A small tribute to Gulzar saab

Kaafi choti thi main, jab ‘choti si kahani’ suna tha

Tape recprder hote they us zamane mein

Aur ‘rewind’ button bahut istamal hota tha

1988 ka saal tha, aur Aamir Khan ne meri zindagi mein kadam rakha

Lekin tab bhi…aur ab bhi… ‘papa kehte hain’ se zyada achcha

‘mera kuch samaan’ lagta tha

 

Filmein jo thi meri padaish ke pehlein ki

Lekin choo jaati mukhe kuch aise

Jaise, mujhse salah karke kahani sajayi ho

1973 ki ‘Aandhi, 1982 mein ‘Angoor’

Ek ne aise rula diya, dooji kabhi sakte nahin bhool

Bambai mein ghar khojne ki takleef

Sirf ‘Do deewane shahar mein’ aur Gulzarji hi shabdon mein utar sakte

‘Tum he ho na ho, mujhko to, itna yakeen hai’ jaise bol

Jo ek dil ki kashmakash ko bayaan karte hain

Unke siwa aur kaun likh sakta hai?

Umar thi dus, jab ‘tujhse naaraz nahin zindagi’

Aur us bachche ki masoom aakhon ne mujhe chua tha

‘Dil toh bachcha hai ji’..27 saal kyon na guzarein ho?

 

Kis ne socha tha ki ‘chaddi aur phool’,

aur ‘beedi’ aur ‘jigar’ ek hi vakaya mein rehkar

Itne achche lag saktein hain?

Tab samundar ki leheron ka shor hota tha

Aur kuch kuch traffic ki awaaz

Mere kamre mein jhoole pe behetkar

Sunti thi main Gulzar saab ke saaz

Tere bina zindagi se shikwa toh zaroor hoti

Kyonki meri zindagi Gulzarji ke bina kuch kum hoti

I AM A MOTHER

I live to give, I breathe to love

I rule with a smile, I cast fear by silence

I care with the heart, I teach with the mind

I AM A MOTHER

My instincts are razor sharp, my intentions as pure as the rivers

My speeches are long, my voice louder than thunder

My hugs are tight, my kisses much too frequent

I AM A MOTHER

I find short cuts, while still walking the extra mile

I play, I get played

I am a sounding board, I am the voice of reason

I AM A MOTHER

I question, I probe, I demand, I insist

I relent, I agree, I accede, I succumb

I fight, I persevere, I succeed and yes...I fail

I AM A MOTHER

I laugh aloud, I cry quietly, alone

I give wholeheartedly, I seldom take

I feed the body, I nourish the soul

I AM A MOTHER

I desire to be noticed, I enjoy the gratitude

I love spontaneous hugs and big grins

I do have a life beyond you, but you are still at the centre of it all

I AM A MOTHER

I grow old and take on new roles

You grow older and vigorously seek new ones

I see you thrive, I watch you flourish

Even if it’s not in front of my eyes

I AM A MOTHER

Yes I grow old, but I never age.

I AM ALWAYS A MOTHER

Mera Shehar

A poem written in Aug 1998...13 years ago about my beloved city Bombay

Woh elco ki pani puri, woh chowpatty ki chaat,
Woh Naturals ki ice cream, Wah usme thi kuch baat.

Woh tewari ki mithai, woh raste ka dosa,
Woh shivsagar ki pav bhaji aur Guru Kripa ka samosa.

Woh local train ka ‘suffer’, woh juhu beach ki hawa,
Woh chowpatty ke tange aur Joggers Park ka sama.

Woh December ki zara si sardi, woh baarishon ke mahine,
Woh garmi ki chuttiyan, jab chute te they paseene.

Woh holi ki masti, woh navratri ka garba,
Woh divali ke patakhe aur ganpati ka shor o sharaba.

Woh peak hours ki traffic, woh BEST ki rush,
Woh tadapti garmi mien, Snowmans ka ek kala khatta slush.

Woh Juhu beach ka mohol, woh samunder ki leheren,
Woh doobte suraj ka nazara, Wah uske kya kehene.

Woh Sterling ka pop corn aur Cotton World mein shopping,
Woh Fashion Street ka nazara aur Nariman Point ki buildings.

Woh cinema ke queue, woh black ki tickets,
Woh Shivaji Park ka maidan, jahan bachche practice karte hain cricket.

Itni cheezen kehene ke baad, aur kitni karoon mein badaee,
Yeh shehar hain mera apna, jiska naam hai MUMBAI !!!!!!!!

Facing our fears

What is your biggest fear? Fear of losing your life? Fear of losing someone you love? Fear of losing your job? Fear of losing your beauty? Fear of losing your wealth? Fear of losing your youth? Fear of losing out to your competitor? Fear of losing face?

Human being's biggest fear is the fear of losing.

Yes there are things we fear too- snakes (my biggest one), darkness, closed spaces, etc.

And then there are people who instill fear in us. When we think of them, we feel a cold chill. People we don't have the courage to stand up against.

But if you probe deeper, you will realise that its still fear of losing. Losing our dignity, losing our honor, losing our confidence, losing our self worth. And these are bigger losses than jobs, money and fortune.

The only way to deal with these fears is to face them squarely. Looking at them straight in the eye. And not flinching even if voices (or hands) are raised.

Because bullies should simply not be feared. As they are biggest cowards themselves.

What we need to lose is the fear. And the tears.

What can't be won by love, can be conquered by courage. Courage to face our own demons- the ones that live inside us. And the ones who walk the earth.

As I add another year to my life today, I pray for courage to overcome my fears.

I would have been less off...

...had I not had Jagjit Singh in my life. I can’t remember when and where I started listening to his ghazals. But it would be when I was just about to enter my teens. And it started as always when it comes to me, with Hindi movies. I heard Raj Kiran sing “Tum itna jo muskara rahe ho” to Shabana. It’s Shabana’s tears I remember most from the scene and a hauntingly beautiful voice signing the most amazing lyrics.

Girls dream of prince charmings, knight in shining armours (or shining Ferrari) and the tall dark handsome men. My dream harboured a man who could sing soulful melodies like these to me. And it was start of a never ending love affair.

When most girls looked forward to that Chayageet episode where the latest Sanjay Dutt or Anil Kapoor song would be shown, I was the happiest when I could watch Raj Babbar sing ‘Hotton se choo lo tum’ to Anita Raj- the two actors I never liked, but could watch that song umpteen times.

I went on to discover his non-filmy ghazals. The unforgettable ‘kagaz ki kashti’, which I spent hours listening to each and every line so I could note it down in my book. This was the age before you could simply google lyrics. And I had to write it down as I wanted to memorize every line of the song. My favourite line still remains “Na duniya ka ghum tha, na rishton ke bandhan, badi khoobsurat thi woh zindagani”.

My favourite Jagjit-Chitra ghazal is ‘Us mod se shuru karein hum phir yeh zindagi’. The lyrics capture the tensions of a long term relationship that has lost its love. Note the words- ‘Ashkon ki chandni se thi, bhethar woh dhoop hi...us mod se shuru karein, hum phir yeh zindagi...har shay jahan haseen thi, hum tume they ajnabee’.

Saath-Saath figures in my blog as one of the Top 10 Love stories. It’s a poignantly beautiful story and Jagjit’s ghazals play a big part in that. Everyone would remember ‘Tum ko dekha toh yeh khayal aaya’- undoubtedly one his best work ever, but my favourite ghazal from that film was ‘Pyaar mujhse... jo kiya tumne.. toh kya paaogi’. Farookh Sheikh sings this ghazal in a college function where he trying to get Deepti Naval to forget him as she will have hard life if she stays with him.

Amitabh had sung a song in a similar vein to Rakhi in yet another college function- ‘Mein pal do pal ka shayar hoon’ (not a Jagjit ghazal). So after Kabhi Kabhi and Saath Saath, I longed for a poet in my life. In fact many years later when I read Vikram Seth’s ‘A Suitable Boy’ I cried when the lead character Lata did not marry Amit the poet. I was so upset with her and I had to remind myself that she was a fictional character, as, sadly, was he.

Jagjit Singh’s ghazals set the tone and pace of my life. I hate loud and fast music. I don’t enjoy instrumental music- its feels incomplete without the words. The soulful nature of my musical preferences as my romantic views in life, are all colored by the magic of his songs. The old-world charm, the misty-eyed look, the unrequited love, the whisper of sweet nothings and every other cliché in the book, all of these made a big mark on my impressionable young mind. And its years of practice since then, which I find very difficult to break now J

Jagjit Singh also opened the world of ghazals for me. In marketing terms, he built the category. I went on to enjoy Talat Aziz, Pankaj Udhaas- though why most his songs always had alcohol references, I never understood then. But as I grew older the meanings became clearer.

Jagjitji has so many beautiful ghazals but the one I can watch over and over again is “Hosh waalon ko khabar kya” from Sarfarosh. The love of my life Aamir with Jagjitji’s voice- wah! And the innocence of Aamir and Sonali is so well captured- something you don’t get to see much these days.

Few other works worth mentioning here are:

Badi nazook hai yeh manzil...from Jogger’s Park (side bar- I had a crush on Victor Banerjee from Kalyug days. And I thought he was adorable in this movie too)

Jaag ke kaati sari raina... a semi-classical rendition from the film Leela- a pretentious movie, but it had Dimple Kapadia and she is a treat to watch no matter how bad the film is

Kis ka chera ab mein dekhoon with the dashing Milind Soman

And Sham se aankh mein nami si hain... a ghazal with a music video- a popular trend in the 90s to make non-filmTop 10 Love Stories songs more commercial. Jimmy Shergil looks so sweet and Simone Singh so young. The words are by Gulzar- “Waqt rehta nahin kahin tik kar... is ki aadat bhi aadmi si hai”. Sigh... Gulzar saab is the only man above 50 who I would marry in a heartbeat if he ever asks me. Yes the poet hangover still reigns supreme.

Today I went back to my old CDs which were forgotten with the advent of iPod. And I found some old Jagjit Singh ones. Discovered a gem of an album called ‘Koi Baat Chale’ with the amazing combination of Jagjit and Gulzar.

Good bye Jagjitji. Rest in peace. Meet your son in heaven and even there spread the joy with your lovely voice.

What about me? I will be listening to your songs till the day I meet you in heaven...provided I reach there. If not, I will have rely on my iPod in hell, but you will never leave my side :)

When was the last time you…

·         Got drenched in the rain and did not mind it at all

·         Sang your favourite song aloud without bring drunk

·         Did something outrageous which makes you blush even thinking about it

·         Went sailing

·         Swan in the ocean

·         Spoke on the phone with your best for over an hour

·         Felt so loved by your child that it brought tears to your eyes

·         Read a book that you simply could not put down

·         Prayed for someone else besides your own family

·         Relived your childhood by spending an afternoon with your brother or sister

·         Had a long lost song stuck in your head and had to download it and listen to it at least 5 times and it sounded better each time

·         Got a phone call from a loved one that made you whoop up in joy at their good news

·         Saw a handsome stranger and you did a double take

·         And he saw you do that…and gave you the once over

·         Took a bubble bath

·         Slept on the train and missed your station

·         Thought of something funny and laughed aloud on the street…when you were alone…

·         Cut class to watch a movie…better still…skipped a meeting to do the same

·         Sat on your window watching the rain fall

·         Took a nice long afternoon nap

·         Went for a walk with your partner and held hands all through the way

·         Watched a film that made your eyes misty

·         Took an unplanned spontaneous holiday

·         Stopped and lend a stranger a helping hand or a friendly smile

I know life is good as I have done almost all of the things on the list above at least once in the last two months. If you haven’t, start today. It will make your heart smile. That’s a guarantee.

Born in the wrong era

Few weeks ago I took my parents to watch to “Black and White”- a show which screened songs from black and white Hindi movies i.e. ‘The Golden Era’ while some young talented singers sang them live on stage. There was a great MC who provided fun facts and trivia about cinema and music from that time.

It was an awesome experience! The songs ranged from Ashok Kumar’s time to Shammi Kapoor’s. Kishore Kumar’s ‘Mein hoon jhoom jhoom jhoom jhoom jhuoomru’, Hemant Kumar’s ‘Hai apna dil to awara’, ‘Hum aapki aankhon mein’ by Rafi...it was a treat for senses. Not only you could hear melodious voices of these young aspiring singers but you could see the black and white visuals on the screen. It was one of the loveliest evenings I had spent in a long time.

And for once in life, I was the youngest person there!

The average age would have been at least 50 if not more. But I have never felt more at home. I knew pretty much every lyric of every song that was sung plus the names of the stars, the singers, etc. It felt like I completely and truly belonged there.

I got my love for old movie songs from my parents. Doordarshan- the whole and sole of Indian TV at the time when I was growing up- bought us Chayageet and Chitrahar. This commenced my education in black and white songs. I used to watch with my parents and dad would recite anecdotes related to the films or some interesting trivia, and I lapped it all up. Strangely, I have not watched many old films- I should rectify that soon. But old songs are a big part of who I am.

Kishore Kumar is GOD. There is no denying that. My dad tells me when I was 3 years old my 2 favorite songs were from Chalti Ka Naam Gaadi- ‘Paanch rupiya bara aana’ and ‘Ek ladki bheegi bhaagi si’. I used sing them all the time and I loved watching them whenever I got the opportunity mainly because seeing Madhubala was always a pleasure! She is the most beautiful woman ever- sorry Ash...I know officially the title belongs to you, but no  one can compare to Madhubala.

But as I grew older, I discovered the magic of Hemant Kumar. ‘Tum pukar lo’ from Khamoshi- Waheeda never looked better, ‘Yeh nayan dare dare’ from Kohraa (picturized on Biswajit who lived in my building, and kinda ruined this song for me), ‘Yaad kiya dil ne kahan ho tum’ with Lata, ‘Na tum hamen jaano’ composed by the legendary S D Burman.

From all the old black and white actors, my all time favourite has been Dev Anand. The lopsided smile always did it for me! The song I like the most of all is from Hum Duno- Abhi Na Jao Chhod Kar Ke Dil Abhi Bhara Nahin by the great Mohd Rafi  and Asha Bhosle (one the THE most versatile and passionate singers that Indian cinema has given us).

I can never choose been the 2 sisters- Lata’s voice is the kind that comes once in a lifetime. There will be no one like her. One of my favorite black and white Lata songs is ‘Lag ja gale’ from ‘Woh kaun thi’- a fabulous mystery thriller picturised on the stunning Sadhna.

Dev Anand had some of the best romantic numbers ever. Whether it was the naughty ‘Chod do aanchal, zamana kya kahega’ or the lovely ‘Dil ka bhanwar kare pukar’, which from this fabulous movie called ‘Tere ghar ke samane’ where Dev Anand plays an architect. (And for those of you who follow this blog, will know it’s the sexiest profession of all in my eyes). In fact all the songs from this movie between Dev Anand and Nutan were classics. ‘Ek ghar banoonga tere ghar ke samne, duniya basaonga tere ghar ke samne’ and ‘Tu kahan yeh bata’. Sigh! Those were the days and those were the men.

After watching that show, I was on a trip of old songs for a week at least. And it got me thinking- I am born in the wrong era!

I love black and white songs more than colored ones.

I would much rather listen to Lata than to Shreya

Classic novels trump modern day books hands down

Jane Austen rules, like of Marian Keyes and Sophie Kinesella will merely be one-time beach reads

History was my favourite subject in school. I still know more Indian freedom struggle and World War 2 than I know about the world economy

In fact I am convinced I was a freedom fighter in my last birth and gave up my life for my country. Yeah ok, it may sound rather corny and twisted to most of you, but it’s the only explanation for my fiercely patriotic nature. I can so imagine myself in a white cotton sari in a mukti adolan sabha. But I think I would be the more Subhash Chandra Bose Azad Hind Fauj soldier rather than Gandhiji’s satyagraha champion.

I love old historic forts and could spend hours walking around. I still appreciate a patola silk sari more than a sheer ‘evening cocktail’ chiffon one.

OK, I must admit the modern day conveniences are the only thing going for this era. On every other count the black and white period rules!

If only I could spend a day in that era...and have Hemant Kumar sing ‘Beqarar karke hamen yun na jayiyen’, I would be in heaven! (I think it is one of THE most sensuous songs of that times). And then I could sing back ‘Tera mera pyaar amar’. Actually on second thoughts, I might drop the singing back thing from my little fantasy...as yesterday someone requested me rather politely to ‘never ever sing, as you really can’t’. Sigh! There ends another fantasy...though it does explain a lot of things, like the weird stares I get on the bus when I am singing to my radio. Apologies to anyone who has been offended by tone deaf singing...but then again, if I hear ‘Leke pehla pehla pyaar, bharke aakhon mein khumar, jaado nagri se aaya hai koi jadugar’...I just have to sing it out aloud ;)