I have always believed that people’s lives converge for a reason. Sometimes it’s an obvious one, however many times the ‘AHA’ moment comes years
later. Then it suddenly dawns upon you “So that is the reason why the Universe
made our paths cross!”
I have known Sheetal for nearly 20 years of which majority
of the time, rather unfortunately, we were not in touch. I moved out of India
within the first few years of knowing her and during my trips back over the
years, we met on some occasions, but not all.
And then the link snapped. Sheetal was my ‘friend my marriage’
i.e. she was my husband’s childhood friend. When my marriage came to an end, I
felt it would be hypocritical to keep my friends by marriage. I felt it was
unfair to put them on a spot or make them feel compelled to pick a side. So I
withdrew. And I would've stayed that way had it not been for another lovely
person, Namrata, who took it upon herself to reconnect. When she was in Singapore
a few months ago, she called me. So simple. It’s almost inexcusable that none
of us did it sooner.
We met. We spoke. We shared our life stories. It was like no
time had passed. Let alone over five years. It was so amazing! Namrata told me
that Sheetal and the other friends still thought of me but were afraid that I wanted
nothing to do with them. I was shocked! I explained how I thought that they
would not have wanted to stay in touch with me. Oh the time lost in this fruitless
misconception!
Namrata reintroduced me to Sheetal and over the last few
months we were in touch very regularly. Thanks to Facebook and WhatsApp we were
aware of the various moments in each other’s lives. I saw her kid’s photos. She
commented on my son’s pictures. I observed the things that annoyed her. She
noticed when I was disappointed. We discovered things we had in common that we
had not known before. Like our love for writing and books. Our challenges as
single mums bought us closer. Our desire to breakthrough and pen new chapters
of our life stories was apparent. Except Sheetal will not have a chance to
complete her story. It has been halted midway leaving us all bereft and utterly
devastated.
We had decided to meet when I would be in Bombay in December
and were debating whether it should be over coffee, lunch or perhaps a girl’s
night out. I remember saying “I really don’t care. I just can’t wait to see you
all!” And now I won’t. The truth knocked me in the stomach so violently that I physically felt
sick.
My last contact with Sheetal was earlier this week when she
messaged me on my birthday. I received over a hundred wishes that day. However
I was obsessing about that one who forgot. In that state of mind, I replied to
Sheetal’s message with a banal thank you. I feel so ashamed and distraught that
I missed my last chance of having a conversation with her! And now I never can!
Sheetal was a kindred spirit whose smile enthralled all who
came in her present. Her eyes always shined, almost luminous and one could not
help but feel joy when around her.
None of us have seen heaven, but I fervently hope (for my
sake, as much as yours) that it looks like this.
You had once mentioned that you
wanted to visit this book store. I wish you are there now, in spirit, if not in
flesh.
A rustling leaf, a silent breeze,
A humming bird, a bumble bee,
Will remind me that you are around
A river bend, a tidal wave,
A mountain peak, a musty cave
Will remind me that obstacles must be faced
A pink rose, a white veil
Blushing cheeks, a fairy tale
Will remind me that love exists
A throaty laugh, sweet sounding chimes
A whistling tune, a forgotten rhyme
Will remind me that you can hear us
A temple bell, a silent prayer
An unspoken blessing, an angel somewhere
Will remind me that life is fragile
You will be the inspiration
To count my blessings daily
You will be my reason
To live my life fully
Rest in peace my dearest
You will be missed… and you cannot even imagine how much.
