable.

1980: Qurbaani was the highest grosser this year and great masala movie. But I have never been a big fan of Feroz Khan (though I used to find his son Fardeen super hot but marriage has ruined him completely). My biggest gripe against Feroz Khan- besides the arrogance and the weird westernized accent- was that he always kept himself alive in the end of the film and killed the other hero. In this movie it was the handsome Vinod Khanna (in Janbaaz it was Anil Kapoor, in Yalgaar it was Sanjay Dutt). Arrey just because you are the director does not mean you kill the other guy off even if the script does not demand it?

But still a must watch simply for Vinod Khanna and Zeenat.

1980 also was the year of another huge multi-starrer- The burning train. Love it! And in fact recently I saw it on TV when I was in Bombay and even made Sanil watch it. He seemed semi-impressed. But 1980 can only go to Karz! One of Subhash Ghai’s best and needs simply no introduction. The only thing I did not like about Karz was Tina Munim- could not stand her! Actually still can’t do. (And she needs to go her sis-in-law’s way and loose that fat!). And I have to mention here that Himesh Reshamiya needs to be publicly lynched for remaking Karz as Karzz! I will forgive Ram Gopal Verma for the similar sacrilegious behaviour in remaking Sholay- as Amitabh was his partner in crime and I can only attribute it to temporary insanity on both their parts.

1981: gave us the next super star in Sanjay Dutt with Rocky. Teen girls watched Rocky 50 times over and swooned and gushed. I never saw the fuss and don’t see it now either. Manoj Kumar gave us Kranti and being the patriotic person I am, I love that film. Yash Chopra gave us Silsila- a film that was not a big box office success, but was one of the most poignant love stories ever made. The plot, the music, the lyrics by Javed Aktar- "Mein aur meri tanhayi", the cast, the story line everything was just splendid. Another beautiful film that year was Basera- simply worth watching for Rekha’s restrained yet powerful performance and Shashi’s dashing looks.

But my 2 favourite movies of this year are in Naseeb and Kalyug. Poles apart but etched in my memory for completely diverse reasons. As kids we watched Naseeb on loop- I don’t think there is any other movie and my cousins and I watched as much. A dhamaal Manmohan Desai masala entertainer.

And Shyam Benegal’s Kalyug. Based on Mahabharat- from where my fascination of the epic started- and who should play my favourite Mahabhrat character- Karna- but Shashi Kapoor. Rekha made a very convincing Drupadi. Kalyug was my foray into the parallel cinema world. Then called ‘art movies’.

1982: My attraction towards art movies propelled with Arth. It was a life changing film for me. The last scene when Shabana refused Raj Kiran even though she knew he loved her so much, and instead chose to be a mother to her maid’s child was one of my first ever understanding of woman’s liberation and independence. I was 8 when Arth was released, I assume I watched it much later in life, but it left an ever-lasting impression on my mind.

1983: launched 2 other big heroes who became Sanju baba’s contemporaries. One was star son Sunny Deol with Betaab. And one a middle class chawl dweller- Jackie Shroff with Hero. I saw ‘Kishen’ on screen and I found my first true crush*. I still remember going to a cinema in town (South Bombay) with my whole family to watch this movie. And my cousin Sandy who was from Switzerland and did not understand Hindi also sat through the 3 hours of this Subhash Ghai’s masterpiece.

This year also saw the advent of Sridevi with her ‘thunder thighs’ in full glory in Himmatwala and Justice Chudhary. Also known for Jeetu bhai’s most innovative and entertaining dance steps (and white shoes)

But Hero is not my only film for that year. Because 1983 was the year one of the best movies in the history of Indian cinema was released- Shekhar Kapur’s Masoom. Adaptation from another Eric Segal novel “Man, woman and child”, Masoom showed us another side to motherhood. I have never been a Shabana fan- Arth was the only exception- and I think it has its roots in this film. I could never relate to her character in this film. Though technically her character is not really her, but I simply could never forgive her for rejecting Jugal Hansraj- which heartless person can resist the big brown sad eyes of that child as he says “Meri mummy bhi phoolon wali sari pehenti thi”. Even at young age, I was very clear in my head. I was not sure if I could forgive my husband for adultery, but I could never turn away the child. I still tear up when I hear “Tujhse naaraz nahin zindagi”. (And yeah I LOVE Shekhar Kapur- he is at the Aamir Khan level for me)

1984: My love affair with Mahesh Bhatt art movies continued with Saaransh. Anupam Kher’s debut film where he played a man of 60 years coping with his son’s death. He was only 28 years old then! A brilliant film which makes me wonder what happened to that great story teller and film maker?

This year also gave birth to 2 stars who would rule Indian cinema (and my heart) for years to come. Madhuri Dixit in Abodh- she was merely 16. And Aamir Khan in a miniscule role in Ketan Mehta’s Holi.

Another movie that just has to be mentioned is Jaane bhi do yaaron- a hilarious laugh riot! Satish Shah- one of the best comedians this industry has given us and Naseer- one of the finest actors this industry has ever given us, coupled with Pankaj Kapur and Ravi Baswani lead to one of the funniest movies of all times. Best dialouge: "Mein ne cheerharan ka idea drop kar diya hai"

* 13 years later, I was doing my MBA summer internship at Sony Entertainment (where Jackie used to have a stake holding) and one day when I was sitting at my desk, Jackie walks in and looks at me and says “hello sweetheart”. I am not a swooner, but boy did I swoon. And when we went back to college, and everyone exchanged their summer internship experiences like the projects they worked on, the important people they presented to, etc, I just said “Jackie said ‘hello sweetheart’ to me”. Yeah it was extremely bimbotic...but hell he was Jackie Shroff!(and yes I am fully aware he does not look like that now!)

** Khayyam lives in my building in Bombay. As kids, when we played on the building terrace, he used to come up and scold us for disturbing him as his apartment was just below the terrace. Our revenge was to ring his door bell and rung. I feel semi-bad now.

So that ends my top picks for the first decade of my life. And now I can only think how I want to watch each and every of these films again!

Working Class Snob

2011-06-04T18:32:00.006+08:00

For long I have battled this. What category do I fall in? In some cases it’s very clear. Like I always say, the world is divided- between people who like/love/adore Aamir and people who simply like Shahrukh and the twain shall never meet. People who drink coffee and people who enjoy their chai. People who grew up on a steady diet of Archie’s vs. people who can’t get enough of Asterix. You pick a side, and you live in it. You seldom cross over and only losers straddle both.

But when it comes to mass vs. elite, I simply can’t peg myself to one slot.

Recently at an office training, the instructor who had known me for all of that half a day, passed a comment about supermarket shopping and used me as an example of a person who probably never steps into Fairprice and in all likelihood does not even know the existence of a Shop and Save (by the way does Shop and Save still exist?). I was mildly offended, as it a massive stereotyping. And just because I wore a pretty short dress, sipped my cappuccino, and made notes in a hand-bound personalized diary with my Montblanc pen did not make me a person who turns up her nose on Singapore’s very own Fairprice! The nerve of the man!

Except I do. So he was spot on. Unless I am dying of hunger (probably not even then) would I step into a Fairprice.

But I am also the person who coordinates her work schedule based on shuttle bus timings. And takes the MRT to go to my magic temple in Potong Pasir which takes 10 times longer than hopping in a cab.

I still much rather go to Parkway Parade (in the shuttle) for the convenience than trudge all the way to Ion, Orchard for the snob value. Though I do enjoy Ion once every other month. The point being it’s an indulgence and not a norm.

And I would take a Stardust over a Vogue any day!

On the flip side, I would never buy clothes at a This Fashion (though I must admit I did, when I first came to Singapore over a decade ago. On an AE salary in advertising and paying utility and grocery bills, even This Fashion was a luxury). But I do hold Zara in good esteem.

I have certain very working class (or as Indians call it ‘middle class’) values. Like I still do the bindaas rickshaw travel in Bombay and don’t hire an air con car, I do not own more than 10 shoes at ones time (hey! I know people who have over 100 pairs. I am super modest!), I am content with basic dal-chawal meals and more comfortable around books than iPads. And I do not own a single designer bag (No Guccis, no LVs, not even a measly Coach).

But hey I also exhibit many snooty traits- never eating at food courts, only living in Tanjong Rhu (except again when I first came to Singapore), never staying in backpacker kind of places when travelling, turning my nose up on commercial cinema ventures like Patiala House. Well you get the drift.

I feel lost. When I am with the true working class even though I live like them most of the time, I feel self-conscious. But I know the elite people judge me as being way too “middle class”. Who works in advertising to pay a mortgage when you can lead a tai-tai life and go shopping every day? (No one has ever told me that, but boy I have got that look many times).

Guess if I had many readers-which thankfully don’t- I would have pissed off both sects as it may appear I am being snobbish towards one while judging the other.

But here is my thing...I never judge. Really. No one knows about another person’s life completely, so who are we to say who is doing it right and who is oh-so wrong. May be there are certain people I find tough to relate to, but their life is their own. They live by their own choices and thus the consequences. I do wish everyone would award others by the same understanding.

Live and let live is my simple mantra.

So now as I sit by the pool, sipping my lemonade (OK, a vodka infused one) I realise, the most important thing is to be comfortable in your own skin. People will still put you in the buckets they have built in their heads. And there is not one thing you can do about that.

So well I am equally comfortable indulging in high tea in Raffles hotel as sipping filter coffee in Murugans.

I love my wine (German Reisling) and cheese (double brie- still can’t do the blue cheese variety). As much as I relish the 10th Road Juhu bhel puri.

I do not wear Charles and Keith shoes (they are just too uncomfortable!) but I could never get myself to buy a Jimmy Choo either.

And I am equally comfy in a cotton sari (which my friend calls ‘NGO sari’) as I am in a summer cotton tube dress (which my mum calls ‘no shoulders dress’)

So be at ease with who you are and...to borrow a quote from a friend ‘just chill’.

Lost in Mustafaland

2011-04-23T11:02:00.000+08:00

The world is divided (OK Singapore, not the world)...between the people who love shopping in Mustafa...and the ones who wonder what the hell is wrong with the other group.

For all who know me will know I belong to the latter group. So yesterday when I decided to take trip to Mustafa, it came as a big surprise to my friendly neighbours. And to be honest I kinda surprised myself too. But all in the effort of doing things that are outside my comfort zone, and the electronic items on my list- I threw caution to wind, and ventured Mustafa bound.

Well...actually the main draw was the butter dosa and filter coffee at Murugnas, but it got me to Mustafa.

And now this is no exaggeration, but I cannot remember the last time I was there. At least a few years since my last visit... and no, not even the ‘new Cold Storage style 3rd floor grocery section’ could get me there. At this juncture I would like to point out 2 things:

1) I am eternally grateful for Mustafa’s existence. Cannot imagine what I would do without my chaat samaan and Indian Maggi masala. So a significant portion of my grocery budget is spent there, except Rose does the shopping and not me.

2) This is not a snobbish thing. I even detest Carrefour- which is French. Basically I don’t like hypermarkets. They are big, scary and make me immensely uncomfortable for reasons that can be attributed to my control freak nature. Hypermarket is a very diverse uncontrollable environment. I simply can’t enjoy my shopping there. And I adore grocery shopping!

Well coming back to Mustafa. I took a deep breath, try to ward off the look of intense fear in my eyes and entered into the ever so crowded level one perfume and make-up section. (Really?! Make-up from Mustafa?) Ok...ok...I digress...I went over to purchase a cordless phone for the home. And the sales staff was super efficient and I made my decision in all of 3 minutes. And then I had to head to B2 Computer section and to reach there I passed through every conceivable product section- toys, household appliances, clothes (again, really??), shoes and exercise equipments even. How Mustafa manages its stock inventory should be a retail management case study on its own- if it’s not one already.

I needed speakers for my laptop and a ‘wireless presenter’. I did not know it was called that, I explained to the salesperson that I wanted ‘the remote control to move PPT slides’. And to my utmost amazement he understood exactly what I wanted and showed me the ‘top of the line’ version. It’s super cool. Has a laser pointer too!

Next stop- household appliances, once again manoeuvring through aisles and aisles of assorted products and hordes and hordes of Indian tourists (and once again, WHY??).

And there I stood in front of 100s of electric kettles- clueless and confused. Another very attentive sales person- a Chinese one this time- came to me and offered his assistance. I was so grateful! It hardly ever happens in Singapore especially in super and hyper markets that someone comes over to you. At Carrefour I am usually chasing them half way down the store, and when I finally locate someone, they do not have the slimmest of idea where the product I need is located.

Not only did the salesperson educate me about electric kettles- well am not a tea drinkers so have never purchased or owned one till now, he also demonstrated the difference between a China made and a German made product. You have to sniff it! The China one smelled vile! But cost 3 times less. Now I am a complete sucker for ‘professional advice’, so I bought the 60$ German made kettle, knowing fully well that the reason for pushing it was more likely higher commission than professional attitude. But I was impressed with the salesperson’s helpful nature and the sniff test was the clincher.

As I started to read my list, the salesman asked me if he could help me further and offered to review my shopping list too. (He recoiled once he saw my handwriting though). In any case rest of my list was Indian groceries for which I made my way to level 2. Though got off at the wrong level and once again I had the lost in the big bad woods look in my eyes.

Finally I reached my destination only to find Amul butter out of stock! But then I discovered the fish and meat section. The signage of ‘Ostrich and Deer meat available’ made me nearly throw up though. I did buy fresh Pomfret (and cooked Bombay style fried Pomfret for dinner- heavenly!).

And then I got lost again...in rows and rows of frozen goods, pickles, spices and got attacked my humungous shopping baskets and run over by trolleys. Bought back scary memories and then I remembered why I never come here. The shoppers are bloody insane! They travel in hordes and have no concern or caution for fellow shoppers- some of whom are not veterans at this game!

I also came across quite a few goras shopping. One woman was walking like she was exploring some spice bazaar in Agra. And one was there with her whole family- 3 boys and a husband- and they were discussing merits of cumin and chilli powder- right in the middle of all that craziness.

I had completed my shopping by then. And I must say I am SUPER IMPRESSED at the quality of service at Mustafa. They are courteous, know where products are stocked- even if it’s not on their floor, are informative and a complete joy to deal with! Think Mr. Mustafa must have enrolled them for some customer service classes. Wish there was one for the shoppers also!

After making payment, I had to go back to the counters to pick up my items and surprise-surprise- got lost again! Finally as I walked out through the doors, I looked back with a slight shudder. Knowing that though the experience was not altogether terrible, I would so not be making my way back there anytime soon.

My tryst with Cricket World Cup

2011-04-02T14:27:00.003+08:00

Let me start by saying that I am not a real cricket fan.

Definition of a real cricket fan:

1. Rattles off cricket statistics with the ease that would put Wikipedia to shame

2. Never misses ANY cricket matches or at least any International and IPL matches (Ranji ones can be given a miss)

3. Has no qualms about leaving office bang in the middle of working hours to go home to watch a match (I had a Business Director when I first started my career in advertising in Bombay who did just that)

4. Nothing can get his eyes off the telly unless it’s a life or death situation (sometimes not even then)

5. Talking, sneezing, laughing, commenting- any type of behaviour that distracts from the match is severely frowned upon

6. Not watching a match just because India is not playing tantamount to blasphemy

Well you get my drift...and I am sure you know many, many real cricket fans. Think it’s pretty much 90% of the Indian male population.

So yes I am not a real cricket fan, but I grew up with 3 brothers and in the age of single TV unit household and Doordarshan’s channel monopoly. So whenever there was a cricket match, I had 2 options- watch it or do something other than watching TV. (Option to go watch the TV in my room, came only much later in life). So whether I liked it or not, I ended up watching cricket. And hearing my brothers scream and yell and jump and curse and yes rattle of inane cricket stats that just made me wonder how they retain so much useless info in their little heads. (And this is coming from someone whose 80% of brain capacity is filled with Hindi movie trivia).

There is just something about cricket that you get caught up in the enthusiasm and start behaving like a maniac fan too. Problem with me is that I get immensely superstitious too. And nothing brings out that crazy behaviour than an India-Pakistan match. At the recent India-Pak match the other night, I was conscious on which seat I sit, how often I sip my wine and after every wicket I took a spoonful of the tiramisu prepared by my sister-in-law. And Sanil and I had to do the customary victory kiss. Not to mention I spent half an hour desperately trying to color code my outfit. My friends evilly pointed out that the churidaar was reddish and not orange, but I call it taking creative liberties. And we won! So all that worked.

Walking down the World Cup memory lane...

My first World Cup memories are of Kapil Dev’s lifting the trophy in 1983. I still remember the pathetic 183 all out score against West Indies. And the fabulous comeback from our bowlers (Kapil Dev of course, Mohindar Amarnath- also the Man of the Match and Madan Lal) completing of one the most stunning upsets in cricket history and defeating the previously invincible West Indies. I was 9 years old then. Side bar- my other early memory of Kapil is “Pamolive da jawab nahi”. Kapil Dev ji- aap ka jawab nahin!

Flash forward 9 years ahead...1992...and yes I know Pakistan won that year’s title.

Some trivia thanks to Wikipedia- The 1992 World Cup was the first to feature coloured player clothing, white cricket balls and black sightscreens with a number of matches being played under floodlight. Innovations that have been increasingly used in One Day Internationals since World Series Cricket introduced them in the late 1970s, but they were not a feature of the first four World Cup matches. And it was also the first World Cup to include the South Africa national cricket team, which had been allowed to re-join the International Cricket Council as a Test-playing nation after the end of apartheid.

Okie...back to my memory of the 1992 world cup. It was (as it usually is) related to the India-Pakistan match. India did not even make it to the semi-finals, but at group stage defeated Pakistan by 43 runs. Tendulkar was the top scorer with an unbeaten 54 runs. Chasing a victory target of 217, India bowled Pakistan out for 173 while still having 2 overs to go.

And boy were there fireworks! I was 18 years old then remember going out for a drive at midnight with my friend Unnati to absorb the celebrations on the streets. People dancing, bursting fire crackers and being on a Pak-defeat high.

Since then India has defeated Pakistan in every world Cup match- a statistic that is well known to every Indian no matter whether you are a real cricket fan or not. It happened in 1996 quarter finals in Bangalore where India scored 287 and beat Pakistan by 39 runs. Again in 1999- and I won’t bore you with more statistics.

And then came the 2003 World Cup. The most memorable one of all for me! I was pregnant then. And I recorded it in my baby diary that if India won the World Cup I would name my baby boy Sachin.

Come 1 March 2003, the day of THE match- and also the day I was flying from Singapore to Bombay as I wanted to deliver my baby in India so I could share the joy with my whole family.

My flight was at night, so I could only watch part of the match. We were chasing a target of 274, and I left home when India had started batting. There were not many (any?) smart phones then, so minute-by-minute updates were not possible, and I remember standing in the line waiting to board the plane 7 and half months pregnant and the aunty in front of me was on her phone and yelled “Sachin out ho gaya!”.

OMG! Everyone’s heart just sank and as we sat in the plane we had to switch off our phones. So for the next 4 hours and 45 minutes we did not know the fate of the match. As the plane landed in amchi mumbai the pilot made his ‘welcome to mumbai airport’ announcement, followed with “And for all Indian cricket fans flying with us today, India beat Pakistan in the match”. All passengers roared with excitement! The enthusiasm was simply fabulous! Sachin made 98 and was declared the Man of the Match. But sadly, India lost the finals to Australia on 24th March and my baby boy came into the world almost exactly one month later to be named Sanil and not Sachin.

It’s been 28 years and 6 World Cups since our one and only World Cup victory...it has been a long wait for us all. But the longest one has undoubtedly been for our hero Sachin Tendulkar. Despite being peerless for more than two decades, the sport’s most successful batsman with a record of 99 centuries has been eluded of a World Cup win.

As he seeks his 100th international century and his first ever World Cup victory, India prays. And India hopes. But most importantly, India believes (damn the UK bookies!).

Sachin simply can’t be denied this. Even the Gods have to realize this.

Today as we battle Sri Lanka in our home ground (Sachin and mine), I pray for resilience, courage and patience for Sachin and all our team players. We are sending our prayers, well wishes and all the positive energy we can possibly garner, your way.

Victory will follow. Just play the game you play boys. Just play the game you play.

I will never be the woman who...

2011-03-12T16:55:00.003+08:00

• Knows bouncers to get access to exclusive night clubs

• Owns a Birkin bag

• Can dance on “Bollywood” numbers without a sufficient account of alcohol in her system

• Gets drunk after 3 tequilla shots

• Can flirt back in a witty fashion

• Can make round and soft chapattis

• Knows anything more about the stock market expect that it exists and people make and lose money on it

• Has a patli kamar to lachkao

• Sits on PTA committees

• Can always talk in a calm voice

• Can laugh softly

• Is bored in a library or a book store

• Allows a man to carry her bags

• Can carry off the cargo pants-white shirt look

• Is able to walk with style in stilettos. Scratch that. Can wear stilettos in the first place

• Can wear a red dress and look hot and stylish (instead of looking like an older version of red riding hood)

• Can sit through a Farah Khan movie and not get a headache

• Can miss a Aamir Khan movie and not be bothered

• Stops believing in miracles

• Eats like a wannabe anorexic girl

• And the last one to borrow from Carrie of SATC fame... I will never be the woman with the perfect hair, who can wear white and not spill on it :)

Filmfare Awards 2011- Hits and Misses

2011-02-12T23:41:00.004+08:00

I LOVE watching Filmfare Awards. In the era before I had Hub TV from Starhub (which was until last year) I used to watch the award ceremony every year on a Sunday night till 3 am- even though I had office the next day.

Thanks to Hub TV (and my friend Alpna who convinced me to get it) I recorded the Filmfare Award last week and watched it araam se pretty much the whole of today.

I remember watching the awards since I was a child...at that time the whole ceremony was not broadcasted on Doordarshan. It was only after cable TV came into our humble homes and there was more than one channel to watch, were the awards ceremony shown on telly in its full glory.

Flashback 1992- it was my FYBcom (first year bachelor of commerce of the uninformed) exams the next day. But I stayed up to watch the awards till past midnight. It was all worth it! Because Aamir Khan's Jo Jeeta Wahi Sinkandar won the Best Film. It was a disappointment then, as its now, that Aamir did not come for the awards ceremony. I remember jumping up with joy that his film won, even though he lost to Anil Kapoor who won best actor for Beta. SERIOUSLY?!

Another year, another award ceremony...but its still as much fun!

The hits this year...

1) 'Udaan' making a clean sweep taking home the 7 Filmfare Awards including Best Supporting Actor (Male), Best Film (Critics), Best Story, Cinematography, Screenplay, Best Background Music and Best Sound Design Award.

Though it was very sad that best debut male award went to Ranvir Singh for Baand Baja Baarat. The person who deserved it most was Rajat Barmecha who played the abused child in Udaan. Spectacular performance! Guess he should have offered to dance at the function like Ranvir Singh did. Other strong contenders were both the stars from Tere Bin Laden- the movie should have got some awards. It was seriously funny and witty.

Same goes for Best Debut Director which went to Manish Sharma again for Baand Baja Baarat- when it should have gone to Vikramaditya Motwane for Udaan. It was good that Ronit Roy got his due (his best performance till date- ever), and Udaan also won the Best Film in the Critics Award. Which means it would not win the Best Film in the Popular Award category. Except for a few occasions, that is the usual trend

2) Rishi Kapoor winning the best actor for Do Dooni Char again for the Critics Award. Vidya Balan won the Critics Award for Best Actress (or as its now called 'Best Actor- female)- which again meant that she would not win in the Popular Award category. But in any case, this year, it simply had to be Kajol! There could be no other.

3) Seeing Madhuri Dixit! Sigh! She is simply the best. She completed 25 years in the film industry! 25 years of looking gorgeous (even though she had terrible dress sense and no sense of style for most of her career), giving us awesome movies that showed her range of talent (from Hum Aapke Hain Kaun to Prem Pratigya, from Parinda to Mrityudand, from Tezaab to Dil to Pagal hai and the list can go on...) She did item numbers when they were not even called item numbers with the absolute hit being 'Ek, Do, Teen' from Tezaab and 'Hum ko aaj kal hai' from Sailaab. No one and I mean absolutely NO ONE can wear a navari and look as sexy as she did in that dance sequence. And who can forget 'Chane ke khet mein' from Anjaam. Only Madhuri can do that fabulous step (and Saroj Khan of course who choreographed most of Madhuri's best numbers). It was a delight to watch her on stage with Shahrukh. And even to simply see her gorgeous smile when she sat in the audience

4) IK and RK- too funny! Simply entertaining without being crude. All their acts were hilarious but I loved the SRK and Sallu act the most. Their chemistry is superb. Wish they would do a film together soon! I hate remakes...I strongly believe that one must not mess with history (SRK was not even half the Don that Amitabh Bachchan was), but too see a remake of 'Andaaz apna apna' with Ranbir and Imran would be quiet a treat :) (as long as Farah Khan does not direct it)

5) Sonakshi Sinha's performance was actually the best of the lot. And she does have something to her. Her eyes can definitely do the talking and she has that rustic Indian woman beauty that likes of Deepika and Sonam lack. Both of who were inconspicuous with their absence. Guess after the bitchy bithcy session on Karan's couch and all their flop movies last year-they thought it was best to stay away. Sensible choice ladies.

6) The legandary Gulzar saab's acceptance speech where he said a short verse and so humbly thanked Vishal Bhradwaj for 'keeping my songs young'.

7) Amitabh Bachchan receiving an award for completing 40 years in the industry. Words cant describe what a fabulous actor he is. And what never ceases to amaze me is the humility that man possesses and professes

A small request for both Madhuri and Amitabh- please speak in Hindi for your acceptance speech. Its is Hindi movies you are getting the awards for after all. And PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE work in a film together. (Amitabh and Madhuri have only shared screen space once in 'Makhna' song from Bade Miyan Chote Miyan)

The Misses...

1) Best supporting actress award for Kareena for We are family. I nearly threw up! It was obviously in exchange for her dance performance- which was also so boring and repetitive. Same songs, same steps, same expression....YAWN....The award should have gone to Amrita Puri from Aisha- stupid film, but lovely clothes on Sonam and too cute performance from Amrita who played small town girl in snooty Delhi society who calls Polo "ghodo waali hockey". LOL!

2) Priyanka TRYING to do dance like Madhuri. And I can't emphasize TRYING enough. First of all they had crammed too many songs in that one dance sequence. And yes, Mads has the best dancing songs in the history of cinema...but still...and Priyanka could do absolutely no justice to even one of the songs. It was an insipid performance when the numbers were so lovely. Not to mention, you can't do a dhak-dhak when you don't have boobs!

3) Katrina's expressionless face in the audience and random kisses she blew- once when Kareena was dancing- rather fake. Though her outfit was stunning! And she did look like a million bucks

4) Ash's fat face and bored looking expression- the less said the better. She looks like she is 50 years old! L'Oreal anti aging creams not working for you?

Who looked stunning...surprisingly Prachi Desai (good job getting a stylist sweetie) and not surprisingly Malaika Arora Khan.

Who looked like she needs to lose weight and find some films- in the process- Preity and Rani

And then the ones who looked lovely, but predictable

For once K Jo and SRK both deserved their awards. My name is Khan though long...was a very touching and inspiring movie.

Overall a treat as always...and reminds me why I love Hindi films so much....now if only Aamir starting attending the awards...it would be perfect :)

The pain is the same

2011-02-06T23:45:00.000+08:00

At a lunch party this week, once again the ‘tiger mother’ topic came up. One of my friends referenced a blog where a mum wrote that the kind of mother one is can be largely dependent on the social strata you are in. Take yourself a few rungs down in income, career and education, and perhaps you will be more of a tiger mother than you are now. As much as I would like to think that I would never be anything like a tiger mother, I am a more of a ‘follow your heart and do your thing as long as you are not harming anyone’ kind of person. But that point stayed with me.

Yesterday I watched this absolutely fabulous film- Do Dooni Char- a beautiful touching, yet humorous, portrayal of middle class Delhi teacher (played brilliantly and so realistically by Rishi Kapoor- my second fav movie of his now after Kabhie Kabhie) and his middle class family. It will tickle your funny bone and pull your heart strings, both at the same time. It showcases the daily grind and issues faced by middle class families in India as they fail to make ends meet with increasing consumerism demands. Side-bar- It was an absolute delight to watch Neetu Singh back on screen. She is the best! And am so glad she did not make a comeback with a glam-sham Karan Johar movie, but instead chose this one.

And this evening I finally managed to watch Dhobighat. I will need to dedicate a whole post to talking about that movie. It was simply divine! The reason it makes its way to this post (while still retaining a whole post of its own too) is that Dhobighat also bought into limelight a similar issue of class ideologies and what happens when the 2 worlds converge.

All this made me wonder...how different are we from each other? And I came to the conclusion that people’s emotions are exactly the same. You cannot classify love, hurt, pain, passion, longing, homesickness into working, middle and upper class.

When ‘Duggal sir’ in Do Dooni Char finds out that his son has been betting on cricket and making money, he makes him distribute all his winnings to street children. There is no shouting, yelling or any sort of punishment. Yes there is hurt, and there is a realization on how parenting teen kids can be a daunting task. It’s no different from how you or I would feel. We may react in different ways- depending on our temperaments and means-but the feelings don’t change.

A teacher living in a one bedroom apartment in Delhi suburbs and we living in high rise condos in district 9 and 15 in Singapore- are both helpless to protect our children from societies growing vices.

When in Dhobighat ‘Yasmin’ was making a video diary of her new life in Bombay to send back to her brother in UP, the pain in her voice when she missed her family was just what I used to feel when I first came to Singapore. She was in Bombay trying to get used to the big city life while enjoying all it has to offer, but she pined for her home. It took me back 13 years...I too had a made an audio diary of my life in Singapore for my family and friends- I told them of my new experiences here and I reminded them how much I missed them and longed to be back to my Bombay, back to them.

There is a big social divide between Yasmin and me. I have the means to fulfil my desires of being closer to my family. She did not. That was the only point of difference. The pain we both went through, the longing of wanting to be back home was exactly the same.

We forget this. We forget that all that all that separates us from them is that we have the means to change our situation. These means are usually monetary and sometimes social leverage. We forget that with kind of incomes we earn and careers we keep, we are a very small percentage of the society at large.

When it rained continously last weekend, we all cribbed how it prevented us from going out. Going out to spend more money and buy more thing we don't need. For most others it means that they will have to find innovative ways to prevent their make shift roof from leaking, or spend hours trying to get the rain water out of their houses.

When there is a power cut in urban India, we can barely survive those few hours without our TV and air con. And we forget that millions of people still don't have the luxury of electricity.

Quoting a dialogue from Kal ho na ho- “Apni nazar se dekho toh tumharein paas bahut kum hai, kisi aur ki nazar se dekho toh bahut jyada”.

Let’s try not to take these privileges for granted- because that's exactly what they are- privileges. Given to us by God Almighty and can be taken away anytime...Let’s remember that the pain is same.

Tiger mother needs Tiger balm to soothe her senses

2011-01-23T17:37:00.001+08:00

Amy Chua came up in conversation few weeks ago and that was the first I heard of this “tiger mother”. She is an America “author” (I believe the term is used very loosely nowadays. One book does not an author make. Well ‘technically’ it does, but author is such a commanding and awe inspiring profession-to me at least- I find it misused tremendously). Anyway, so back to Madam Amy Chua, a Chinese-American who has recently come out with a book called “Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother”. Here she states the golden parenting rules accordingly to her and it all basically boils down to “Push your kids to stretch their potential. As they are kids, and mum knows best. And yes, did I mentioned push them?”

Push to get A+ in school- Obviously Amy is not familiar with Singapore’s international schools where ‘we believe in developing the child’s personality and inner strength’ is a the mantra. Took me awhile to get used to that principle and not keep asking “Yes, sure. But when will he learn to read and spell?”

She even notes (and rightly so) that if a western child gets a B grade, his parents will probably be happy and congratulate him and may be a perfunctory “try harder next time but good job”. But in a Chinese household, hell would break loose and the mother would gasp in horror and demand to know “what happened?”

Pursue a hobby aggressively and competitively- Amy (who is a Yale lawyer by the way- guess being an over achiever paid off for her!) states in her book that a Western mum would get her child to practice the piano may be for 15 to 20 mins a day. But a Chinese mum knows that that’s the easy bit. Its next 2 hours that are critical ones. JEEZ!

And the Nazi ones- like no sleepovers, no play dates, no TV, no computer games…SERIOUSLY!

I have been hearing and reading a lot about Amy Chua and her book since then. On the web, in conversations and today Sunday Times has covered a whole section on her book. Many Singaporean-American mums have cried hoarse that Amy’s style does not reflect the general parenting patterns of Chinese mums.

Melvin Tan an opera pianist commented that Amy’s book brings focus on the white elephant which is-why Asian kids outperform Western kids at school. Errrr isn’t this like racial profiling? It may have an element of truth in it, but still a gross generalization!

Another columnist whose name escapes me (Colin Goh?) said that Amy’s style is closer to Genghis Khan than Chinese mums :)

And one other very rightly pointed out that ,what if a tiger mother gives birth to a kitten instead of a cub? Then would you not need to change your parenting style?

So now that so many people have so many reactions, I had to put in my 2 cents worth too. Like I always do. But only on subjects I am familiar with. You will never catch me talking about stock markets, tech gadgets, investments or anything remotely important like that. Because I do not like to talk about things I don’t know much about (don’t ask how I survive in advertising!). My views are restricted to the mundane and the frivolous.

So my first reaction was- FREAK! Who treats their kids like that? And which desi mum have you been hanging out with? Ok. THAT WAS A JOKE! But admit it! We all know such ‘First kyon nahin aaya’ Indian 'sherni' mums too.

And then my reaction was that she is either a publicity hound, or super brilliant. She is writing a book about parenting and criticizing Western mums parental techniques. And this is in America! Where they have an Oprah hangover and love discussing touchy-feely emotional issues on end. She would surely know that there would be massive public opinion and backlash.

So publicity hound. Or sheer brilliant way to increase book sales! People all over are talking about her and high chance they buy the book just coz of the hype.(Please dont! If you have massive urge borrow it from the library or a prison near you where the jailor is reading it to learn new tips)

For all you know, she is actually a pretty chilled mum who just had a fabulous business idea! ;) For such entrepreneurial skills, she should thank here Chinese upbringing.

On a serious note…if she really has raised her kids like that (and by the way, they are super smart and have turned out to be brilliant pianist and stuff like that), then good for her. She has raised the go getter kids she always wanted.

Now only if the kids also wanted to turn out this way…then it would be perfect. But something tells me, it may not be case. And that just makes me sad...Wish Amy knew that life trumps grades...

p.s. for all those interested in my super parenting skills, watch out this space!

In 2011 I resolve to....

2011-01-01T13:43:00.001+08:00

1) Lose weight and have a toned body- This is a default choice every year. And one that is toughest to keep. So here's hoping this year will be different...

2) Do it differently- Definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result each time. So here is to doing things differently this year and getting unexpected and desired results

3) Focus on the task and not the result- Karm kar, phal ki chinta na kar

4) Good Karmas rule- And this includes good thoughts too. Here is to remembering this when my mind is playing visual images of immediate annihilation for some people and things

5) Give people a chance- And have faith that they will see how right you are ;)

6) Keep the faith- And the belief, even when evidence points to the contrary

7) Believe more- In Krishna, in yourself and in the good of human kind

8) Be good- In deed, in thought and in spirit

9) Beckon the spirits- The non-alcoholic kind... and be more spiritual and zen-like

10) Stay zen-calm- NO MATTER WHAT (okie, that's a very tall order for me and even harder than resolution No.1). So aim to do it more often than in 2010

Here is wishing everyone a happy new year. May 2011 be everything 2010 desired to be but fell short of. And the good things that came to you in 2010, may they come back ten-fold in 2011!

Old Friends

2010-12-11T13:36:00.002+08:00

The inspiration to write this post came from some old friends who were over for a housewarming dinner last night. Now here is the thing...I am rather old. So old friends to me always meant really old friends i.e. from school and Dakshina park days, basically childhood friends.

I never ever thought I that would have a different set of ‘old friends’. And here I must add- old is referring to the amount of time I have known these friends and not a dig at anyone’s age. But last nite got me wondering about the different sets of ‘old friends’ I have now gathered. The ones in Singapore are still relatively ‘new’ compared to the ones in Bombay- but after a decade plus of being here, well they have reserved their spot in the ‘old friends’ club as well.

OK, so what is the point of this? Actually am not sure myself! This is so going to be one of those rambling posts (even more so than the others!). So brace yourself (if you are still with me that is.)

This morning I woke up and the first instinct was to thank God for all my wonderful friends. It was almost of a reflex prayer and something I do not do enough of- thank God, rather than just ask for more. And that is the reason why I started writing this post. Am still not quite sure where I am going with this...but I shall make it up as I go along...

Friends are God's way of taking care of us. So starting from the oldest to the newest, here are my forever friends:

1) My Cousins- I am extremely lucky as my family counts as my closest friends. My brothers and sisters are the very best! Jyoti, Deepu, Kamal, Bunty, Heena and Vinky- without you childhood would have never been half as much fun!

2) Dakshina Park friends- They are the oldest friends I have ever had. I am a very different person now from what I was when they knew me. My good nature ;) and bad temper is consistent- which frankly my each set of friends will vouch ( for especially the bad temper part- they all will have at least one story each about when I have completely lost it). I used to be a very shy child, did not make friends very easily, was rather chup-chup. You had to get to know me to see my friendly and talkative side.

And here’s is a big thanks to ones who thought it was worth spending that time. Special mention to Anubha, Rashika, Monika, Bijili/Nikki, Chaitali and Sadhvie. Many of the others have gone different way, some still live on Facebook and others I meet every year when I go back home in Dec (which is in a week’s time!). My first old friends are my DP friends.

3) School friends- Now here is the thing- I had a hand few of close school friends. Goes back to me being terribly shy. And those close ones- I can’t find them on FB! And one of my regrets is that I did not try hard enough to keep in touch after we left school. So Shakuntala, Jaspreet and Ujju- wherever you are, hope you are healthy and happy.

4) College friends- Life kinda went into top gear when I was 16 and started ‘college’. FYJC and SYJC (first year junior college and second year junior college) were the most fun years of my life. And the friends I made there have stayed with me since.

From ‘do you think he likes me?’ to ‘do you think I should marry him’. From crushes to crashes. From miniskirts to halter neck sari blouses. From sitting next to each other in class room (or Ladies Common Room) then to brunches now. From sharing our first drink (and smoke) then to finishing bottles of wine now. We have grown up together and seen each other through many ups and downs. Unni, Sash, Daisy, Rash, Janu, Mich, Geeta- the best girl friend gang EVER.

I read somewhere "A good girl friend is a sister that destiny forgot to give you." And this rings true for you Unnati!

5) MBA friends- This was supposed to be the time I got serious in life- about growing up, planning for the future, choosing a good career path. Yeah. I never did any of the above. I had more nonsensical type of fun in my MBA days than I had in ungrad. And planning for the future...well I could not choose my major until the absolute last minute. I actually had to pull my application out of majoring in HR into Marketing just the evening before. And finally I ended up in advertising! For which you don’t even need a graduation degree let alone an MBA.

But it was all worth it! Pallavi, Nikhil, Tewari, Meenal, Apruv, Sumi, Aps, Sree, Deepak, Pat- thanks for making the 2 years super fun!

6) Ambience friends- Ok once I stepped out of the ‘education’ phase (and I use that in quotes) to the “career” phase (and I use that in quotes too- double ones), I thought I would never make real friends anymore. I would meet new people and like some of them and have a good time in office. But that would stay within the confines of office. My friend Divya shared the same sentiments. But to both our surprise, life had different plans for us. 13 years later and we are still close friends- Divya, Sonul (yes it’s Sonal with a ‘u’) and Monisha. And all our kids are almost the same age- which makes us even closer.

From here onwards starts my journey in making and finding friends in Singapore (are you seriously still with me? If so, kudos to you!)

7) First office friends (Lacek and ICLP)- And the friends who inspired this post. My newest bunch of ‘old friends’. I met them in my first job in Singapore and the rest as they say is history. Here is to Kevin, KC, Mas, Christina, Adeline, Neeta, David and Goldie. From old T&T jokes that actually never get old ;) to new experiences that we continue sharing with each other (ideally over my fabulous mojitos).

8) Tanjong Ria friends- These set of friends made family life so pleasurable. From potluck lunches to Diwali card parties. From Tanjong Rhu walks to ECP holi celebrations. I have enjoyed my motherhood and family years in their company tremendously! Alpna, Rashi, Isha, Purnima, Nimisha, Sona, Nidhi, Vijaya, Manjusha, Pamela and Priya. Even though we are not in Tanjong Ria anymore, its lovely to know you all are still a part of my life.

9) The boys- Andrew, Neel and Nadim. Sorry was not sure where to fit you guys. Under “McCann” friends seemed rather lame, as we have been friends much after those McCann days are over. So here is to the best guy friends a girl can ever have!

"A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out."

I read this quote somewhere and it stuck with me. Last 2 years have not been the easiest ones in my seemingly long life. And these friends entered my life at the point when I needed new friends the most. And they stayed. When many other old ‘friends’ chose not to.

Archana, Riva, Manisha, Ashu, Kaushal, Arjun, Aarti-1, Aarti-2, Vidya, Amit, Anushka, Bharti, Rach, Dibyo, Kaylin and Cherylene. The last 2 years would have been almost impossible to bear had it not been for you all. (BTW C, Rach- I don't have any pix with you guys so there is no photographic evidence of us being friends. May be screen grabs of daily IM chats?)

Well I am getting to the end of the post (yes it is ending soon. I now can understand how Ashutosh Gowariker feels. It’s difficult to edit when there is so much to say).

Now that I have so many sets of old friends and new entrants who I sincerely hope will be old friends too some day, is the friendship journey is complete? The way friends have popped into my life- many times when least expected- I think not.

Again to borrow a quote: "Strangers are just friends waiting to happen." So am looking forward to making a new set of friends. And if one of them can be a charming, good humoured, tall, handsome guy with a 6 pack and biceps and intellectual and cultural sensitivities, then life would be kinda perfect. Well...a girl can a dream ;)

Out of my comfort zone

2010-12-10T00:09:00.001+08:00

I am a creature of habit. I like things a certain way (yes yes roll your eyes and think ‘anal control freak'), I like familiarity, I like a sense of routine. I will flirt with new stores (Ice at PP strongly recommended) but I seek solace in Zara. I will try new restaurants (Don Quijote in Dempsey- must visit) but I still crave for my idli and filter coffee at Murugan’s. And I am not ashamed of any of this.

I do enjoy spontaneity and impromptu plans and doing things out of the blue- but overall I take comfort in a structure of sorts.

So yeah I am a creature of habit. I don’t like not knowing about things. I don’t take part in activities that I am not good that. I need to be in the know. It’s all a part of being able to control things as much as possible. Though at this point I must add, I never worry about things that are obviously not in my control. Death, earthquakes, stock market crashes, train delays, terrorist’s attacks- these never faze me. As I can’t control them. So why bother wasting time and energy worrying about them? I have Krishna to look out for me on these fronts.

But the mortal aspects of life- yes I like to control them. And that’s why over the years I have built and pretty much lived in my comfort zone. This comfort zone is sometimes an actual physical zone. Like my friend used to incessantly tease me about my never having any desire or inclination to leave Juhu (let alone Bombay). Some of my comfort zones are mental like Jagjit Singh ghazals, Hrishikesh Mukherjee movies, my classic novels. MANY are food related- Maggi masala (only the one from India), mom's dal chawal, Awfully Chocolate's chocolate cake- well this lits can just go on and on. And some are more surreal ones like the ocean. So I have many of these varied comfort zones.

Hence at the beginning of this year I made a resolution to do things that are out of my comfort zone. And here is what I accomplished this year. Some big ones, some small ones and some completely trivial and meaningless but out of my comfort zone nonetheless.

1) Non beach holiday: In March I took a trip to Siem Reap by myself. Instead of the usual beach resort holiday- which would be, well comfortable. Siem Reap also marked my 2nd holiday all alone. First being Lagkawi (yes a beach resort).

2) Taking charge of my finances: From someone who did not know (and sometimes still struggles with) balancing a cheque book, try comparing home loans and insurance policies! But with help of some very sweet friends, I succeeded in this too.

3) Running the marathon: And I use the word ‘running’ loosely here. I 'run' slower than most people walk. But for me to run 20 mins on a treadmill was one of the biggest achievements ever! I have never been- and still am not- an athletic person. I do not enjoy sports and PE (or PT as we called it) was my worse period in school. No, actually that would be needle work! PE came a close- very close- second. So to start running on a treadmill, progressing to a cross trainer and then running on the streets was a triumph!

And running the 10K marathon was a dream! I never thought I had it in me. But I did it! The first 2 km were tough as I could see people who started 15 mins after me, racing ahead and I thought to myself “I can never complete this!” But I stuck with it and did pretty good till the 8th kilometre. And then came the F1 pit stretch with the scorching heat, and I was about to stop, sit, take a nap and then continue after an hour or so. But once again, I pushed myself. And reaching the finish line was one of the most fulfilling moments ever!

4) Sushi time: I had never had sushi until last Sunday. There I have said it. It’s in the open now. I am not a fan of Japanese food. The only Asian food I absolutely love is Thai. (India per me is not part of Asia, so Indian food is not Asian food). And the thought of eating raw fish never seemed appealing and it looked so bland! But I had decided at the beginning of 2010, I would eat sushi. And I have delayed it time after time. Fish curry, paella, tapas, red curry chicken, chole bature, paneer chilly, pizza- there are so many much much much tastier things to eat than sushi. So I did what I do whenever I need to get out of my comfort zone- I procrastinated.

Then finally I did it! A celebratory lunch post the marathon was required and it was Sushi! Thanks again Riva and Kaushal :)

The other smaller out-of-comfort-zone activities included:

• Cutting my hair shot (and getting highlights)

• Starting to learn a language. (I have a terrible ear for languages and only know Hindi and English, of which can read and write English only). Trying to add Spanish to my language repertoire now. Olla!

• Not crying every time Sanil is away from me

• Making a mean gajjar halwa (I am a chocolate cake, hazelnut mousse kinda girl)

• Reading motivational books (I am a Jane Austen girl who likes a dash of thrillers)

So it was a rather eventful year. Good things happened as did many bad things. But I survived another year and grew up a little too (and yes grew older also in the process).

But there are many more personal mountains to scale.My biggest one will be to try my hand (or rather mind) at meditation. That will be a toughie! My friend in college used to bet me 10 bucks if I could sit still in class for 5 mins without fidgeting or moving. It could be an easy 10 bucks every time! Except I never got it, as being still for 5 mins is an unaccomplished feat for me!

Another thing I want to attempt doing which will be COMPLETELY out of my comfort zone is learning art of patience and not losing my temper. That battle will be my personal Kurukshetra.

There are many fears to overcome and a lot of courage to build to step out of more comfort zones. But hopefully by end of 2011 I shall be writing a post longer than this one on my out-of-comfort-zone achievements.

Now I am off to my couch to watch back to back episodes of Gossip Girl. Now that is a comfort zone I would never want to leave ;)

The Little India Adventure and some discoveries....

2010-10-31T13:24:00.003+08:00

Anyone who knows me knows that I do not particularly like Little India. Actually scratch that. I LIKE Little India what I don’t like is visiting Mustafa (though selfishly am very happy for its existence. Where else can I get my Indian Maggi Masala and Bru coffee?). So Little India sans Mustafa is perfectly fine. After all that’s where I get my ‘soul food’- butter dosa, idly and filter coffee at Murugans and my ‘nostalgia food’- chaat and Bombay styled sandwiches at Kailash Parbat.

But once a year Diwali shopping in Little India is a must. And if I were a pretentious Indian writer living overseas, I would go at length describing how much I look forward this wondrous occasion of Diwali shopping in Little India, to see the blend of culture and modernity, to view the streets adorned with beautiful lights, and the reflection of the those lights on the glow of people’s faces, the colors, textures, fabrics, blah blah blah.

But I am not one of those pretentious writers, so all I saw is a prettily lit street indeed but with zillions of men, women, kids and shops selling everything from fire crackers and diyas to mithais and flowers and shiny kurtis and loud DVDs. And the distance between me and my dream destination- Kailash Parbat- felt very long indeed. Sigh! It kinda felt like scaling Mount Kailash!

So I took a deep breath and started:

Stop 1: Fire crackers- with the limited variety in Singapore, this was done in under 5 mins.

Stop 2: Lights- maybe it was the whole atmosphere of being in a giant disco ball of colors and shiny lights, but I had a sudden urge to buy those multi color lights to adorn my balcony. But pity I could not find anything I liked.

Stop 3-10: Readymade dhoti for Sanil- Sanil played the lead role in his school Diwali play as Ram (Yes, am super thrilled and oh-so proud). Small hitch. No one in school knew how to tie a dhoti. So I gallantly came to rescue and promised I would buy one from Little India. Little did I know what I was getting myself into! I walked all over Little India from one small shop to another to look for this elusive readymade dhoti. I must say all the shop owners were extremely helpful in pointing me to the next store/next lane, and sympathetic too- looking at me tugging around bags of diyas and firecrackers finding the dhoti for her precious child. (Come on! Even Khaushalya had it easier. I did remind Sanil that he owed me BIG time for this and he said ‘would 100 kishies suffice?’ Awwwwww! Yes, yes, yes I know he knows how to make me melt. He has had practice! He has been doing it for 7 and half years now!)

Back to the search...still searching...and everyone (including Sanil’s Hindi teacher) kept telling me to go to ‘Hanifa’. So now I went about in search for Hanifa...thinking if I find her, I will find the dhoti.

And finally I found a Hanifa- a smallish looking store tucked in the back streets of Little India, but seemed immensely popular. You had give your bags to the attendant outside (just like in Mustafa), was super crowded (just like Mustafa), had Cheena girls selling cheap perfumes to Bangladeshi workers (like Mustafa from that 70s perhaps). The resemblance was uncanny! It felt like entering back in time...before Mustafa became what it is now.

I could not help but wonder...could it be that Hanifa was Mustafa’s childhood sweetheart? But Mustafa’s dad did not want him to marry her because he had his eyes set higher for his son? OR Hanifa was Mustafa’s dad’s illegitimate child and he paid her off with this small store? Ok my mind was fried by that point of time, hence these crazy thoughts...though come on... it is intriguing no?

Finally when I was just about to give up, I saw this small nondescript store called ‘Dakshinee Silks’. Last ditch attempt...and yes!! They had readymade dhotis!! For S$18 only with the kurta! Mission accomplished.

Stop 11 and 12- I headed toward my dream destination of Kailash Parbat- after stopping at the temple to thank the Gods.

And then I was in heaven. I ate more that day for dinner than what I eat usually in a day.

Started off with yummy pani puri. Then ate chole batura- and when the waiter got the plate with those two gigantic baturas, I kept one batura on the side, away from me, reminding myself that one was enough. But no sooner than I had taken the first bite, I knew, that second batura would not be spared. I also drank some refreshing lime soda. And kulfi falooda for sweet endings. The poor manager just kept looking on, as he had probably not seen a single woman eat so much all by herself in such a short time. But it was all worth it!

And thus ended my Little India adventure. And it was not so bad after all.

Wish you all a very Happy Diwali! Have a wonderful time and go head and indulge!

Don't miss out on the real life....

2010-10-23T11:53:00.001+08:00

A little more face to face,
a little less facebook

A little more real conversation,
a little less IM chat

A little more meet,
a little less tweet

A little more on life,
a little less on line

Taking compliments graciously…

2010-09-30T10:22:00.002+08:00

…has never been my forte. I simply am at loss to respond courteously when I get a compliment.

“Seema these kebabs are delicious! How did you ever make them? Seems so time consuming”

Regular people’s response: “Thank you. So glad you enjoying them”

The Seema response: “It’s damn simple. Nothing to it. And I think the salt could be lesser”

“Your dress is simply gorgeous”

Regular people’s response: “Thanks!”

The Seema response: “Thanks but it’s really old”/ “Thanks. But it only cost 25$”/ “Thanks but it’s not mine. Borrowed from my friend” (at least I say "Thanks")

“Very good presentation. Well done!”

Regular people’s response: “Thank you.”

The Gloater response: “Thanks. I was working till 2 am on it.”

The Kiss-ass response: “I learn from best. I have observed how you all talented people present, and I can only but try and emulate..blah blah blah...”

The Seema response: “It was easy. No biggie.”

“You have lost weight!”

Regular people’s response: “Thanks! I am working out.”

The Seema response: “Really? No ways! Weighing machine does not say so. Also I have been eating a lot!!”

When I responded to a weight loss compliment like this last week, my friend just replied “May be the last time I saw you, you were way too bloated”. OMG! I complained that he was mean. And he advised that when anyone compliments, one should smile sweetly and say thanks. Rather than disagreeing with the complimentee. (Yeah yeah, Microsoft spell checker has already highlighted that that’s not a word)

The worst one was when a college friend commented on my photo and said “You look just the same as you did back then”. And I turned around and blurted “So I looked this old in college?!”

Sigh! You get the drift….

I think taking compliments is an art. (As is giving them. And here is how NOT to give compliment).

Taking a compliment the Seema-way does one of the following:

1) Makes the complimentee feel you are not gracious/grateful/courteous

2) Gives the impression you are arrogant/too full of yourself

3) Give people another chance to think “why is she so weird?”

So my plan is now to grin and enjoy it…so keep those compliments flooding in ;)

What’s in a name? That which we call an iPhone, by any other name would still be a touchscreen

2010-09-19T00:48:00.003+08:00

This evening I finally bought a new phone. And the only reason I did so, was my last phone was stolen (which in Singapore context means left behind in a cab). Before that I changed my age-old Nokia for a not-as-age-old-Nokia for a 2-fold reason

Reason no 1: Sanil said “Mama, you have had this phone since I was a baby. Since then Rose has got 3 new phones”

Reason no 2: Location- Asia Pacific conference in Bangkok. And I casually put my phone on the table. The Business Director from Korea very innocently asked “Is that a phone?” Yes the ground should have opened up and swallowed me.

When I first came to Singapore, I was a part of a conversation between 2 locals.

Local 1: “Wow. You spent 700$ on a new phone?!”
Local 2: “Yes it’s the coolest, blah blah technology, blah blah features, blah blah...”
Local 1: “There are so many better things you can spend 700$ on...like... SHOES!”

As an Account Exec, with a princely sum of 2300$ per month to my name, I did not really have much to offer to that conversation.

Cut-to recent phone loss. EVERYONE (including my mum) asked me if I was going to get an iPhone. Many assumed that I naturally would. And most others were most amazed to know that I would not be getting one. People sneered, sniggered, rolled eyes (all except call out a witch hunt against me). And none could decipher my motive...and yes I had a few:

a) I have zero hand eye coordination. And using the slide-unslide function coupled with the touch screen pad to write SMS...too traumatic

b) I don’t see the fuss

c) Sanil wud use it more than I would
d) I always have and always will be on the side of the underdog (in this case Nokia)

e) The most popular choice is never mine (case in point Shahrukh Khan, KJo movies and Titanic- for me its Aamir Khan, Anurag Kashyap movies and Shawshank Redemption)

f) Even my plumber has an iPhone- where is the damn cool factor that everyone raves about? How can something so mass, still be so cool?

g) I am the most untech savvy person I know. I use a phone to talk (gasp!) and SMS (I do embrace useful technology) and sometimes to take pix of Sanil

h) And frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn

And I really hoped less people would care about the phone they owned, the car they drove, the house they lived, the school their kids went to and the number of zeros in their annual income.

Why do we use objects to define ourselves?

• An iPhone makes you cool

• A BMW car makes you hot

• An Armani suit makes you popular

• A LV bag makes you glamorous

Is that what it’s all come down to? I am not being philosophical or spiritual. And I am guilty of object-affection too. I don’t define myself through objects, but I let objects rule my life. Besides Sanil, what I love most in my house are my books (and my sofa). I am a location snob and can’t imagine myself living in parts of Singapore (or Bombay) besides a select few locations and I am prejudiced against people who don’t read. I use objects to evaluate my state of happiness and my opinion of others too.

One of the definitions of object is: something material that may be perceived by the senses.

It is material and it is simply perceived by our senses. We attach labels to something inanimate and then we further assign a value to it. And then we extend that value to the person owning (or in my case, it’s usually not owning) the said object.

Let’s try and break free from these shackles. It’s time to focus on the subject i.e. us, and give lesser importance to the objects.

So next time you meet your friend compliment her on her smile (instead of her dress), get impressed by your boy friend’s witty remarks and charming personality (instead of his new watch/bike/car), praise your neighbours cooking skills (instead of eyeing her new furniture).

Objects will always be there and it’s important to acknowledge, appreciate and be grateful for their existence. But when they take centre stage in our life, it’s time to re-write the script.

p.s. for the ones who simply HAVE to know, I got myself a shiny new Nokia C6 or is its C5- well what's in a name, right? ;)

20 tips on becoming an Indian gangster’s moll

2010-08-26T15:00:00.001+08:00

1) You should be aware of the existence of the term ‘moll’

2) You should have lived the 70s

3) You should know how to tie saris below the waist line

4) And looking stunning in ‘western clothes’ too

5) You should understand Ajit and Mona Darling jokes

6) Know who Ajit is in the first place

7) Carry off ‘the cigarette holder’ look with style

8) Use red lipstick

9) Wear high heels

10) And plunging necklines

11) Laugh knowingly

12) Smile seductively

13) Know the ins-and-outs of gold smuggling

14) But drug smuggling is strictly a no-no*

15) Learn a Helen dance routine**

16) Be haughty

17) And flirty

18) Have ability to recognize the mole in the gang

19) Keep your day job in case the underworld politics turns against you

20) Don’t fall for the honest police officer no matter how charming and good looking he is***

* The principle borrowed from Don Corleone aka God Father and repeatedly used by all the ‘scrupulous’ Mumbai Dons

**I recommend “yeh mera dil” from Don- the original Don. Kareena only managed to do semi-justice to the song in the new-crappy-Don (what was the talented Farhan thinking? Not about Kareena; about the movie in general)

*** like Shashi Kapoor in Deewar

Bhaiya mere…

2010-08-24T11:59:00.005+08:00

Rakhi ke bandhan ko nibhana, bhaiya mere, choti bahen ko na rulana….a song that made its way to our 14 inch TV set every August through the marvelous program of Chayageet. It acted as an announcer for the upcoming festival of Raksha Bandhan.

Raksha Bandhan is a Hindu festival for brothers and sisters. A sister ties the ‘holy thread’ (Wikipedia described the Rakhi as that) on her brothers wrist and the brother is then bound to protect his sister against all of life’s perils. Brother also has to get a gift (or the ever-welcome cash) for the sister, who in turns gives him sweets. Rule of thumb- no Indian festival is complete without exchange of sweets.

So that in a nutshell is Raksha Bandhan or Rakhi. My 2nd favorite festival after Holi (which is by far my favouritest! And yes I know that’s not a word). Diwali stands at no. 3.

Growing up with 3 brothers makes one naturally inclined towards Rakhi. Lifetime protection AND fab gifts or cash every year. It’s a no brainer on why Rakhi ranks high on my popularity charts!

On a less frivolous note…

A relationship between a brother and sister mirrors a roller coaster ride- ups and downs, lows and highs, screams (tons of them!), laughs, smiles, scares- but ultimately a fabulous fun experience!

Younger brothers can be a pain in the a$%$. No question.

They hoard the bathrooms (and my bros are notorious for that)
Never let you borrow their stuff
Capture and never release the TV remote
Are secretive and mysterious (when actually their lives are really not that glamorous)

And mums tend to have a soft corner for them

But they make life super fun….

• If you want to get out of a boring family wedding, use them. They will come up with a devious plan and you will not only get out of the wedding, but also get cash from parents to go eat out.

• They are great buffet companions. Especially for me- as I can eat (and usually do eat) more than most boys I know. And going for an all-you-can-eat session with girls- is a bloody waste and makes you feel like a glutton. But go with your brothers- and you will never be out of place.

• Inane conversations are easy and can lead to hour long debates about random and inconsequential topics like ‘where can you get the best bread and butter pudding?’

• They are great chauffeurs- growing up in Bombay, even though I was the older sister, was always in need to be picked up and dropped off- and they are always there (sometimes even when I did not need/want the ride :)

• Their crazy antics and banters keeps the atmosphere light and spirits high

On a more serious note…

My brothers are the best! I would not trade them for anything in the world (yes, not even a pot of gold, or a 10 carat diamond. Ok….a 10 carat diamond may sway the deal). They are funny, smart, cool and very very loving.

They never take themselves or me too seriously, but take our relationship very seriously.

And they have always been there for me- whether I voiced the need or not. They have been my support and have enabled me to make tough decisions because I knew that they would be there if I fall.

They never judge, they always praise and they tease me consistently- which keeps me grounded and helps me retain my sanity.

And they make the most wonderful maamas ever! Sanil is a big fan of all 3 of them and takes their word as the gospel.

“Pu maama said it’s the weekend, so I can do whatever I want”

"B said there is no need to do poetry homework because poets don’t make any money"

"Is Kamil maama the best cricketer in the world?”

My brothers make my life complete. And without them, I would be so much less off!

Sweet endings…

I wish no matter where I am in life, and no matter where life takes them, this bond never breaks. They have long ago fulfilled their vow of protection, but still it’s reassuring that every Rakhi this bond is further strengthened.

In a recent post I read about brothers and sisters, the writer very aptly said that “As married adults, the relationship you have with your siblings depends on your spouses. If they will it, your relationship will flourish. If not, it will flounder. As simple as that”. And for my existing relationship with my bros which continues to grow and flourush, I do have my 2 amazing sister-in-laws to thank!

My hope is that Sanil will be as great a brother to his cousin sisters as my brothers are to me.

Will end on another popular Raksha Bandhan song "Phoolon ka taaron ka, sab ka kahna hai... ek hazaaron mein, meri behna hai.". Ok my brothers wud NEVER sing this song for me (primarily becoz none of them can sing), but I know they believe its true ;)

p.s. remember to wear your rakhi for at least one day! Someone will do chugli and I will know if you did not! And yes,I will vasoolofy the kharchi when I see you next!

Thinking of you all a lot today! Lots of love, Seema

So what was your excuse this Independence Day?

2010-08-15T23:44:00.001+08:00

The day has come to an end. Another day in another month in another year to most people all over the globe. But it’s not! This very day 63 years ago, India got Independence from the British Rule after years of struggle. It is a special day. It should be a special day. A day when you remember all the sacrifices made by so many great men and women, thanks to who, you and I live the kind of life we do today.

My guess would be most of urban Indians living in the India ‘metros’ take 15th Aug as another public holiday (and this year they would whinge how it falls on a Sunday and hence they ‘lost’ a holiday). And most people living outside India, well it’s just another day...if it’s a weekday, you get dressed, drop kids to school, go to work, come back home, sleep, the usual humdrum. And if it falls on a weekend like it did today, well then there is no need to get early out of bed is it?

But that’s not true right?

We get up early on weekends for various different reasons:

- Morning run

- Morning sex

- Biking

- Brunch with eggs Benedict and Mimosas

- Or simply because kids don’t let us sleep in

- Etc, etc

So why could you not have got up today and gone to the Indian Embassy in Singapore for flag hoisting?

It started at 9.00 am and lasted less than 10 mins. The flag is hoisted and you sing the National Anthem. If you don’t the words, you just stand still, and sink that amazing patriotic feel in the air. After which you need to stay only if your kids were performing on stage, or if you simply feel like it.

10 minutes. That’s all. And in Singapore travel time cannot exceed more than 20 mins in cab at that time.

So what was your excuse?

- Lazy?
- Boring?
- Lame?
- Not worth getting out of bed for?
- Or worse of all- it’s just not something professional expat Indians do?

In all the years I have lived here, I cannot help but notice that the majority of the audience are young students and people in the diplomatic circles. From all my expat Indian friends, only a handful (think I need only one of my hands to count) attend the flag hoisting.

Why is that so? I simply cannot fathom!

1) Are you ashamed of your country? Then f&**ing give up your nationality! The Indian passport does not come with very many privileges in the first place. Give it up. Don’t bother being an Indian any more.

2) Or are you ashamed of yourself? How can an educated, rich, professional, expat be seen with the riff-raff of students, workers and government babus? What would it do to your reputation amongst your colleagues and friends? Won’t they laugh at you? Poke fun? (I know! It happens to me all the time. But it never fazes me)

3) Or you simply don’t care? The thought just does not cross your mind perhaps? But yet, you never forget to watch the latest SRK blockbuster do you? Or trying out the latest Indian restaurant in Singapore? Then why can’t you remember this day?

4) Or is it just that you don’t think it’s important enough? You feel you love your country and are proud of it, so why do you need to attend a flag hoisting of Independence Day? I think many of you would probably fall in this category. (Though I personally know many people who fall in the category 1 and 2 as well). I would like just to remind you that expression of an emotion is almost as important as an emotion itself. Doesn’t your spouse get angry with you when you don’t tell her enough that you love her? You know and she knows that you do. But she needs and desires that expression. Don’t you express your admiration for children’s smallest successes? Don’t you call long distance to wish your parents on their birthdays and anniversaries? Don’t you leave funny and caring posts on friends Facebook profiles?

Then why can’t you express your love and gratitude to your Motherland? Is attending flag hoisting the only way to do it? Of course not! But is it a symbolic expression of patriotism? Yes it sure is!

And it will do wonders for your own soul. To be with your fellow countrymen, singing (or humming) Jan-gan-man, seeing the tiranga flying and knowing however far you may be, you always have home to return to- there is not a calmer feeling in the world.

And after those 10 minutes are over, go lead your regular life. (I went for a breakfast at Jones, read Life! and then headed home)

But the feeling of pride in my heart of where India has reached today, makes my heart bigger, my smile wider and my courage stronger. Coz if we survived the colonial rule and started with next to nothing just a generation ago, we can pretty much do anything.

Today India is the largest democracy which has elected a women and a minority Prime Minister (USA has never had a woman President till now, and elected its first minority President only last year). It is slated to be the 3rd largest economy in next 40 years (after USA and China). Is home to the great invention of our times- the cheapest car in the world, Tata Nano. And has given the world visionaries like Narayan Murthy, creative geniuses like Tagore and legends like Gandhi (amongst the trivial though commercially viable Ms. Universes and Ms. Worlds).

As Indians we not only survive the odds, we excel.

So let’s please just give due to the country that makes it all possible.

Jai Hind!

Many Worlds Theory- A Seema Interpretation

2010-08-07T00:11:00.000+08:00

Who are we? Why are we here? What is beyond Earth? Are there aliens? Will they invade Earth? Why can’t we invade their planets first? Why are aliens depicted as green? Are there any cute n eligible ones? These are not merely philosophical questions; they are also scientific ones (barring the last one of course- that was just added in so you would stay with me in the post). Even as a child when I debated about such questions or tried to find answers- I reached only one conclusion. “We don’t know”. It’s as simple as that. We don’t know. And by ‘we’ I mean a collective of physicists, scientists, Nobel Prize winners, doctors, inventors, all over the globe. No one knows these answers. For every theory, there are an equal number of ones than refute it, and an equal number that support it.

So what exactly happens outside the galaxy we inhabit? Is there another galaxy far, far away?

I love the quote from the ‘97 science fiction thriller ‘Contact’ (one of Jodie Foster’s best films), where as a young girl she asks her dad “Dad, do you think there are people on other planets?” And he looks up to the sky and replies “I don't know. But I guess I'd say if it is just us... seems like an awful waste of space”.

Exactly. “I don’t know” was his answer. (And yes it would be awful waste of space).

A related theory to this is the Multiple Worlds Theory or the Many Worlds Theory (MWT). As explained by the “dummies” website: “The multiverse is a theory in which our universe is not the only one, but states that many universes exist parallel to each other”.

MWT is an interpretation of quantum physics (a term I love using whenever I can after it was popularized by Flash Forward). It was developed originally by American physicist Hugh Everett in 1957. It was further propagated by other eminent physicists and researchers, but not all physicists really believe in MWT.

So why am writing about MWT? I am so not a sci-fi lover. In fact I detested science even as a subject in school. This is all due to a recent obsession of mine called “Flash Forward”. It’s one of the best shows on TV in recent times. And am still devastated that Season 2 was cancelled. (Why o why? Is it not enough for ABC that I am a true lover and an ardent fan?? Yes, yes I know. ABC will not spend millions of dollars to air a show just because I love it so much- though am sure there are many others like who would have been very disappointed too).

Okie. So back to Flash Forward. The show in a nutshell- there was a global blackout- every human on the planet lost consciousness for 2 mins and 17 seconds. And they all saw their future 6 months hence. A married woman who loves her husband and has a happy marriage sees herself sleeping with another man. A young America doctor living in San Francisco sees himself in love with a Japanese girl living in Kyoto. And she sees the exact same thing too. My darling Agent Noh (John Cho) sees nothing- leading to believe that he won’t have a future 6 months hence, i.e. he dies.

So what now?
• If we have seen the future, can we change it?
• Can we avoid it?
• Can it change us?
• Is our fate determined by the Almighty?
• Or do we as humans have the power to mould our future and change our ending?
• Do we have a choice?
• If not and if our destiny is decided, then why the charade of choice?

The show grapples with many such questions (amongst solving the mystery on how and why the Flash Forwards occurred, criminal intents, love triangles and many other interesting sub plots). But it does raise very valid questions. 2 specific ones actually:

1) Is our fate is sealed? Whatever decision we take or choices we make, will ultimately lead us to that fate. But the paths we take, the experiences we experience, the relationships we grow, will all be different depending on our choices. But our fate is pre-decided.

OR

2) Destiny is in our hands. Our choices will lead us to a destiny- which is not specified by anyone. Depending on our choices, our destiny will change.

So is life like a Hindi love story where the end is decided (boy-girl live happily ever after)? But the story line and plot is different for every story (think a Yash Chopra film vs. an Anurag Kashyap one).

Or is life like a blank canvas and every human being can paint it with the colors of his choice? And thus making the end product completely dependent on the taste, skill and imagination of the painter i.e. the human being himself. Meaning there is no pre-decided ending.

I will say it again “We don’t know”. But what did hit me was a mention on MWT in Flash Forward. Where Simcoe tells Olivia (Olivia is the married woman who saw herself sleeping with another man- Simcoe- in her flash forward, who she had never met before that day). He explains to her that all our choices are actually being played out in a parallel universe somewhere. So a part of “me” is living out my other choice in a universe somewhere. But I can never meet my “other me” so I don’t know how her life is and she does not know mine.

At every major fork in the roads of our lives we usually have 2 big choices e.g. you are 21 and graduating from college. You have 2 big choices-pursuing your education further or taking up a job. In this life, here on Earth, you have gone to college. BUT the road forked, and your “other me” went to work. She had different experiences from you. Her life is playing out in a Universe somewhere while you are living your life here on Earth. You both probably think “what if” many times- she thinks “what if I had gone studied further?” And you think “what if I would have gone to work”.

This is just a simple example of two probable decisions at one point of time. But many times the number of decisions is not restricted to two. And after that one decision is made, there are so many other choices that follow e.g. you have decided to study further, but what do you major in? Which country do you study in? How long do you study for? All these roads come with their own forks.

These parallel universes* apparently take place in the same space and time as our own universe, but you still have no way to access them. Every moment of your life, every decision you make, is causing a split of your “now self" into an infinite number of "future selves", all of which are unaware of each other.

* A simple portrayal of MWT was in the 1999 Gwyneth Paltrow starrer ‘Sliding Doors’

I like the MWT Theory. Its existence simply means that no decision of mine is wrong. Because if it is, then the right decision is being played out in the parallel universal. And somewhere my other me is living the life I think is perfect- loving husband who is an architect, 2 kids- Sanil and a baby girl, nice house, decent career, enough money and a walk-in-closet with many many clothes. And while I reciting my fantasies, I would like to add that my other me is a size 3, has long hair with gorgeous curls, a flat tummy and thin waist line, a pretty face and yes a metabolism that allows her to gorge on chocolate cake with no impact on that thin waist line.

But then again...who is to say that my other me got the right end of the stick? She could be the one living out the wrong decision.

The parallel universe need not be the desirable one after all!

So I take solace in the fact that if I have not got something I long for, my other me is enjoying it- right now, in the parallel universe. And any pain that I have to go through is me shielding her from that pain.

So as long as my other me is happy, I will always be happy too ;)

Tamanaa

2010-07-24T16:04:00.002+08:00

Suljhi hui zindagi ki tamanaa hai,

uljhe huye sawaalon ke pehrein mein

Shaanti aur sukh ki khoj hai

ek bechain mann ke mele mein

Garam dhoop ki khawish hain

baarishon aur saridiyon ke mahino mein

Sookoon aur santosh ki chah hain

ek bheed se badi mehfil mein

Ghoomte ghoomte, chalte phirte

har roz ki zindagi jeete jeete

Kabhi muskurate, kabhi aasoon bahate

isi tarah, kisi mod pe kahin

Jab ilm na hoga, chah na hogi,

Jab hosh na hoga, talaash na hogi,
Jab aakhen dhoondna band kar lengi,

Tab,

achanak,

us ek lamhe mein,

Sab dikhega saaf,

aur phir na rahegi koi pyaas

Tab tak us pal ka hai intezaar

Lekin pehlein us pal ki tamanaa ko karna hoga faraar

Kyon ki jab dil mein nahin rehti hai woh aaas

Tab hi woh chahat khud chal kar aa jaati hai paas

My Top Ten Love Stories

2010-07-10T12:15:00.002+08:00

1) Pride and Prejudice- There is no love story as magical, wonderful and real as Lizzy and Darcy's. Has to be first on the list.

2) Qayamat se Qayamat Tak also known as QSQT- my all time favourite Hindi movie. I know, I know...it’s as cliché as cliché can get. But I can’t help myself. I loved Aamir then, and love him now. And I have lost count on how many times I have seen this movie. QSQT is to me what DDLJ is to other girls.

3) Pretty Woman- classic! Who can create magic better than Richard Gere and Julia Roberts? (I absolutely refuse to believe that he is gay as many gossip sites claim). Its also one of the first movies I saw with friends in Eros during Junior College days. Beautiful memories!

4) Maine Pyar Kiya- sigh! Blame it on my age. I was 15! But it has happy memories so I will not watch it now and ruin them. The movie was also responsible for the catch phrase "Dosti ka ek asool hai madam, no sorry, no thank you".

5) Ankhiyon Ke Jharokhon Se- loosely based on Erich Segal’s Love Story. (best romantic book ever by the way- even Sonam Kapoor was reading it in ‘I hate luv storys’). It starred Sachin (so cute!) and Ranjeeta (even cuter!) and it had a sad ending, which only made me like it more. And the title song is the one of most romantic songs ever.

6) Saath-Saath- A Farooq Shaikh-Deepti Naval starrer (one of the best on screen couples till date). It gave us one of Jagjit Singh’s best ghazals “tum ko dekha to yeh khayal aaya”. And it showed what happens to love after marriage. A true portrayal of a love story leading to marriage but with miraculously a happy ending.

7) Sleepless in Seattle- Meg Ryan is the rom-com queen and I can watch this movie multiple times over.

9) Only You- Marisa Tomei’s search of her soul mate since she was a child and a fortune teller at a carnival tells her she is destined to marry “Damon Bradley”. Of course as fate should have it she falls in love with a Peter- played by the devilishly handsome Robert Downey Jr. who just pretends to be Damon. What’s in a name? I will take RDJ even if his name was Bhola Prasad (ok may be I would get him to change his name first)

10) Chandni- Most Indian girls would be seriously offended that I did not count DDLJ, Dil to pagal hai, Kuch Kuch hota hai and other “Raj-Simran” type of movies in my top ten. Sorry! SRK just ruins it all for me. But I am a fan of the older Yash Chopra movies. Could not decide between Lamhe and Chandni and settle for the latter as I kinda like love triangles where the girl has to pick between 2 guys. And Sridevi never looked better!

11) Sailaab (the TV series not the movie)- Though I do feel that Madhuri’s item number in Sailaab the movie in a navari “Hum ko... aaj kal hai... intezaar...koi aaye... leke pyaar” is the best item number in the history of Indian cinema. Ok I digress... (And yes I know this is no. 11 and it says “Top 10” but I didn’t think anyone’s counting, and it’s my post, so live with it). Sailaab is the 2nd best TV show ever made in India (first one is Trishna). Sailaab aired in 1997 on Zee and starred Renuka Shahane (Madhuri’s sister from Hum apke hain kaun who dies), Sachin Khedekar (Tabu’s impotent husband from Astitva), Prajakti Deshmukh (who no one except me probably remembers) and Mahesh Thakur (plays cameos in many movies nowadays and was the dad in Shararat). Sailaab demonstrated a sensitive portrayal of love in an extra marital relationship between Shivani (Renuka) and Rohit (Sachin). But it is the Gaytri-Rohit story angle to watch out for. Very poignant and beautiful. A production by Ravi Rai- wish he would give us some more of this.

That’s my top 11 :)

Will end this post with a quote I came across recently and it stuck with me “Someday, someone, will walk into your life and will make you realize why it never worked out with anyone else”. (This, believe it or not, came up in an office meeting and I nearly had tears)

I love luv storys

2010-07-04T22:17:00.009+08:00

Ok, not the most original title, but its topical, no? Though why would you want a movie title with one typo (luv) and one grammatical error (should be ‘stories’ like the plural of story and not ‘storys’), I don’t know. But might as well go with it...

Ok, so I do love ‘luv stroys’. They offer hope, smiles and more stuff to dream about. And am a huge fan of dreams and dreaming. As Mahi (of ‘Mahi Way’ fame) so eloquently put it “Mere dimag mein na har samay ek naya sapna chlata hai- movies ki tarah- woh bhi Technicolor mein”. (My mind is forever seeing dreams like movies or something to that effect).

I am also a Hindi Film movie snob (as my regular readers- all 9 of them- would know, I condone the use of the term Bollywood). I prefer good Hindi cinema, and usually turn up my nose on commercial cinema- but I watch it all the same. Becoz fluff and frills thy name is escapism.

So I naturally went and watched “I hate luv storys”- first day 2nd show! And enjoyed it (more on that later*). But it did make me think about why are love stories so popular? Any film industry all over the world, any soap opera, any TV sitcoms- love stories reign supreme. And even “serious meaningful” movies usually have a love story element. Which I guess is a given, as love is the corner stone of all relationships and finding your soul mate, janam janam ka saathi, companion, partner, love of your life is what everyone desires- whether they admit it or not. So the fact that there is a love angle in most movies, books, soaps, sitcoms, music videos, song albums, etc is nothing to be surprised about.

But the obsession with love stories per se (and the multi-million dollar industry of chick lit and chick flicks- and yes I am a huge contributor to that) does make me ponder sometimes.

Most love stories or rom-coms (romantic comedies for the uninformed) have one of the below story lines:

1) Boy meets girl (or girl meets boys- it’s all about equality), first comes dislike, then friendship, then passion, then love. Remember “Dil- Madhuri-Aamir starrer”? Or the ever famous “Love Story” (original title that one). The movie which launched Kumar Gaurav.

Side-bar: till date my mom laments on why he could not make it big. Which does beget some thought- as he was one the premier ‘chocolate boys’, had a rich influential dad, well connected in the industry, was talented (remember Naam- brilliant!) and not bad looking. Which does make me believe that luck, fate, destiny have way too much play in our lives. OK- this is much more than any space anyone must have devoted to Kumar Gaurav since he disappeared into oblivion in the early 90’s. So I shall stop.

Bottom line- first “I-can’t-stand-to-see-your-face” dislike to “I-will-give-up-my-life-for-you” love.

What I question: all the things you hated about this person when you first met him, would those qualities not resurface? Or you believe that you can change a person (HA!)

2) Childhood sweethearts: Awww must say this is one of my favourite themes. Remember “Hum Kisise Kum Nahin”? And the sweet “kya hua tera vada” song? Which Tariq (am convinced he was born with a guitar around his neck and has had one in every scene of every movie he ever starred in- all 5 of them) and Kaajal Kiran who used to sing the song to each other as kids and it was the song that bought them together too. So sweet! Other childhood sweetheart love stories are Devdas (Devdas and Paro; though that kinda is more of a tragedy), Parineeta (lovely! Only movie besides Dil Chahta Hai where I liked Saif) and many others that I can’t remember now.

What I question: in today’s fast moving world where you are popular as your last Twitter feed, how can one person continue to be the most important one in your life from childhood till you die? It’s awfully sweet and all that, but won’t you get bored?

3) Bad Boy-Good Girl routine: I can relate to this one most of all. It’s the classic good girl believes she can make the bad boy good. Err “No sweetie (and yes I am taking to myself now), it ain’t gonna happen!” Bad boys don’t turn good just coz they met you and you influenced them. But yes, I like the archetypical ‘bad boy with heart of gold’ and yes, only I can pierce the cold exterior to uncover his nice, caring side. Case in point Kunal Kapoor (he is such a cutie, second place in my heart after Aamir) in Aaje Nachle played the proverbial bad boy transformed because of the good girl Konkana who loved him.

What I question: how do you distinguish between the actual bad boy and the bad boy with the heart of gold? Becoz in 9 cases out of 10, chances are you are with the former

4) Best friends turn lovers: There is something intrinsically beautiful about that fact that the love you were looking for all your life is actually right next to you as your best friend- only you never noticed. My favourite example of that is Barney and Laura from Erich Segal’s epic novel “Doctors”. They grew up as neighbours and best friends, went to med school together, consoled each other through numerous break-ups and f$%$-ups, only to find that they were destined to be together. Ceclie Ahern’s (author of PS I love you book) “Where Rainbows End” is also about 2 best friends Rosie and Alex and the story of how they ultimately get together.

What I question: what if it does not work out? You lose a best friend in the process. That’s sad, no?

5) Rich boy-poor girl; poor boy-rich girl: Needs no explanation. Every Hindi movie ever made in 1970’s and 80’s had this story angle in some way, shape or form. And Hollywood is no stranger to it either. Remember Tom Cruise’s Cocktail? (It even includes the never-gets-old scene of girl’s father trying to buy the boy off). Jeez! Or look at “For love or money” with Michael J Fox or the desi-adaptation “Yes Boss” with SRK and Juhi Chawla. The ‘twist’ here was that both the boy and girl were poor but ambitious and they had to choose between love and money. Any guesses what won? Yes! Love triumphs all! I really liked one dialogue SRK says in Yes Boss “Doh nakamiyamb log ek kamiyab zindagi nahin bana saktein”. (2 unsuccessful people cannot make a successful life). Of course he does go back on his words, and chooses love. But there is a lot of truth in what he said. Bitter truth, but truth all the same.

What I question: Well, there are way too many of them. As this is least believable story line for me. Seriously! An heiress marries a taxi driver and lives happily ever after?! Really!? (Raja Hindustani with Karisma and Aamir- only Aamir movie I can’t tolerate!)

Ok enough of “Idhar udhar ke baatein, vegera vegera” (my fav line from “I hate luv storys)- let’s get to the point- love stories are:

• Predictable

• Follow a standard pattern

• Are quiet far from reality

• Stretch the truth

• Make false promises

• And worse of all, show us what we are missing in our real lives

So why-oh-why do we still torture ourselves with them?

I think the answer is simple: at heart we all want to believe that magic exists. We sometimes find touches of this magic in our real lives (yes it exists and it happens) but our eyes are blinded with the realities of life- work, kids, school, responsibilities, bills, gym, kitchen, the list goes on, that we miss this magic.

Hence we pay 10$ for a movie ticket and 8$ for the pop corn-coke combo for someone to show us their version of this magic. And for those 2 or 3.5 hours (if its Hum aapke hain kaun), we believe again, we cry for our heart-broken heroine, we laugh with her when she is happy, we look admiringly at our hero and wish we could take him home, we ogle at him shirtless (Imran Khan was looking way too hot without his shirt and gawd! that is way too ‘cougarish’ as he is at least a decade younger than I am, if not more. And any case, I will take his maamu over him any day).

I cannot end without a mention from a Yash Chopra film- as he is the ultimate romance magician after all- "Kahin na Kahin, koi na koi, har ek ke liye bana hai". And it is this belief that keeps us coming back for more...each time..everytime.

* Well, this was supposed to be a review for “I hate luv storys”. But I have spoken too much and about way too many things. So in a nutshell, here goes:

Watch “I hate luv storys” if you love love stories and for

a) Sonam’s winning smile (don’t care what anyone ones, she is tons prettier than Deepika Padukone)

b) Imran’s sense of humor and great bod and just coz he is Aamir’s bhanja and can do no wrong in my eyes (also don’t care what anyone ones, he is tons better than Ranbir Kapoor- though Ranbir is not bad too)

c) The songs- 'Bahara' by Rahat fateh Ali Khan- rules my iPod now

d) The awesome saris Sonam wears in the “Sadka” song. Chiffon sari with a bikini top- start of a trend here!

e) The dig at all Karan Johar movies from “Raj-Simran” at the start, all the way to a beautiful song on the Swiss Alps- oops it’s was New Zealand this time (kudos KJ for being able to laugh at yourself. I like!)

f) The chance to see magic happen once again!

So take your friend, drag your husband, or bring your daughter if she is old enough and smile with Sonam and Imram as they fall in luv.

Sex and City 2- err which city again?

2010-05-30T18:13:00.005+08:00

Spoiler alert*

SATC-2 was Hollywood’s nod to the Middle East money-loaded market. And America’s way of sucking up to the oil-rich nation. What other fathomable reason could there be for the outlandish “Abu Dhabi rocks” ad?! And it was not even bloody shot in Abu Dhabi! The barefaced plugs (did Aidan have to recite the names of the UAE States before he and Carrie kissed-SERIOUSLY!?!) would even put Bollywood-Cola and Mahi Way-YRF Films plugs to shame!

So did the Abu Dhabi government fund the filming of the entire movie? And threw in lifetime of free Botox treatments for Sarah Jessica Parker (SJP), Kim Cattrall, Kristen Davis and Cynthia Nixon?

SERIOUSLY!!? Did Michael Patrick King forget that the “City” in “Sex and the City” is New York? I want to see Fifth Avenue, Central Park, the Manhattan Skyline, Brooklyn Bridge even (hell I would rather see Brooklyn itself), Magnolia Bakery, Times Square and not Abu-bloody-Dhabi! Ok, this is nothing against Middle East or Abu Dhabi in particular. I would feel the same if the movie was based in Barcelona or Athens. New York is a big part of Sex and City- and to lose it, is cheating the fans! (Remember Season 6 when Carrie was in Paris? It was the most boring part the TV Series. And Paris is a lovely city, but it’s not THE city when it comes to SATC).

I know it’s impossible to recreate the wonders of a fabulous TV series in a 2.5 hour movie (remember X-Files the movie? That’s why I am so happy that ‘Friends’ has not been made into a movie- recipe for disaster). And hence my expectations from even SATC-1 were not very high. But as it was the first one, the excitement was there. And it did not disappoint as much as I thought it would. As there was a natural progression from the story line.

Come on! Admit it! We all wanted Carrie and Big to marry. The series ended with only them finally together (and we found out that Big’s name was John). SATC-1 also shared with us what happened further in Miranda, Samantha and Charlotte’s lives. And even SATC-1 had an out-of-New York location shoot in Mexico, but it was a natural part of the story and not the centre of it like Abu Dhabi and STAC-2.

For SATC-2, the excitement was lesser, the cast was older (coming more on that later) and the expectations non-existent.

But I was still checking for show times since a week so I could ensure I have tickets for the weekend of the release. And also made sure that my girl friends had cleared their schedules and we all made time for the movie- and in true SATC style- drinks and dinner before. It was a great evening- Riva and Manisha! :) So yes, was I ever not going to watch it? Out of the question. Would I listen to the reviews saying how terrible it was? Not really.

Excerpts from some reviews:

Among other brickbats, the Guardian's film critic Peter Bradshaw called it "misjudged and quite incredibly boring", the Times said it was "a waste of four great characters", and the New York Times thought it was "desperate, grating and a little sad". The movie has scored a pitiful 14% on the Rotten Tomatoes website film review aggregator. A user review on IMDB said- For the storyline is seems like it should be nominated for Worst Screenplay and Worst Sequel and win both Razzies.

But none of this has dented its commercial prospects – aimed at the bumper Memorial Day holiday weekend at the US box office. Influential website Deadline Hollywood reported that Sex and the City 2 took USD17m on its first day on release in the US alone, and expects to make a healthy $75m-plus for the entire five-day holiday period. It is the latest example of an ever-more prevalent phenomenon: the critic-proof movie.

And just like the Box Office, I knew my fate with SATC-2 as well- I knew I would go see it on day 2 in the cinemas. And I would not be disappointed, as I had no expectations- except to see the 4 of them together again, the great wardrobes and those sweet and funny moments.

But what was lacking was exactly that- those sweet and funny moments. There were few and far between. The loudest I heard the audience laugh was when Miranda and Charlotte were discussing how difficult motherhood is. Their frank discussion and portrayal of real mum’s thoughts was funny and sweet. But since when did the ‘SATC moments’ come from motherhood stories?! (It’s like Seattle Grace Hospital from Grey’s Anatomy suddenly becoming like a real hospital!)

The few magical moments for me were:

1) When John comes to pick Carrie from her old apartment and she voices “And then, just like that, it was 1998 again”. For that brief moment, SATC-2 took me back to the original magic

2) The reference and portrayal of the 4 friends when they first came to New York was a lovely start

3) The ‘gay wedding’ was a fun, very true to SATC style next step

4) The red carpet Samantha-Miley Curtis same-dress-near-fiasco

5) The karaoke bar scene in Abu Dhabi and the song choice- cliché, but the “best friends moment” was captured wonderfully

6) The Abu Dhabi shoe shop bazaar reference was sweet. Of course when Carrie expressed sheer amazement at the shoes that cost only $20, I wanted to invite her to Charles and Keith here.

Hey! Here’s a thought! May be STB (Singapore Tourism Board) can sponsor SATC-3? We have the IRs here now for the glamour and plenty of 20$ shoe shops too! And may be Carrie can strut on Orchard Road instead of Fifth Avenue. And Miranda can do a family vacation in USS (Universal Studios Singapore). And Charlotte can get a hot Filipino maid as her nanny! Samantha would feel at home in Orchard Towers. And all 4 of them could do brunch at PS Cafe, Dempsey or Fullerton and drinks at Aticca, Clarke Quay. There you go! SATC-3 script is done. Do not ridicule! I think that pretty much was the extent of thought that went into script of SATC-2.

On the 4 ladies:

a) The lovely, beautiful Carrie: No guy I have even known or met thinks SJP is pretty. One of them went to the extent of describing her as a ‘cross between a horse and a transvestite’. OMG! That’s brutal. But she did look very tranny-like in the scene she was getting dressed to meet Aidan for dinner and applying the ‘kajal’. And boy did age show on her face! She looked older than all of them. Sorry sweetie- think you have lost way too much weight on your face- it does look rather horsy now.

b) The sexy Samantha- losing the Samantha edge in Abu Dhabi are we? All the sexual innuendos (“I am open”-really? That was your best retort?), were so damn predictable! And one thing we do not expect from Samantha is predictability.

c) Miranda- Actually she looked the youngest of them all. And her face was the least wrinkly. Guess lesbianism agrees with her! Or I would like to know which anti-ageing product she uses. Good show girl!

d) Charlotte- She has always been the most insipid of the 4. I can’t really think of one thing to say about her that stood out. And yeah, the nanny thing is so old!

On the fashion:

I must qualify here that I am not a fashion expert. I can’t differentiate a Jimmy Choo from a Manolo Blahnik and a vintage Dior from a Valentino. I only know of these as designer names and labels and love looking at them without getting too attached, as I can’t afford a dress that costs more than my mortgage. So here is a list of my favs- but don’t expect any further info. These items made it to the list simply because I think they look awesome and oh-so-pretty!

1) Carrie’s moon and star pendant- I want!

2) Carrie’s entry shot- the fabulous white dress and the golden shades (very few people can carry off shades like that)

3) Charlotte’s white dress- image above (you now know what my favourite color when it comes to dresses is- white)

4) Carrie’s outfit when she met Aidan in the Abu Dhabi Bazaar- image above

5) The orange flowing dress Carrie wore when she was upset about her bad book review and she went for a walk on the beach. Though how can someone so short and tiny carry a flowing dress like this is beyond me. But Carrie can!

6) The necklace that the ‘young new age Abu Dhabi’ woman admired too

7) All the desert-lunch dresses except Samatha’s. I like Charlotte’s the best. The neck is simply gorgeous!

However I have to say this- the blatant “Spring-Collection- under-the-Burkha-fashion-show" was simply sad!

Parting words...

The movie missed the mark in that one aspect where the series hit a sixer (or a home run) every time- the writing. There are hardly any memorable quotes in SATC-2. Everything the ladies spouted was predictable, stale and plain old boring. Such a shame!

Will end off with some of my favourite SATC quotes- from the TV series:

“I will never be the woman with the perfect hair, who can wear white and not spill on it.” Carrie

“Are there some women put in the world just to make you feel bad about yourself?”

“It takes half the amount of time you dated someone to get over them.” Charlotte

“I'm thinking balls are to men what purses are to women. It's just a little bag, but we feel naked in public without it”. Carrie

“When Charlotte really liked somebody she said their whole name. It helped her picture their future monogrammed towels”. Carrie

“How does it happen that four such smart women have nothing to talk about but boyfriends? It's like seventh grade with bank accounts”. Miranda

“What if Prince Charming had never shown up? Would Snow White have laid in that glass box forever? Or would she have gotten up, spit out the apple, gotten a job and a health care plan and moved on with her life? I could not help but wonder inside every confident driven single woman, is there a delicate, fragile princess just waiting to be saved?”

“Why did we ever stop drinking these?” Miranda on Cosmopolitans. “Because everyone else started!” Carrie

I know how to please a man. You just give away most of your power”. Miranda

“Marriage does not guarantee a happy ending, just an ending”. Samantha

And my all time fav: “All I had to do to meet the ideal man is to give birth to him”. Miranda

* Ok, a ‘Spoiler Alert’ highlight was not really necessary, as SATC is as predictable as Singapore’s weather. But I hate to know even a bit of any movie- no matter how predictable- before I watch it. So if you are anything like me, thought it was best to caution.

Walking down the memory lane with “Fauji”

2010-05-23T00:02:00.003+08:00

While browsing around Crosswords in Juhu, Bombay, I chanced upon the DVD of ‘Fauji’- The ‘IT’ TV show of the 80s on DD (Doordarshan for the uninformed). The show was also, as most will know the launch pad of Shahrukh ‘King’ Khan. Holding the DVD in my hands bought back flood of happy memories. And I simply had to buy it. This was in Dec last year.

And I was super excited! Told everyone who would listen that I had the Fauji DVD. And everyone wanted to borrow it. And I said I would lend it, but only after I watched it. And then it lay comfortably in my DVD drawer for months. Every time I thought of watching it, I hesitated. Like it wasn’t the right time. Like there would be a momentous occasion or an auspicious day when I should start watching it. So it lay there, for months...

Until 2 weeks ago when I was quarantined at home and needed intense cheering up. It was the first time ever that I was so ill that could barely move, was not allowed to leave the house AND no one was allowed to visit! It was awful!

Hence I decided this was the time I was waiting for to crack open the DVD and do the “uthghatan” (opening ceremony). I was apprehensive! I think that was the reason I was waiting for THE moment to watch it.

Was I toying with a beautiful childhood memory? Was I trying to recreate the magic of Fauji from that time? How would the 80s DD 13 episode serial stand up to Prison Breaks and Flash Forwards of today? I was petrified of finding out! (I know it’s silly, but it felt like messing with history).

But I decided to bite the bullet and started watching. The first things that hit me:

1) The credits were in Hindi ONLY. No English. Wow! It seemed weird to read Hindi on screen. And I could not follow a word. But the pictures of the cast were shown with the Hindi titles, so I was fine.

2) The production qualities were God awful. It looked so dated.

3) Don’t think anyone at that time had heard of the terms “fashion” or “styling”. Manish Malhotra where were you?!

4) The female cast was oh-so disappointing. I mean, no offense and I am no beauty queen. But seriously! Madhu?! She was the army doctor who starred opposite SRK as one of the female leads. Her face looks like an army truck rammed into it. (OK that sounds terrible, but it is really true).

In the 80s in India, there were hosts of lovely female stars. Could none of them have been taken for the role? My favourite was Kitu Gidwani (of Airhostess fame) and the lesser know Sangeeta Handa (or Trishna fame*), Krutika Desai (of Buniyaad fame), Swaroop Sampat (of Yeh Jo Hai Zindgai fame), Kiran Juneja (again from Buniyaad). But no, we got to see Ms. Madhu Rathod (I have no idea what her real name is, as the credits were in Hindi and I need 5 mins to read one Hindi word).

5) Shahrukh Khan used to ham** even then! (Why am I not surprised?!)

Having said that, it was an absolute delight to watch Fauji again!

And it’s amazing how much stuff I still remember after all these years (but as I have mentioned in one of previous posts, 80% of my brain is filled with Hindi cinema trivia). My favourite commando was still Varun ‘I say chaps’ Chauhan. He was so handsome! And super cool!

I adored Ms. Kiran Kochar who played the aspiring journalist and the love interest of Vikram Rai, Abimanyu Rai’s i.e. SRK’s older brother. And confession time- I had a crush on Vikram Rai. I liked him more than his over-the-top younger brother Abhi. Though I will have to admit, SRK as Abhi did have some good moments. Vikram was the stern older brother, a complete opposite of his younger foolish romantic brother. I loved the equation between him and Kiran. It was so cute! Vikram played the cool stone exterior with a heart of gold persona with such finesse.

The story was predictable- juvenile commando’s life story from training school to coming of age soldiers fighting a war, interweaved love stories which would put Grey’s Anatomy to shame, etc.

The characters were stereotype:

• The serious commando Dev who is just worried about grading

• Kiran’s boss Umesh who was there to merely aid a love triangle

• The sacrificing Muslim soldier

• The fighting Bengali couple- actually they were rather funny

• Colonel Narayanan “Koi shak yaan sawal?”

All in all, it bought back lovely memories. A must-re-watch for anyone from that generation who grew up on the steady diet of DD TV shows.

A personal memory is closely linked with Fauji. It first aired on Wed 18 Jan 1989 (the info on Wikipedia is incorrect when it says 1988). Reason I know it so well is that my little baby cousin sister, Vinky was born on that day. And my other cousin Jyoti, Vinky’s sister Heena and myself had gone to the hospital to see her and thus missed the first episode of Fauji.

I know it’s a sign of age when you revel in the bygone days. But there is no greater pleasure either :)

*Trishna is THE BEST TV show in the history of Indian Television, based on Pride and Prejudice, where Sangeeta Handa played the character of Elizabeth Bennet in the form of Rekha Anand. Kitu Gidwani starred in this too and played Lydia’s character. If anyone finds a DVD of Trishna, please let me know.

** The definition of ‘ham’ per Urbandictionary.com: An incompetent actor who over plays and is incapable of subtlety. An over-actor. Well, they could have simply defined it as Shahrukh Khan instead. It would have been equally (if not more) accurate.

More about Fauji :

Fauji was about commandos joining their training school. Shahrukh Khan was Abhimanyu Rai, a bright young, but naughty trainee. His elder brother Vikram is a senior training officer, who cannot behave with any leniency towards Shahrukh. In one incident, Vikram sentences Shahrukh to a rigorous punishment, but then forgets about him. When he remembers, Shahrukh is still struggling with that punishment even as he is near collapse. He takes the army training very seriously afterwards because he had fought at home with his brother for joining army before joining the army. He was having many friends and in their military words the "friends" are called as "buddies".

Read further on: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fauji

Videos on: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xBUryt4BpMY