Date a girl who...

I am so not the one for joining the proverbial bandwagon. However the various posts by different bloggers on "date a girl who" are pretty interesting and funny.

The very first one I read was 'date a girl who reads'. Brilliantly written. And it's about girls who read. So I am naturally biased. Then there is one 'date a girl who writes'. And 'date a girl who blogs/runs/travels'. And even one 'date a girl who eats biryani'. Very true once again for me. I am the only girl I know who can tuck into a mutton biryani with gusto at 2 am. (It was after several rounds of drinks, so it was perfect valid. Necessary even). 

But hey! I digress. Google these posts if you have not read them, especially Date a girl who reads. 

So I thought of writing a post on something I love the most (besides books and food)- movies. Date a girl who watches hindi movies? But then I thought that any Indian girl who does not watch hindi movies, is so not worth knowing, forget dating.

May be its better to be more specific. Once a friend gifted me a book which was a true, sad story about plight of bar dancers in Mumbai. He said in between Yash Raj movies, girls should read such realistic books also. I reminded him that unlike most girls I watch Anurag Kashyap movies, so I need my Jane Austen fairy tales to balance things out.

That's it! My post is 'Date a girl who watches Anurag Kashyap movies'. And if you are wondering 'Anurag who', don't bother reading even a single line more.

Here goes...

Date a girl who watches Anurag Kashyap movies.  Date a girl who spends her money on original Dev D Blu ray disc, instead of pirated copies of Chennai Express. Date a girl who knows every movie ever written, produced, directed by Anurag Kashyap, who watches Black Friday  over Black. 

Find a girl who watches Anurag Kashyap movies. You know she does because Udaan songs will be under the most played songs on her iPod playlist. She's the one who understands Gulaal is not merely a Holi color, who quietly cries when she watches the last scene in Lootera. You see the weird chick standing in line to watch 'Mumbai Cutting'. That's an Anurag fan. She can never resist any of his films. 

She's the girl who gets every 80s reference possible in 'Gangs of Wasseypur'. She does not flinch at the abusive language. She does not shut her eyes when Sardar Khan gets shot. If you take a peek at her popcorn, you will find its untouched because she is totally engrossed in the movie. Lost in a world of Anurag's making. Sit down. She might give you a glare, as most girls who watch such films do not like to be interrupted. In the interval, ask her if liked the movie. Buy her another popcorn. 

Let her know what you think about Faizal and Mohsina. Ask her how she felt when Paanch was banned from release. Understand her point of view on Dev D. Ask her if she loves Paro or would like to be like her. 

It’s easy to date a girl who watches Anurag Kashyap movies. Give her his older movies for her birthday, for Christmas. Give her the gift of stories. Give her Bombay Talkies, Luck by Chance, That girl in yellow boots, the unedited version of Gangs of Wasseypur 2. Let her know that you understand that stories are life. Understand that she knows the difference between stories and reality but by god, she’s going to try to make her life a little like her favorite story. 

Girls who watch such films understand that people, like characters, develop. Except in Karan Johar tear-jerkers. 

If you find a girl who watches Anurag Kashyap movies, keep her close. When you find her up at midnight watching Udaan again, weeping, make her a cup of coffee and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the story are real, because for a while, they always are.

Date a girl who watches Anurag Kashyap movies because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most genuine life you can ever imagine. Who wont judge you when you watch the Godfather trilogy back to back with your mates. Who won't merely feign interest when you talk about world issues. Date a girl who watches Anurag Kashyap movies because she has a voice, an opinion and she won't hold it against you if yours differs from hers. 

If you can only give her Shahrukh Khan blockbusters and Ayan Mukherjee candy floss cinema, then you’re better off alone. If you want real and real lasting, date a girl who watches Anurag Kashyap movies. 

Or better yet, date a girl who watches Gulzar movies. 

Give a Litte

Life is for giving- Vedanta

We have a lot to give. We really do. For those who don't have  enough money, could have time, for those who don't have time, could have resources, for those who don't have resources could have special skills. And the ones who don't have money or time or resources or special skills, well, they are the ones who we need to give to.

Living in a bubble that is Singapore, one tends to forget that there are many unfortunate people who need our help. The expat life in Singapore comprises of condos for luxurious lifestyle, cars despite COE prices, coffee mornings with other expat mommies, credit card for branded handbags and yes, a careless attitude towards others. Don't understand why we say Singaporeans clamour after the 5 Cs (or perhaps  it's not restricted to 5 anymore).

The "real" poverty

India is home to 63% of all slum dwellers in South Asia. Coming from India poverty is stark, visible and makes to either look away or become immune to. An estimated 3 million people are homeless in Europe. And this is a stat from 2010. With the Euro crisis, this number is bound to go up. The UK has one of the highest levels of homelessness in Europe with more than 4 people per 1,000 estimated to be homeless (as at 2004). Statistics from 2007 indicate that 63% of homeless women in the UK have experienced domestic violence and 40% have been sexually abused. Homeless people there live in subway stations, on the streets and sometimes outside your favourite pub. It's all out there. It's apparent. 

And here is the shocking state of affairs in USA when it comes to wealth distribution.

 

 

 

So its understandable that expats look at Singapore as a wealthy, first world country where poverty does not exist, or its at least negligible. There is no "real poverty" here we think. The only poor strata of society are the immigrant workers and the foreign domestic helps. An average Singaporean  is well do to, has a roof over his head and a decent job. 

The real situation

Let me tell you the story of Mr. Ang. Mr Ang and his wife, both in their 40s, live in a four-room HDB flat with five children. Their ages range from eight to 23 years old. Mr Ang works as a driver, earning $800 a month (one-fourth the cost of any average designed bag I may add), while Mrs Ang is a homemaker. Four of their children are visually-impaired. Two of the oldest children attend daycare at the Singapore Association for the Visually Handicapped. But paying the daycare fees is a constant struggle for Mr Ang. While their fourth child is studying in polytechnic, the third and youngest children have behavioural issues, and are unable to pursue further education. 

Meet Wan Zaleha. For the last six years, from Mondays to Saturdays,  this 72-year-old has served as a volunteer, making tea and coffee for residents living in one-room apartments in the neighbourhood. She lives in one of the one-room apartments - which average 30 sq.m and is not employed and receives groceries worth S$70 from individual donors every month.

These above stories are true. And there are more families faced with similar (or worse) situations in Singapore. While most Singaporeans are able to benefit from Singapore’s success as a fast growing economy, there is a segment that gets left behind, living from hand to mouth, struggling to stay afloat.

A small effort by R3

On Saturday my company volunteered for "Grocery on Wheels" a food donation drive by NUSS. Bags of groceries were delivered to the less fortunate. Goods were donated by NTUC FairPrice, Nestlé and other companies. There were hundreds of volunteers packing and delivering these bags. 

At the onset it did not feel like a big deal. The groceries came in a lorry, while we went comfortably in a bus chartered by the NUSS. Seemed more like a picnic than a charity drive.

 

And because even charities need some PR angle, there were volunteers on Harleys making deliveries too!

 

However when we reached the HDB block we realised the task before us, and we understood why NUSS needs volunteers. We had 198 bags to be delivered, individually, to each house. And boy were the bags heavy! I skipped the gym that evening as my arms and legs had enough exercise for a day. 

 

 

 

 

We were advised that this is not just about delivering. We should engage with the residents, many of them live alone or don't get out of the house much due to old age. They like the human contact and we should spend some time talking to them.

And so he head off. With my colleague expert navigation skills-HDB unit numbers and floor are so confusing- we walked up and down stairs, or took elevators that stank of pee. We delivered the bags to families with 6 kids ranging from one to 12, to an old couple who took 10 minutes just to come to the door because of their ill-health. We chatted at length with an ex-police officer who lamented how once his sons got married, they have stopped looking after him. He said he was glad he still had four daughters who he was confident would not abandon him.

We met kids who opened the grocery bags with more enthusiasm than our kids open their Christmas presents. They were grateful. They thanked us profusely. And we left feeling wish we could do more.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This volunteering activity was also a great way to show our children about life on the other side of the tracks. It left them with more appreciation with all that they have.

 

All in all a Saturday morning well worth spent.

Parting words

Yes Singapore is a developed first world country. People by and large are doing well, have homes, reasonable wages. And yes there are exceedingly rich people here too- like everywhere in the world. Singapore is MUCH better off than most countries in the world. The government has done a fantastic job. No doubt.

But no matter where you live, there will always be people who have less than you. Always. You don't even have to look too far many times. You just have to open your eyes ...and your heart. 

Learn to live beyond yourself. 

I urge all my expat friends to find a cause that you can relate to, and give it your time. With kids at school and helpers at home, we surely have some time to spare. Substitute one coffee morning with an hour at an orphanage. Or one barbecue with feeding the needy. Or one shopping spree with a donation.

Give a little. And you will live a lot more. A happier healthier life filled with one thing money can't buy- blessings.

Reference- 

 

http://www.homelessworldcup.org/content/homelessness-statistics

http://www.mws.org.sg/Dispatcher?action=SocialIssueTopic&id=Sc12ce388725076

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-16920951

 

 

The value of YOU

The value of You lies in your heart, your mind and your soul. The operative word here is YOUR. Not mine, or his, or hers or theirs. Just yours. Yet we constantly use the views of others to judge and consequently value ourselves. 

People who earn more than us are quizzical about our career choices that don't rake in the moolah and suddenly we question ourself "Should I be doing something more lucrative?". Others who have made different life choices than us make us doubt about our choices even though we know in our heart and mind the reason as well as the need of our choice. Girls with killer abs make us feel conscious of our flabby bits. Guys with motorbikes and toned biceps make us wonder why our husbands/ boy friends are not more like that. Neighbours in big apartments make us look around our lovingly built home and sigh. Twentysomethings make us realise that we don't have the energy and gusto that use to.

It is not these younger, thinner, prettier, richer and more successful people who make us doubt ourselves. We do it all on our own! We revise our value depending on how other make us feel. 

An unreturned phone call means you are not loved. An ignored invite equates to you are not popular. One failed project equals you are not successful.

You need to reevaluate the value of you, by you. What makes you special, what makes you unique, what makes you desirable. YOU are the best judge of that. Not your mum, or your friend, or your child, or you ex-boyfriend, or your husband or even the love of your life ( in case the two are not mutually exclusive). 

So prepare a balance sheet of you today. On the right-hand side list your liabilities- your anger, the envy, the self-doubt, your regrets, your fears. And on the left-hand side list your assets- personality, attitude, ability to love, willingness to give, goodwill generated over the years, your dreams, your hopes. Keep on writing till your assets far outnumber your liabilities.

You don't need VC or even a CPA to evaluate you. The value of You can only be found by you. And you need to start looking on the inside. Not outside. 

Here we go again

Every smile has a story

Every story has a promise

Every promise has a beginning

Every beginning has a journey

Every journey has a path

Every path has a pitfall

Every fall has a lesson

Every lesson has a purpose

Every purpose has a point

Every point has a principle

Every principle has a conviction

Every conviction has a doubt

Every doubt has a question

Every question has a curiosity

Every curiosity has an investigation

Every investigation has a result

Every result has a destination

Every destination has a history

Every history has a tear

Every tear has a tale

A tale is another story

And here we go again...

Bus tum

Mera dil ka tukda ho

Mere jism ki rawani ho

Meri muskurahat ka prateek ho

Meri chahat ki kahani ho.

Meri dhadkano ka geet ho

Meri arzoo ki pukar ho

Meri nadi ka kinara ho

Meri mausamo ki bahar ho.

Chavi ho tum meri

Sayaa ho tum mera

Tum he dekhke niklein

Mere jeevan ka har savera.

Tumhari nazaron mein doobein

Meri jeevan ki har shaam

Nasha ho tum mera

Ho mera pehla….aur aakhri jaam.

Pyaar ho mera tum

Jaan ho tum meri

Zindagi tum bin

Hai ek uljhi hui peheli.

Mere haathon ki lakeer ho

Mere aakhon ki masti ho

Mere pyaar ka ahsaas ho

Meri zindagi ki hasti ho.

Happy Fathers Day

Only with dads...

- You are in your late 30s and are still treated like you are 3- in a lovely pampering way.

- You will be picked up and dropped off when you go to meet your friends who are also in their 30s. You comply because you know he cares.

- You can be selfishly demanding and you know every demand will be met. With a smile or shrug. 

- You are adored more than anyone else in the world. Yes. More than the wife and the grandchild. Though it would not be admitted in public of course. But you know. And he knows you know.

- No one will ever be considered good enough to look after you. 

- You will always be the little princess.

My dad is the only person in the world who cares for me without asking for anything in return. He is protective without restricting, loving without demonstrating, compassionate without pitying and caring without controlling.

He still packs my bags when I travel. Takes me to the doctor when I down with a simple cold. Fixes the light bulbs in my apartment. Buys my favorite walnut cup cake when he is at the bakery. And indulges my every whim.

He is patient with my impatience. Sweet with curtness. And empowering with my fears. He still believes I am capable of anything. He is terribly proud of my independence in every aspect of my life, whilst still retaining certain dependence on him.

He foolishly thinks I am still as pretty and cute as when I was 2. And look as young as I did when I was 12. 

He continues to spoil me. And I enjoy every bit of it.

I love you papa. There can no one who will take care of me like you do.

Happy Fathers Day

You will always stay with me

In pages of old books

In stolen glances and shy looks

In brazen moves

And flirty moods

You will always stay with me

In jugs of sangria

And various random memorabilia

In 70s Hindi blockbusters

And Britannia's caramel custard

You will always stay with me

In cloudless skies

And deeply taken sighs

In the balmy night breezes

And hug tight squeezes

You will always stay with me

In Dragons and Thrones

And Philosopher's  Stone

In Inception-led dreams

And Fight Club screams

You will always stay with me

In lazy long lunches

And champagne brunches

In glasses of wine

And the never ending times

You will always stay with me

In various shades of grey

And the teasing and play

In the long-lasting embraces

And the loving sweet caresses

You will always stay with me

No matter where you go

Whether you love me or no

Whether you leave or you stay

In every night and each day

You will always stay with me