What crappy 2016 taught this

1) We live in a digital bubble

Our friends on social media are similar to us, their friends are similar to them and thus making our immediate and extended social circle in the digital world not too different from us. Thus we believe what is being shared, liked, discussed on our Facebook posts and Twitter feeds to be the way the rest of the world should think, worse behave. Hence Trump winning the elections came as a shock to so many of us. We voiced our support for Hillary unequivocally, expressed aghast on Trump's opinions loudly and rallied our views on social media (without any voting power whatsoever) truly believing it would make a difference. 


We forgot to look at the real world i.e. 90% of people who live outside our digital bubble whose issues are different from ours, whose views are radically apart, the ones who voted Trump to power. We could not fathom this turn of events and many of us are still reeling from the after shocks.

We all need to understand that there is a world outside the digital bubble we've built for ourselves and our friends and their friend's friends don't make up the all of the real world. 

2) Sharing on social does jackshit

Changing your profile picture to represent LBGT colors, adding the national flag to your DP, posting and re-posting pictures and news articles about Paris attacks and Syrian refugees does not make you an instrument of change. You are a sympathetic observer at best, an armchair activist at worst. 

I am not dissing social media or its users. I am leveraging it too to share my views. But time comes when we need to step up to take action and move out of the Facebook walls. 

What did any of us actually DO to affect change on miseries that 2016 bought on the world? Jackshit! 

Instead of having our fingers fly on our keyboard to lambaste the next atrocity, we can keep away our devices and using our hands and heads to affect change. It can be as simple as volunteering at a soup kitchen or a random act of kindness towards a stranger. Hell, start by being kinder to the Uber the driver who turns up late or show more compassion to your household help.





3) Believing everything we read on our smart phones is not smart

For any world event from Brexit in Europe to Demonitization in India, there are not only several views, but multiple 'facts'. It's almost impossible to distinguish what is accurate and what is misrepresentation. 

The problem of 'fake news' is ironically real and even Mark Zuckerberg is finding it hard to deal with it. Fake news leads to real profits. And these fake new sites stand a chance to make lots of money by providing false information and using channels like Facebook to make it go viral. While both Facebook and Google have taken steps to block many such sites, there are still several corrective measures needed before this issue goes away. 

So next time you want to forward that video, post that saucy news article, stop and have a think. Who exactly is benefiting from your this? Besides making you sound like a pseudo intellectual and providing social currency to trade for likes and comments, you are really doing anything.

4) We live in terrible times

Which show no signs of abating. Why would anyone drive a truck through a Christmas market in Berlin? Or open fire in a night club in Orlando? What sick perverse people and organizations think and act in such heinous manner? I cannot for the life of me understand. But what is clear is that this is the world we are living in. And while we can't change things at a macro level and find solutions to Syrian refuge crisis or ISIS, we can do much more on a micro level.

We can exhibit more tolerance. Tolerance towards to people who look different from us, who talk a strange language, who pray to different God. We need to start seeing more oneness in each other irrespective of race, religion, color, caste or what us urban elite are usually guilty of, class. 

We can teach our children to rise above these differences, to stand up to any form of bullying, to become color blind, religion agnostic and class tolerant. We need to deliberately curb any ill feelings while having an open conversation with our kids, so they are better prepared to face the challenging times we live in today.

5) We gotta have faith, faith , faith

In the eternal words (though taken a bit out of context here) of the legendary George Michael who 2016 took from us along with several other stalwarts, we gotta have faith.

Faith that despite the craziness around us, we can still rely on each other. Isn't the sharing economy of Airbnb stays and Uber pool rides testament to that?  

Faith that we all can modify a bit if not change completely in these trying times. 

Faith that we are just one tiny spoke in the hub and we need to each do our part to keep things moving.

Faith that there is a beautiful world outside social media which we need to relate to more. With that am getting off my iPad and heading out for a morning walk.

Happy new year folks! 

Money, Money, Money

The other day I was introduced to a term I had not heard before-VUCA. The world today is apparently in a VUCA state. Not wanting to let on that I had no clue what my colleague was referring to, I waited to get away from him so I could google the meaning. VUCA stands for Volatile, Uncertain (or was it Unpredictable?), Complex and Ambiguous. Basically we are sitting on  volcano that is waiting to erupt soon, but the exact timing is uncertain and it would lead to some ambiguous complexity or complex ambiguity. I was advised by my colleague that life in time of VUCA was to be lived with utmost caution and  methodical calculations. We needed to be prepared for the VUCA!

Just a few days later I was scolded by a friend for being too naive about the future. I was earning too little, not saving enough and spending disproportionately to my income. I needed to 'get serious', 'live in the real world' and 'get out of my la-la land'. I took the criticism rather harshly, though it did have some element of truth in it. So in the spirit of always learning and because it was a VUCA world, I decided to introspect.

Lessons from Self-Reflection

1) Easy Come Easy Go- that is the relationship that Money and I have always shared. I have had to live on an income that would be considered below poverty line by professional urban folks where I have written cheques that have bounced because my account had insufficient funds. A concept that I was alien to until that moment. And then there have been times where I have spent without a care on lavish travels and bought clothes and shoes like they were going to be rationed the next day.

On both occasions the lack or the excess of money mattered little to me. It was a matter of fact. I don't have enough to pay for groceries, I will stop eating out. I have more than enough after all my obligatory expenses, I will splurge.

In hindi there is a saying "Paisa haath ka mel hota hai". Loosely translated it means "Money is like dust on your hands". It comes, it goes.

2) Six digit credit card limit- Yeah that's want banks think I am worthy of. It can be intoxicating, but I feel I am rather grounded. Plastic to me is convenience, and bills are always paid in full, on time. Unfortunately for my bank, I am not a revolving credit chic.

That does not mean however I don't overspend on my card. This happens often when I travel. As money spent in foreign land is not an expense. It's an investment that ensures you are having a holiday of a lifetime. I won't be going back to Paris anytime soon, so the holiday needs to be maximized. Simple logic.

3) Coffee, cakes and wines- If I cut these from my diet, I would cut calories and credit card bills. But then how empty would life be?

4) 6 month or 12 month?- It's year end! While I look at my expense-income excel sheet (yes I religiously enter my expenses  and calculate my meager savings), most of my friends are banking their bonus cheques. Bonus- A concept practically unheard of in the advertising world. No stash at year end to invest, pay bulk of the home mortgage or even keep aside for a rainy day. Which only makes it even more important to stretch the monthly salary. Note to self. Save more. Spend less.

5) Beyond Dreams- I just got back from Lonavala, and my parents and I spotted a hotel we had vacationed in years ago- Sayadhari Resort. I had forgotten how simple our holidays used to be, not to mention the choice of destinations. My last short vacation- I take at least two short and one long vacation a year, not including my annual Bombay pilgrimage- was in Phuket, where we got upgraded to a room with a private pool which overlooked the ocean. A far cry from Sayadhari Resort rooms.

I thank God regularly for giving me much more than I had ever imagined. I did not think I could afford buying my own place or take fancy holidays without support from someone else. And here I am. Some believe that if you don't dream big enough, you will always be satisfied with the little you have, never realizing how much more you could get.

Which brings me to the external question. How much is enough? And who decides its enough?

I believe you can have unlimited money. You just need to have the hunger, be reasonably smart and not care about the other valuable currency- time. Money can be earned and multiplied if you give it time. Time to work extra hours, time to study the investment options, time to accelerate your career.

Time is what we have limited of. A day only has 24 hours. A year only has 365 days. And the time you have left in this world could be one second or fifty years. No one knows.

So between money and time- and yes it all boils down to this choice- I choose time.

I choose to take up a part time job and learn considerably less so I have more time with Sanil.

I choose to take a vacation to see my old friends because I don't know if I, or they, would be around when I finally come around to planning that trip in the future.

I choose to enjoy the present instead of constantly worrying about the future.

Yes I may be naive, silly even. And may be I live in an Alice styled wonderland. But I take books over bonuses, surprises over stocks, art over assets (unless the art is the asset), babies over bank accounts and time over everything else.

My prudent friends would say that I don't have the required ammo to face the VUCA. And may be I don't. May be I will struggle more than others, may be I will fail, may be I will realize my folly.

But if money does really make the world go around, don't you still need the time to go along on that merry ride?

Here's wishing you my version of the VUCA new year- Vibrant, Understanding, Caring and Adventurous. Happy 2014 folks!

For Myself

I have been told that I have an NGO mentality (Non-Government/Voluntary/Charity Organization for the uninformed). I am much kinder and compassionate to others then I am to myself. I feel others pain to the extent it brings tears to my eyes. I go out of my way to make them feel better, to help them- in whatever little way I can. My phone is like Akhbar's Darbar, where no request went unheard. I reply to every SMS, I return every call, I answer to every ask- and some times when its not even asked.

These are unselfish deeds, but the slight selfish part to them is that they make me feel good. It gives me immense pleasure knowing that I have helped someone, given then something they enjoy, looked after them when they needed it, was the shoulder to cry on, or simply the ear to listen to. I am happy that I am the chosen one when someone is in need. I hardly ever expect anything in return. Its purely because I like to help people. If life were a 70s movie I would be the union leader who fights for the rights of the workers.

I never felt there is anything wrong in this, but this New Year I resolve to add one more person to the list- MYSELF.

• I resolve to not to be as harsh on myself
• I resolve to be kinder to myself
• I resolve to let things go (this one will take a while) :)
• I resolve to focus on myself
• I resolve to live in the present
• I resolve to surrender to God
• I resolve to not control every aspect of my life
• I resolve to look inwards
• I resolve to improve myself
• I resolve to heal myself
• I resolve to spend time with myself
• I resolve to feel happy by my myself
• I resolve to simply be

For everyone who I love, I promise I will always be there for you. You know where to reach me and you know I will return your call/SMS/whatsapp/BBM/email/FB email.

I will give you what YOU SAY YOU NEED. Not what I THINK YOU NEED. (even though sometimes I know latter is right) ;)

Gandhi said "Be the change you want to see in the world". I want to see a more peaceful world. I have always believed in the 'Live and Let Live' philosophy, which is only attainable when everyone is at peace with themselves.

I resolve to find at least some  of that inner peace- if Kung Fu Panda could do it, I think I have a chance too!

Happy New Year Folks!

In 2011 I resolve to....

1) Lose weight and have a toned body- This is a default choice every year. And one that is toughest to keep. So here's hoping this year will be different...

2) Do it differently- Definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result each time. So here is to doing things differently this year and getting unexpected and desired results

3) Focus on the task and not the result- Karm kar, phal ki chinta na kar

4) Good Karmas rule- And this includes good thoughts too. Here is to remembering this when my mind is playing visual images of immediate annihilation for some people and things

5) Give people a chance- And have faith that they will see how right you are ;)

6) Keep the faith- And the belief, even when evidence points to the contrary

7) Believe more- In Krishna, in yourself and in the good of human kind

8) Be good- In deed, in thought and in spirit

9) Beckon the spirits- The non-alcoholic kind... and be more spiritual and zen-like

10) Stay zen-calm- NO MATTER WHAT (okie, that's a very tall order for me and even harder than resolution No.1). So aim to do it more often than in 2010

Here is wishing everyone a happy new year. May 2011 be everything 2010 desired to be but fell short of. And the good things that came to you in 2010, may they come back ten-fold in 2011!

New Year’s eve – it’s a numbers game

There are many New Years- depending on which calendar you follow. Most Hindus celebrate the next day of Diwali as the New Year. For Tamil’s there is Pongol, for Maloos there is Onam, for Maharashtrians there is Gudi Padwa, for Sindhis there is Chaiti Chand, for Parsis there is Navjot. And if you get out of the religious sphere, there are New Years based on the academic year- again varies which school/curriculum you follow. For many it tends to be June or Aug. And then there is financial New Year which again depending on where you work it could be Jan, or March, or I don’t know when.

So what’s this obsession about 31 Dec? I doubt many of us celebrate our religious New Years with half as much gusto as we do on 31 Dec. When in fact, 31 Dec is simply the calendar New Year (and the Roman calendar, the Hindu calendar follows a whole different set of dates). The date on the calendar changes. (And as when I was in school it felt that the only thing that changed was that number I wrote on top of my books). Nothing else really changes. It’s a numerical difference.

So again what’s the fuss about 31 Dec?

One of my sisters thinks it’s probably a legit excuse to get drunk. Some of my friends say it’s just another excuse to PAAARTTYYYY! Some others believe why over think- everyone is celebrating, just join the fun.

All of the above would be cool had there been no social pressure (or self-inflicted pressure) to make this night special. It’s one more marketing hype that we can do away with. (and let me remind you here, I work in advertising. People like me generate such hype. Am sure my karma bank is reeling under all this hype I am instrumental in creating. Ok digressing again...)

It’s a numerical difference. And therein per me, lies in the answer. As humans we need to quantify everything- the number of years one has lived, the price tag on the designer bag, the number of Michelin stars a restaurant has, there %/rank you scored in your exams, the number of rooms you have in your home and the list goes on.


Because we have a need to quantify everything, 31 Dec has significance. The next day, the number changes. From 2009 we are moving to 2010. The number has changed. It MUST denote something big. Let’s celebrate! Yoohoo!!

Celebrate, drink, have a party, have fun- but there is no need to wait for 31 Dec to do it. The build up is purely unnecessary. Celebrate life with people who you love and people who love you. It’s that simple. Celebrate whenever you have slightest excuse- and trust me, if you open your eyes to look, you shall find many.

So this New Year’s eve I am going out with my friends:

- To get drunk- YES
- To party- YES
- To flaunt my new LBD- YES
- To have a whale of a time- YES AGAIN

But it will only be special because it’s with these special friends. The number is completely immaterial.

Wish you all a very happy New Year. Live each day as if it were 31 Dec! (and no it does not mean you can get drunk everyday!)