Were we in the same relationship? A Short Story

A love story in a woman's Facebook updates and a man's thoughts.

Spoiler alert: This is a love story between Raj and Simran but it's completely unlike the original. With the exception of the character names, nothing is as it should be.

Simran- 10 July: Were we in the same relationship???

Raj- 10 July: she did mean it. I don't get it? Thought we both wanted similar things. It was so good, why did she want to break up? I miss her...

Raj- 30 June: she has announced that we have 'officially broken up'. That does not mean its permanent right? Am sure she will come around....

Simran- 30 June: is heartbroken...

Raj- 29 June: we were clearly not on the same page when about 'taking it slow'. Why can't this be simple? We meet occasionally, have fun, go on with our lives...why these expectations of an ideal relationship? It's frustrating

Simran- 29 June: feeling stupid! Nothing changes...pattern continues...

Raj- 23 June: good talk. Explained to her that we should take it slow...feeling positive...

Simran- 22 June: had a good 'moving forward' talk...feeling positive...

Simran- 21 June: why do men come back when you pull away? And stay away when you come forward? Men are complicated creatures! 

Raj- 21 June: wow! She was serious about the goodbye. This does suck! I don't want her to leave. I want her. Now. 

Raj- 19 June: why do girls need closure for every situation? What's with farewells and good byes? Why can't we just take this easy and chill a bit? Why so serious? 

Simran- 19 June: it's goodbye time....tearing up...

Simran- 12 June: trying to reclaim my old life

Raj- 8 June: communication actually works. Why haven't I thought of this before? She has backed off and now I can finally breathe

Simran- 6 June: if you love someone you would give them the time and space they need, right? 

Raj- 5 June: damn! She wants to 'talk'. Why delay the inevitable? Will tell her what I think.

Simran- 5 June: gearing up for the dreaded 'talk'

Raj- 4 June: May be I should tell her I am feeling stifled...but she would have got my hints right?

Simran- 30 May: watching 'He's just not that into you'...again...story of my life! Without the happy ending...

Raj- 29 May: why can't she understand that I need some space? Am trying to back off and have given enough hints

Simran- 29 May: AWOL for a week...getting tired of this...

Raj- 22 May: that should buy me at least a week of peace

Simran- 22 May: whisking me off from office in middle of the day to a wine bar. Soft kisses and long embraces. What a lovely surprise date!

Raj- 18 May: and here we go again. The needy tone. Gets rather annoying.

Simran- 18 May: he's behaving like old landline phones that always have a busy signal

Simran- 15 May: is learning to be at peace with herself

Raj- 11 May: how could she think I would not call? I missed her! She ought go know that I would miss her?

Simran- 11 May: he had called! Dad forgot to me the message. Twice. But who cares?? He called...and was miffed that I didn't call back. Likes this feeling of being missed ;)

Raj- 9 May: how long was she going to be away? Seems rather long. And she has not even bothered to call. May be I will call. Am missing her.

Simran- 3 May: being teased by sisters about new bf (who has not called). Sad beyond words :(

Raj- 2 May: no one expecting me to be anywhere. This is good. Am going to sleep all day and drink all night. Let's hope Karan's wife is out of town. A weekend with mates is long overdue.

Simran- 30 April: off for ten days holiday to see my family! Super excited! 

Simran- 26 April: hard to get. A game I never learned to play. Too late for an old dog to learn new tricks?

Raj- 26 April: she acts like she does not care, but if I choose to spend the weekend with my mates she gets all passive aggressive. Jeez...don't have time for this. 

Simran- 24 April: came across this book 'Why men love bitches'. So have to read it! And apply its teachings...

Raj- 22 April- did she notice when I eyed the girl in the figure hugging dress?  

Simran- 22 April: one can't be on the roller coaster forever right? Every relationship moves to the merry-go-round stage no?

Simran- 21 April: thinks she melts too easily

Raj- 21 April: she is giving me such a cold shoulder. A guy can forget can't he? Flowers? Nah. Flowers means admitting to a mistake. Will give her a surprise visit after work and take her for a quiet dinner. That should do the trick. 

Simran- 20 April: a day out with my girlfriends....just what I need...cheered up immensely

Simran- 19 April: is shocked at being stood up!

Raj- 19 April: forgot about Adam's farewell. She will understand. Shit! Did I tell her I can't go over tonight? Rather late now. She should be cool.

Simran- 16 April: first weekend apart...missing him sorely...heartache :(

Raj- 11 April: looking forward to Phuket conference. Need some time apart.

Simran- 10 April: impromptu lunch date. Feeling lightheaded. Blame the Prosecco. 

Raj- 10 April: can't focus on work. Just want to see her. I actually miss her. WTF is wrong with me? 

Simran- 6 April: is feeling invincible! four glorious days! A lovely, romantic n passionate holiday. Silly princess, nonsense curse, stupid legend! 

Raj- 5 April: great holiday. The Booze, the company, the sex, the food, the sex, the sex...

Simran- 3 April: kyon ki tum hi ho...haan tum hi ho...

Raj- 31 March: she's obsessing over some silly curse. It's going to take a lot more for us to be apart. Must reassure her.

Simran- 31 March: Ok so who all have heard about the legend of Bali being break-up island for unmarried couples???? And why I am the only one who has never hears of this?? Will be stupid to cancel an all expense paid holiday...but should we tempt fate??

Raj- 30 March- she does jump onto to things very quickly. Now she has gone ahead and booked tickets to Bali. She is refusing to let me pay them. Have never really had such a generous and rather fuss-free girlfriend before.

Simran- 30 March: booked a holiday to Bali. First vacation together! Excited beyond words...

Simran- 28 March: what does "I am so into you" really mean?? Obsessing again....

Raj- 28 March- have this urge to whisk her off to an island. Just the two of us. Lots of sex. May be on the beach...but it's not just that. Kinda in love with her. Kinda only. 

Simran- 27 March: in his arms, by the ocean, with a bottle of champagne and bags of chips. Bliss!

Raj- 27 March- she is rather easy to please. Did not even have to buy her an expensive dinner. She is so content with simple things. It's kinda simplistic, but adorable. 

Simran- 26 March: "You are a homely girl" errrrr is that a compliment or a brush off??

Simran- 25 March: surreptitiously holding hands under the table when with a bunch of friends and quietly mouthing 'are you ok?'...it feels tons better than a banal sorry

Raj- 25 March: she is really hurt. I don't like leaving things like that with her. She's simply too sweet and I can't bear to see her sad.

Simran- 24 March: and there it is! Our first fight. Wonder if we will survive it??

Raj- 24 March: F@!? Have no patience for tantrums! She is getting too demanding. I don't have to spend every weekend with her do I? What's with these expectations?

Simran- 24 March: he got a doze of my temper! Bet he is still reeling from it! 

Simran- 22 March: a homing device that gets him back to me no matter the time...is that a good thing? Or am I being taken for granted??

Raj- 22 March: I want to see her. It's past midnight. Too late to call? Will she think its a booty call? It is partly that. But it's also that I want sleep with her in my arms. WTH! Will just ring the doorbell. Something tells me she will open the door

Simran- 20 March: is super pissed!!

Raj- 20 March: has been great hanging out with the guys. I missed this. Why haven't I done it for so long? Simran is taking up a bit too much of my time. 

Simran- 19 March: how do you relate to someone who does not get your TV show references? 

Simran- 18 March: ...all your perfect imperfections...

Simran- 16 March: meat was not enough...wine as more than..everyone got along splendidly...I call it a successful BBQ 

Raj- 15 March- her friends are pretty cool. And they all seem to adore her. Why does the tall guy look at me menacingly? I will put my arms around her waist to piss him off. There! His scowl just deepened. Where are the chicken tikkas? 

Simran- 15 March: is feeling a nervous teenager. Will my friends like him? 

Raj- 12 March: if once more she reminds me about her friends BBQ... I will have to ask her to take it easy. I don't know why it's all such a big deal? 

Simran- 11 March: when day dreams are like floating on a cloud....and night dreams are like falling from a cliff...

Simran- 8 March: do the words 'I love you' count when said in a drunken state? Obsessing big time on the authenticity of the three little words...

Raj- 7 March: Simran I love you. Did I say that aloud or just think that? Think it's the latter. But who the hell remembers after the umpteenth tequila shot? 

Simran- 6 March: thinks she has received the seal of approval. Gloating smile! :)

Raj- 5 March: it was cute to see her nervous. And even a little guarded. Didi was so sweet to her. Think she wanted to jump up and down as this is the first time I had got a girl home to meet her. 

Simran- 5 March: invited for dinner at his sister's...should be afraid at things moving so fast....instead stressing over what to wear

Simran- 4 March: kebabs and whiskey?! Gawd! How 'dalhi' can anyone be!

Raj- 4 March: you can take a girl out of Bombay...but...she will still prefer pau bhaji to dal makhani. Sigh! 

Simran- 4 March: loves long soft kisses....especially when they are in the embrace of long, strong arms

Raj- 3 March: introduced her to my friend. He was rather baffled. First chic I have ever introduced him to in awhile. They seemed to take to each other. Perhaps a little too much. Must talk with him. She is my girlfriend after all. Damn! Don't think I have ever thought of her like that before.

Simran- 1 March: Shaadi ke side-effects as the first movie watched together. What a crap film! Will he ever call back? 

Simran- 28 Feb: 3 stars of the chicken curry, 5 stars for the effort. A man who cooks....sexy beyond words...

Raj 27 Feb: Friday night and I wanted to have a night in. Seldom happens. Ended up watching old hindi film with her head nested in my lap. It strangely felt very nice. 

Simran- 26 Feb: so this is what a whirlwind romance feels....it's just like in the rom-coms :)))

Raj- 22 Feb: can't believe we are meeting almost everyday. I am not usually like this with other girls. What's so special about her? I love the fact that I can talk to her about anything. And how she nods when she listens. And how she strokes my arm when I am not in a good mood. And when she cooks my favourite food even without me asking. And just how she makes me feel..not had this feeling for a long time. It might just be what others call happiness

Simran- 21 Feb: Me- wearing a long white dress
He- "Why are you dressed like a character from a Bronte?"
Me (in my head)- He quotes Bronte! Shoot! He was probably making fun of me...but who cares? He quotes Bronte!

Raj- 19 Feb: loves how she calls me 'aap' and when she says my name in soft tones when I am kissing her neck

Simran- 18 Feb: wonders if you can you downgrade someone from an 'aap' to a 'tum'?

Raj 14 Feb: am I forgetting something today? 

Simran- 14 Feb: is trying not to read too much into not receiving flowers at work

Raj 12 Feb: four times in one night. This is freaking awesome. She is freaking awesome. And so so so sexy. Especially in the black lace lingerie...well...here we go again 

Simran- 12 Feb: yes it's better in the morning!

Raj- 10 Feb: Tumko dekha toh yeh khayal aaya

Simran- 8 Feb: and he has the most appropriate Hindi movie dialogues for the right moments. Have I hit the jackpot this time?

Raj- 6 Feb: I can always make her laugh. And when she doesn't, I just want to try harder. Her face lights up when she smiles. Her eyes twinkle. And when she throws her head back, I can catch a glimpse of her cleavage...and then I forget about the laughter

Simran- 6 Feb: always knew the anti-establishment guy is the one for her

Simran- 3 Feb: an Indian man who does the dishes. Have I stumbled upon a unicorn??

Raj- 3 Feb: think she is suitably impressed. I was a true gentleman. She makes me want to be one. I can't possibly be falling for someone this soon. Let me go out for beer with friends to shake this feeling off.

Simran- 2 Feb: is seriously considering breaking the third date rule...

Raj- 2 Feb: hates Cosmo and their stupid rules!!

Simran- 2 Feb: a stay at home second date? Don't diss it till you try it...

Raj- 2 Feb: so excited to see her again...to kiss her again...to hold her again...and who knows...may be a lot more?

Simran- 31 Jan: Gong Xi Fa Cai. The year of the horse is off to a galloping start!

Raj- 29 Jan: can't believe I had to go home alone. But only makes me want her more. Have not had such a great time in the longest time

Simran- 29 Jan: what do you call a first date that starts at 7 pm, ends at 2 am and then both individuals go to their own homes? MAGIC that's what!

Raj- 28 Jan: she has expensive taste in wine, but she is exquisite! And so so sexy...I want her so bad...

Simran- 28 Jan: checked in at Level 33, MBFC Tower 1. Wonders if the view was always this good? Or is it the charming company? 

Raj- 27 Jan: why is she being so elusive?  Damn! I really want to see her

Simran- 26 Jan: discovered she likes being pursued...butterflies in the tummy...there goes the empowered woman notion...

Raj- 25 Jan: she is busy again today? WTF! May be she is not interested? Nah! Just need to chase harder...

Raj- 24 Jan: she is playing hard to get. Need to turn on the charm

Simran- 24 Jan: is confused when a man calls as he said he would. Is he not from this earth?

Raj- 22 Jan: it's been six hours...is it too soon to call? Who cares? I can't wait to see her again.

Raj- 22 Jan: she has a nice ass and pretty face. Fun to talk to. Feeling something...

Simran- 22 Jan: shared cab with an exciting stranger. This so never happens to me!

Tears from the heart

A wounded heart that cries no more
Doe-like eyes that tear up daily
A silent spectator, the astute mind
Entreats the value of forgetting

But forgetting is something the heart can't
And eyes, even when closed have your picture trapped
The fingers grope the empty bed every night
The feet has so much more space under the duvet

Even my shadow feels so lonely
When it sees it's hand not holding yours
Tears fall and the heart aches
Or sometimes the tears ache and the heart falls
From a cliff...in slow motion....

The mind intervenes yet again
Stop...stop..stop... it implores
'There will be others. Love is not lost'

But the eyes look baffled
And the heart is confounded
What does 'others' mean?
And love IS truly gone
It may exist in the world outside
But it's missing from the heart
A hollow ache remains
Where you once resided

'You are being silly' scolds the mind
'End of one relationship is not end of the world
There are friendly ties and family bonds
There are movies and books and parties galore'

But my eyes just crave your sight
My skin simply desires your touch
My ears ache for your sweet nothing's
And the mouth longs for your lips
Even my nose is bereft without your scent

No one else can fill this void
Not for awhile at least
May be someday
But that day is not today

Are you truly free?

India celebrated its Independence Day yesterday. It's the day British gave the reign of India into Indian hands. Indians got their freedom. We became our own rulers. We opted for a democratic form of government on the principles of secularism and equality. 

Over the last 67 years we have come a long way. I am not going to list our accomplishments as there are too many to state and am sure you know about all of them. However even I am not naive or patriotic enough to deny that there are too many grave issues that still plague this so called great nation of hours. Infrastructure, cleanliness and women's safety are paramount in my opinion. As these form the basis of any civilized society. 

But there is no denying that Indians are free today. We are free to:

- Follow the religion of our choice, at our place of worship, with our community, celebrating our festivals
- To speak our minds without having to register at a speakers corner
- To travel to most parts of the country without the threat of being in midst of a civil war
- To have access to technology and uncensored information that enables us to learn and grow
- To be entrepreneurial and pursue a vocation of our choice whether it's a bar dancer or a doctor
- To think big. To aspire. To dream. And have tremendous opportunities to make it all come true

It's the freedom such as above that we take for granted as we have always had it. Freedom is one of the values that is recognized only when it's taken away from you. 

Question is what are YOU doing with this freedom? 

- Are you using it put others down in the name of religion?
- Or to constantly complain about issues and 'participate' in TV debates without actually taking simple steps towards change?
- Or to separate ourselves from each other on the basis of our language and state?
- May be utilizing technology to becoming more selfish  and self glorifying? 
- Are you really capitalizing on this freedom when you are chained to a desk for a job you despise?
- Are you merely at the beck and call of every materialistic acquisition which you feel will make your life fuller?

Our forefathers fought and died to give us a free nation. Yet today we are trapped in the world of our own making. A world where connections are more important than connecting. Where we have jobs but no passion. Passion but no love. Love but only on our terms. We have big houses and smaller hearts. Gourmet meals but low appetites. Exotic travels but no discovery. Penthouses with panoramic views but a tunneled vision. Lesser kids and even lesser time for them. We are surrounded by treasured objected but disposable people. We exist, but do we really live? 

As India struggles with its innumerable problems at multiple levels, you can do one of two things. Get involved and make a difference to our country's future. Or simply change yourself for the better. The freedom that you believe you have complete entitlement over, put it to some good use. Improve yourself by looking beyond your restrictive view of yourself and your immediate family. Take small steps towards your own growth. If we all do the same India will be taken care of by itself.

As Mahatma Gandhi said "Be the change you want to see in the world".

Jai Hind! 

A child's plea

Give me the gift of stories
Present me the power of dreams
Grant me the blessing of imagination 
Mother then you'll see me succeed

Don't tell me what to fear
Stop me from fleeing away
Don't wrap me up in cotton wool
And mother see me play

Forget about tomorrow
The present is so much more
Let's live in the here and now
Then mother watch me soar

Let us begin to be confidantes
The ones who comfort and care
Let us share our secrets
Tell me one mother, can you dare?

Watch me blossom
Watch me bloom
Join me in my triumphs
Hold me in my doom

I am no longer frail
I am small no more
Treat me like you would a friend
And mother watch me grow

Karmic Entanglements

It's said that any person who crosses paths with us, however brief or passing the meeting is- has a past karmic connection with us.

Think back to random strangers you have encountered who uplifted your day in some manner. A funny cabbie who made you laugh when you were getting antsy about the traffic jam. A generous bus passenger who bought you a ticket when you were grappling for change. The lady in the grocery store who let you get ahead in line when you were struggling with your toddler in the trolley. The cute guy who sent you the drink at the bar. The teacher who made you look at History differently. Each of these occurrences were fated. Every person was one you were meant to meet. 

Then what about the people who burst into our lives as a gust of joy and then leave behind a torrent of tears? Who make fairy tales come alive and then forget that there should be a happily ever after. Whose smiles turn our world around and whose pain stops the same world. Who give us wings, then clip them. Who clasp our hands tightly, then let go of them effortlessly. Who forget about the love that once existed and now lies lifeless.

Is there some karmic debt that we owed them? Was this a payback of some sort? 

Or is that they came into our life to remind us that nothing lasts forever. To make us realise that we should relish the present, without setting expectations for the future. To show us that short-lived happiness of the past does not mean long-lasting pain in the present. To warn us that both joy and sorrow have a shelf life. 

The perhaps come into our lives to fill it with what was missing. And once we have that, they release us  to embrace other experiences. May be they are meant to teach us to be brave. Brave enough to put ourselves out there and brave enough to deal with disappointment of sometimes being alone there. 

Our paths perhaps cross to remind us the greatest truth of all. We need to set people free. We have to let go. Release them for their next adventure. Bid them adieu on their journey. Because ultimately they too, like us, are seeking. And if we don't let them go, we are keeping  away from our destinies. 

It's terribly scary. There will be constant doubts. Temptation to call them back will be rampant. Desire to hold on to them tightly will be intense. 

But only in setting them free can we be free ourselves. Free from fear. Free from expectations. Free from skepticism. Free from being stifled. 

So imagine you are holding a helium balloon string. Open up your fingers slowly. Release the balloon in to the open skies. Look up. Watch it soar. Run behind it for awhile if you really need to. But once it disappears from sight, close your eyes, open your arms and welcome the freedom. The freedom to let other magical things happen to you.

6 word stories. Vol 1

Life beyond heartbreak. Love beyond life.

Child's cry. Mum's dream. Shattered night.

Lost his job. Found his passion.

She was heartbroken. He was guilt-ridden.

Red stilettos. Red lipstick. Black eye.

Fake boobs. Plastic face. Real smile. 

Speedy car. Yuppie driver. Dead girlfriend.

Grey tombstone. Fresh flowers. Stolen kisses.

Kitchen knife. Opened wound. Woman scorned.

Always a mum. Never a wife.

Makeup sex. Pillow talk. Dreamless slumber.

Gained degree. Lost wisdom. Hoodwinked success.

Blonde Scientist. Redhead Accountant. Brunette Model.

Jilted at altar. Reclaimed at morgue. 

Love lost. Memories revisited. Truth revealed.

Fairy Tale Jargon

Prince - an imaginary creature who is handsome, brave, chivalrous, charming and rich

Castle - Prison

Fairy Godmother - Girlfriends

Ball gown - Cocktail dress

Evil witches - Mother-in-laws

Once upon a time - This happened to my friend

Fire-breathing dragons - Bitchy colleagues

White horse - Orange Lamborghini 

Enchanted sleep - Afternoon nap (with no kids at home)

Dwarf - Lord Tyrion

Balls - Girls night out

Evil step sisters - Mean girls from high school/ Ladies at kitty party

The One - The one of many

Frogs - Dates

True love's kiss - Hopefully-this-is-true-love's kiss

Happily ever after - Illusion

Qualifier- I am a hopeless romantic. I adore fairy tales and am a sucker for love stories. Over the years I may have become a lot more cynical and skeptical. But all it's takes is seeing a couple walk hand in hand in the grocery store smiling at each other, to make me melt. I am the most the naive person I know. Naive enough to still believe in true love. I am surrounded with couples who embody it, which keeps the faith alive. Though every once in awhile I roll my eyes and question it all. This post is a product of one such time. And also because I love being flippant and making people smile with my writing :)