Looking back at childhood

Nostalgia comes in various forms. Sometimes it's a gradual and lovely stroll down the memory lane. This usually happens when you are pouring over old photo albums, or meeting a childhood friend after awhile or reminiscing growing up with your siblings or cousins.

At other times nostalgia has a fucking weird way of smacking you right out of nowhere. I was sitting by my condo poolside today and saw some little girls play with a skipping rope. I did not realize kids these days still skipped rope. And suddenly I had this gush of memories engulf me. I immediately picked my phone and messaged my closest childhood friend who I have not seen or spoken to in last five years.

And when she said that she misses me and I replied that I think of her very often too, I started tearing up. Now as crying alone by the pool side with an empty glass of wine on the table was simply not an option, I decided to pen my nostalgic thoughts. And of course by 'pen' I mean fly my fingers on the iPad touch screen keyboard.

For God knows what reason we played on the staircase on the third floor of our building. Two of my best friends lived on the 3rd. We each got our toys to the staircase which comprised of tea sets, miniature kitchen utensils, adhoc dolls (we never grew up with gorgeous Barbies and their fancy accessories) and other random stuff like beads, mums old costume jewelry, etc. It was a weird ensemble of toys and knick-knacks, but we knew better than to ask for more. Our parents did not given into our demands as easily as we do nowadays. Yet we were content. Almost blissful.

We rode bikes, they were rusty and most of the time borrowed. We played games like sankli, kho-kho and lagori (which iPad auto corrects to algorithm). I was never the sporty one, but my friend Monika always made sure I was picked in her team so I would not feel left out. We played till the sun went down and the moon came up and our mums yelled from the windows for us to come up for dinner. 

As we grew up we went for walks to the beach or around the building. We sat on the 'tanky' (water tank) and gossiped about everyone who walked by. And when we wanted some privacy we went up to our secret spot on the terrace- by far still one of my most favorite places in the whole wide world.

We ate street food everyday during the holidays- roadside sandwich, bhel puri, dosa with suspicious looking white chutney. But we could never tell our mums that we would skip dinner. 

During summer holidays we went swimming at Juhu gym and ate chicken club sandwich after. We would the leisurely walk back but never go home. We would get end up in another friends house and simply continue playing, chatting, giggling. 

Our parents didn't keep tabs on us. As long as we were home by 8 pm, there were no questions. A minute later and it would be completely a different conversation.

Friends covered each other's back. No matter what. "Yes Aunty, she was with me all the time" was recited in utmost sincerity, even though the friend in question was actually holding hands with the boy from the next building for the past one hour. 

We grew up with one channel on TV and one TV in the house. We learnt to share. 

There was one phone line for the longest time. We learnt to exchange hellos with our parents and siblings friends.

Family dinner meant eating with the family. On the same table. And usually a friend who decided to stay as her mum was not home or just because she fancied mums dahi vadas. We learnt to open our homes to others.

Picnics meant an entourage of 8 or 10 Marutis and Fiats and food enough to feed an army. My favorite picnic food till date is aloo-puri. We learnt to accommodate each other's preferences.

Movies were watched in big groups in front of a small TV. We got chips and Thums up when mums were in a good mood. We learnt to bond over the frivolous. 

Holi meant the whole building would get together and have fun. We learnt to party! 

Diwali meant visiting pretty much every relative alive and each house in the building. We learnt to give our time to others. 

Friends siblings were treated like your siblings, unless they were of the opposite gender, appropriate number of years older and you had a crush on them. We learnt to protect and be protected. 

They were times when rainy season meant paper boats and summer days meant kala ghatta golas. When joys were sought in the little and shared with many. When life was lived in carefree abandon. Where the biggest worry was...well there were no big worries. When laughter filled the air and loved filled the senses. When you cared enough that when decades later you missed your childhood friends, you knew they have been missing you right back! 

It's ironic that we better understand the value of the childhood we've had only when we are older. Because when we were growing up, we never gave a seconds thought to growing old. 

Complete. Delete.

Two to tango

Good things come in pairs they say. Oreos and milk. Coffee and cake. Sun and sea. Movies and popcorn. Sunglasses and hats. No one actually says 'sunglasses and hat', but they are two of my favorite accessories which I think look fantastic together. 

Since childhood we have been introduced to pairs. Mum and Dad. King and Queen. Princess and Knight. In fact most Hindu Gods are a team too- Shiva and Parvati. Ram and Seeta. Krishna and Radha*. The concept of a pair is deeply ingrained in our psyche. 

I had tears rolling down my cheeks when I heard Tom Cruise mouth "You complete me" to Renée Zellweger in Jerry Maguire. I thought they are one of most romantic words ever. To find someone with whom you feel complete. Without whom you are merely a part of your true self. Someone who fills up the missing bits in you.

It's a beautiful, romantic concept is it not?

Now flip this over.

After removing the rose tinted glasses, you realize that this basically means that for a major part of your life (or may be even all your life) you will be incomplete. Either you will be looking for your soulmate. Or you may be with someone who smothers instead of completes you. 

So you are going through your life, being only half of yourself. You are unable to enjoy experiences fully, as you are merely a part of your whole self. And you can start really living your life fully, only after you have found the proverbial better half.

It's an insane, messed up concept is it not? 

To believe, or not to believe, that's the question

Recently many of my lifelong beliefs are being challenged. By knowledge. By intellect. Sometimes by simple logic.

It's said its difficult to find happiness within ourselves. And it's impossible to find it outside. So if happiness resides in us, and we can reach down and discover it, why would we need anyone outside to complete us? 

Worth a thought isn't it?

 I feel like I have lived a whole lifetime in this last few years

I faced challenges I thought I would never need to deal with. I experienced pleasures I never thought existed. Friends I had known for over a decade turned away and did not stand by me when I needed them most. People who had not even been in my life before then, are my closest friends now.

There were times I thought I could not go any further. There were moments when I felt at the top of the world. There were occasions when I cried myself to sleep for days at a stretch. There were times when joy would simply not leave my side. 

In each of these firsts and every high and low moment, I felt whole. I did not need anyone to complete me. Yes there were times when I wished I could share the exhilarations. Or have some take away some of my worries.  But it was a temporary feeling. It came. It taunted me. I dwelt on it for while, sometimes more than necessary. But ultimately, that feeling went away. 

Leaving me alone...yet complete...

No one needs anyone to complete them. If you feel you are not a whole person, look inwards  and find the missing bits. Because rest assured, if you can't fill those gaps, no one else will be able to either. 

Life will always be a mixed bag. We all get what we deserve- the good and the bad. We just need to keep looking forward and moving ahead. One foot before the other. While keeping our eyes and heart open and savouring every moment that comes our way.

So whether you have a Valentine or you are alone, try and be complete by yourself. It not easy to go against what rom-coms teach us, but we sure can try! And today is day as good as any. 

* Krishna and Radha are purported to have the eternal, everlasting love. However they were never married. Krishna was married to Rukhmani and Radha to Anay. It's amazing how a culture which actively promotes marriages, actually worships the embodiment of true love...outside the  realms of marriage.

Money, Money, Money

The other day I was introduced to a term I had not heard before-VUCA. The world today is apparently in a VUCA state. Not wanting to let on that I had no clue what my colleague was referring to, I waited to get away from him so I could google the meaning. VUCA stands for Volatile, Uncertain (or was it Unpredictable?), Complex and Ambiguous. Basically we are sitting on  volcano that is waiting to erupt soon, but the exact timing is uncertain and it would lead to some ambiguous complexity or complex ambiguity. I was advised by my colleague that life in time of VUCA was to be lived with utmost caution and  methodical calculations. We needed to be prepared for the VUCA!

Just a few days later I was scolded by a friend for being too naive about the future. I was earning too little, not saving enough and spending disproportionately to my income. I needed to 'get serious', 'live in the real world' and 'get out of my la-la land'. I took the criticism rather harshly, though it did have some element of truth in it. So in the spirit of always learning and because it was a VUCA world, I decided to introspect.

Lessons from Self-Reflection

1) Easy Come Easy Go- that is the relationship that Money and I have always shared. I have had to live on an income that would be considered below poverty line by professional urban folks where I have written cheques that have bounced because my account had insufficient funds. A concept that I was alien to until that moment. And then there have been times where I have spent without a care on lavish travels and bought clothes and shoes like they were going to be rationed the next day.

On both occasions the lack or the excess of money mattered little to me. It was a matter of fact. I don't have enough to pay for groceries, I will stop eating out. I have more than enough after all my obligatory expenses, I will splurge.

In hindi there is a saying "Paisa haath ka mel hota hai". Loosely translated it means "Money is like dust on your hands". It comes, it goes.

2) Six digit credit card limit- Yeah that's want banks think I am worthy of. It can be intoxicating, but I feel I am rather grounded. Plastic to me is convenience, and bills are always paid in full, on time. Unfortunately for my bank, I am not a revolving credit chic.

That does not mean however I don't overspend on my card. This happens often when I travel. As money spent in foreign land is not an expense. It's an investment that ensures you are having a holiday of a lifetime. I won't be going back to Paris anytime soon, so the holiday needs to be maximized. Simple logic.

3) Coffee, cakes and wines- If I cut these from my diet, I would cut calories and credit card bills. But then how empty would life be?

4) 6 month or 12 month?- It's year end! While I look at my expense-income excel sheet (yes I religiously enter my expenses  and calculate my meager savings), most of my friends are banking their bonus cheques. Bonus- A concept practically unheard of in the advertising world. No stash at year end to invest, pay bulk of the home mortgage or even keep aside for a rainy day. Which only makes it even more important to stretch the monthly salary. Note to self. Save more. Spend less.

5) Beyond Dreams- I just got back from Lonavala, and my parents and I spotted a hotel we had vacationed in years ago- Sayadhari Resort. I had forgotten how simple our holidays used to be, not to mention the choice of destinations. My last short vacation- I take at least two short and one long vacation a year, not including my annual Bombay pilgrimage- was in Phuket, where we got upgraded to a room with a private pool which overlooked the ocean. A far cry from Sayadhari Resort rooms.

I thank God regularly for giving me much more than I had ever imagined. I did not think I could afford buying my own place or take fancy holidays without support from someone else. And here I am. Some believe that if you don't dream big enough, you will always be satisfied with the little you have, never realizing how much more you could get.

Which brings me to the external question. How much is enough? And who decides its enough?

I believe you can have unlimited money. You just need to have the hunger, be reasonably smart and not care about the other valuable currency- time. Money can be earned and multiplied if you give it time. Time to work extra hours, time to study the investment options, time to accelerate your career.

Time is what we have limited of. A day only has 24 hours. A year only has 365 days. And the time you have left in this world could be one second or fifty years. No one knows.

So between money and time- and yes it all boils down to this choice- I choose time.

I choose to take up a part time job and learn considerably less so I have more time with Sanil.

I choose to take a vacation to see my old friends because I don't know if I, or they, would be around when I finally come around to planning that trip in the future.

I choose to enjoy the present instead of constantly worrying about the future.

Yes I may be naive, silly even. And may be I live in an Alice styled wonderland. But I take books over bonuses, surprises over stocks, art over assets (unless the art is the asset), babies over bank accounts and time over everything else.

My prudent friends would say that I don't have the required ammo to face the VUCA. And may be I don't. May be I will struggle more than others, may be I will fail, may be I will realize my folly.

But if money does really make the world go around, don't you still need the time to go along on that merry ride?

Here's wishing you my version of the VUCA new year- Vibrant, Understanding, Caring and Adventurous. Happy 2014 folks!

Books that changed my life

Is there anything more promising than flipping over the first page of a new book? The rustle of the fresh paper. The smell of the print. The quick peak to the last chapter, and immediate retraction. Re-reading the back flap. Checking out the list of other books by the author. It all holds such promise. Promise of hours of pleasure.

Is there anything more fated than picking up an old book at a second hand store and it becoming one of your favorites? The dog-ears that greet you. The yellow in the pages. The wonder at how many other people would have touched and been touched by the book.

Is there anything more delightful than picking up a random book in the library without knowing anything about the book or the author? And then discovering the sheer joy the book gives you. Recommending it to all those who you know will appreciate it. Buying the book so you have it in your collection after you have returned the library copy.

Is there a more intuitive salesperson than the one who looks at the books in your basket and confidently recommends one that you will love? 

Is there a truer friend than the one who knows the kind of books you like and gifts them to you on your birthday?

Is there a more faithful partner than the one who knows you enough to gift you a book you would never pick up, but will definitely enjoy? 

Is there anything more wonderful than a book that changes your life?

The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand (1943)

I read Fountainhead when I was 16 or 17. When I read it again almost two decades later, I was amazed at the fact that I understood the concepts in the book when I was mere teenager. It's tough to comprehend all the messages in the book even now, but the key ones always stayed with me. And they shaped a lot of my world views in the years to come.

The simplicity of Howard Roark's philosophy about work was what made it profound. It all boiled down to you must love your work. And you must do it with utmost integrity and unmatched passion. No compromises. Too idealistic you ask? Perhaps so. But it's what I have always strived for, even if not always achieved.

It was because of Fountainhead that I got fascinated with Architecture. Being terrible at both math and design, I would never qualify to make it my profession. My secret hope always has been to find a partner who is an architect- just like Roark. Roark even won the title of my Dream Man vying it away other fictitious characters, even as illustrious as Mr. Darcy himself.

Aamir Khan spoke about this same philosophy about choosing a career that you have a passion for in the movie 3 Idiots- which came many years later. Subconsciously I had been following it since I first 'met' Roark. Growing up in the 80s in India, academically bright students like me used to opt for either medicine or engineering. I refused to even consider science as a stream. I opted for Commerce and Economics even though my inclination was towards Art. Guess practicality won over idealism there. For my Masters, when majority clamored towards bank and consultancy roles, I preferred marketing as a career. Highly disappointed that I didn't get a job in marketing, I chose advertising, or rather advertising chose me. And here I still am. I love everything about this industry- the creativity, the passion, the irreverence, the eclectic mix of people. I have learned so much and have gained so many beautiful experiences...but that's a story for another time. Or perhaps a book :)

As it's said "Love your work and you will not need to work a single day of your life". 

Encapsulated beautifully by Ayn Rand in Roark's quote:

“But you see," said Roark quietly, "I have, let’s say, sixty years to live. Most of that time will be spent working. I’ve chosen the work I want to do. If I find no joy in it, then I’m only condemning myself to sixty years of torture. And I can find the joy only if I do my work in the best way possible to me. But the best is a matter of standards—and I set my own standards. I inherit nothing. I stand at the end of no tradition. I may, perhaps, stand at the beginning of one.” 

Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen (1813)

How much do I love thee? Let me count the ways. 


I love thee for giving the world a story which became the foundation of almost every

other love story since. I love thee for introducing me to Mr. Darcy. A man who single handedly is responsible for all my romantic illusions, or you could call them delusions. I love thee for glimpses of innocent love in form of Jane and Bingley. I love thee for making me understand the naively and silliness of Lydia when I was her age. But most of all I love thee for bringing Elizabeth Bennett in my life. There has never been a heroine I have felt more connected to. How could a character be written so fabulously that women 200 years later find themselves in her? It is amazing power of words. And magic of Austen.

 
Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett (1989)

A historic fiction book based in the 12th century set against the backdrop of the building of a cathedral. The book explores themes of intrigue and conspiracy against the civil war, religious conflicts, and shifting political loyalties. Architecture is a big part of the story too. See the pattern emerging here? Pillars of the Earth introduced me to the notion of challenging religious dogmas and coming to grips with machiavellian mindsets. Strangely, from the nuns in the story I learnt about the concept of feminism. It's still one of the best plots I have come across. A book I can re-read anytime and still be surprised at the twists and turns. 

Love Story, Oliver's Story by Erich Segal (1970, 1977)
Love Story is one the best love stories ever. Period. There is no debate.

And Erich Segal is one my favorite authors. His every book is a masterpiece- Doctors, Class, Acts of Faith. All my favorites. But Love Story is something else.

The very first line of the book has you hooked. 

What can you say about a twenty-five-year-old girl who died? That she was beautiful and brilliant? That she loved Mozart and Bach? The Beatles? And me?

Yes Jenny dies. You know that at the beginning of the book, so you are well aware that you are going to be crying buckets at the end of it. Jenny was Oliver's soulmate. Polar opposites but meant to be be together. And they were. Until she died. And he had to carry on living in the sequel. The book is a timeless romance. Oliver and Jenny's love formed the cornerstone of my feelings about love. I still believe love like that exists, but only a few lucky ones find it. 

Oliver's story offered me a more grounded reality of love. Mature love. Love which was born out of reality, but was still hopeful.

Whatever romantic illusions Mr. Darcy had set, Oliver Barrett IV cemented. And I have been screwed ever since.

Salmon Fishing in the Yemen by Paul Torday (2007)

Much before Ewan McGregor and Emily Blunt made salmon sexy, I picked up the book from the library after reading a review. I had no idea what to expect. It was the authors first book. So there was no baggage there either. It was a book about salmon fishing. My least favorite fish. And about Yemen. Country I knew nothing about. 

Yet I count it as one of the most delightful stories. Wiki describes it as a "romantic comedy" which is the same genre as "Confessions of a Shopaholic". Seriously!? It is not a story about romance, though romance is a part of the story. It's not a comedy, though the writing is very humorous. It's a book about breaking norms, following your instincts  and never, ever stop believing.

The book came to me at a trying time of my life and showed me that there is always a place for hope. And miracles. You simply need to believe. 

Palace of Illusions by Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni (2009)

Mahabharat is an epic. The story, the characters, the plots, the lessons all have been a big part of my life's philosophy and beliefs. The difference here is that this story was written from the perspective of Drupadi, the principal female character. It bought to forefront the deep male chauvinism that is steeped in Indian society. It questioned the righteousness of some of the male protagonists. It raised doubts on certain age-old beliefs. It sympathized the plight of Drupadi and made readers realize her pain, while the epic always only focused on her anger.

The author took one big liberty with this ancient tale which forms the key foundation of the entire book. This one departure makes you look at the epic rather differently, especially as a woman. Divakaruni uses nuances from the take to scratch beneath the surface, uncover hidden intentions and present them in a new light. What comes out is a fresh perspective and if nothing else at least offers food for thought. 

For me it reinforced my admiration for Drupadi and it made me realize more than ever fighting for your right can never ever be wrong. 

Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand (1957)

I read this other Ayn Rand's magnum opus more than twenty years after The Fountainhead. The book simply cannot be classified into a genre. It's a thriller and there is mystery. It is a science fiction to some effect. It has romance and lots of sex. It's about business and politics. It's about ideologies and philosophy. It educates, it warns. It instills  fear and then hope, or perhaps the other way round. But most importantly it makes you think. It makes you question. 

"So you think that money is the root of all evil?" said Francisco d'Aconia. "Have you ever asked what is the root of money? Money is a tool of exchange, which can't exist unless there are goods produced and men able to produce them. Is money made by the intelligent at the expense of the fools? By the able at the expense of the incompetent? By the ambitious at the expense of the lazy? Money is made – before it can be looted or mooched – made by the effort of every honest man, each to the extent of his ability. But money is only a tool. It will take you wherever you wish, but it will not replace you as the driver. It will give you the means for the satisfaction of your desires, but it will not provide you with desires. Money will not buy intelligence for the fool, or admiration for the coward, or respect for the incompetent".

In simpler terms its not wealth that is bad, but the relationship one has with it. Is it wealth gotten my honest means, or is it looted in some way, shape or form? Is it used to indulge simply in ones hedonistic pleasures or is at least part of if given to the less fortunate? Is it the centre of ones existence and feeds ones constant fears of losing it? Or is it spent selflessly to give joy to others? 

Atlas Shrugged renewed my faith in capitalism. Capitalism not materialism. The two concepts could not be further apart. I have always maintained that inefficiency is a bigger fault than stupidity. Don't blame the smarter, sharper and more intelligent ones who have made more money than inefficient, stupid and ineffectual ones. Each unabashedly deserved what they have received. 

 I wrote this for you by Pleasefindthis (2011)

"I need you to understand something. I wrote this for you. I wrote this for you and only you. Everyone else who reads it, doesn't get it." 

How can you not pick a book that says this? And I spotted the last one on the shelf, and only because I would get a free bag if I spend more money. It was fated. As it's said, a book chooses you. And comes to you at the time you need it most. 

This book is a collection of writings, poems and photographs that showcase a relationship between two people which once was deep and intense, and has since then ceased to exist, but it's effect still lingers. It's about soulmate and lost souls. The words touched my heart like not much has in recent times.

What is most heartening for me is that books have always been a huge part of my life, and will continue to be so. And their power to change my life is never changing. 

Yaad- a poem

Yeh kaisa aaj ka din guzra
Ki tumhein yaad karna bhool gayein
Kahan beh gaya yeh waqt ka dariya
Ki tumhara naam lena bhi na yaad raha

Guzartein din, guzarti raatein
Bhoolein geet, bhooli saugatein
Bhoolein woh lamhe, bhooli woh baatien
Pur phir bhi dhoondli si hai kuch yaadein

Ek tha woh zamana
Jab aati thi tumhari yaad
Ek tumhare aane se pehlein
Ek tumhare jaane ek baad

Lekin ab toh yeh aalam hai
Ki tumhari yaad hi nahin aati
Yaad tumhe zaroor karti
Agar kabhi bhool pati

That thing we call love

Is fleeting, is flighty

Is forever, is mighty

Is calming, is exciting

Is grounding, is intoxicating

Makes you smirk, makes you cry

Makes you gasp, makes you sigh 

Makes you swoon, makes you cling, 

Makes you glide, makes you sing 

Makes you weak, makes you strong

Makes you cheat, makes you wrong

Makes you  laugh, makes you scream, 

Makes you still, makes you dream

Full of generosity, mixed with desperation

Full of passion, mixed with affection

Full of kisses, mixed with hugs

Full of hopes, mixed with shrugs

Craved by all, trusted by none

Indulged in many, complete with one

Elusive to few, baffling for some

Easy to lose, difficult to come

Filled with warmth, riddled with fear

Resides in smiles, gets stronger in tears

Found when not looking, hides otherwise

Lives within us, is sought outside

An Illusion we call Control

It is said that to make God laugh, tell him your plans. So here goes God, chuckle away....

Yesterday's plan- Office + surprise Sanil at his school field trip in China Town. 
Yesterday's Reality- MRI at Mount E

Weekend plan- Satyagraha or Shudh Desi Romance followed by a nice meal with mum and dad
Weekend Reality- Homebound and walking around on crutches

Thursday's plan- New business meeting + coffee at my favorite café (recent favorite as the Barista is quiet cute and a charming flirt) 
Thursday's Reality- Rude visit by an old injury. Followed by paramedics and ambulance

When you read in books or hear people say how their world turned upside down in matter of seconds, you know how it could happen, but you understand it truly only when you go through it yourself. Till then you blissfully feel that you have control over your life. Well some aspects at least. Like I never worry about recession, earthquakes, critical illnesses, death, war in Syria. I really don't. Because these things are too big for me to control. So I simply leave them in hands of God.

However when it comes to 'smaller' things, like my own health, my work, my family, my weekend plans, my meetings, I believe I can control the process, if not the outcome.

So when an innocuous routine moment changes the course of your months to come, it's a rude awakening on how powerless we really are. We only have the illusion of control. An illusion that is blinding as it makes us believe that we are the directors of this blockbuster called Life. When in fact, as Shakespeare had said ages ago, we are merely actors and we have our entries and our exits. 

Like in Singapore we say, "So how?" How do we go on with our lives knowing things may never go as we desire them to? And we may never reach the destination we are planning for. We may not even exist the next minute!

So how?? What do we do now??

The key words here are "desire", "destination" and "exist"

1) Desire- The core philosophy of Vedanta is 'You get what you deserve, not what you desire". I have been trying to imbibe this for a few years now, but keep failing. Especially when I feel my desires are very ordinary. I am not asking for life's riches, fancy cars, cool yachts (though that would be on the nice-to-have list), stunning penthouses or even designer hand bags. My desires are simple, at least in my head they are.  

I am slowly coming to grips with this. My simple desires would be ambitious for many others who have less than me. So what makes me think I even deserve what I have right now? I must have done something right to get all what I have. I need to learn to appreciate that, while working towards what I want, but not clamoring after it. No easy task! But then if self-actualization were easy, then the world would not be such a screwed up place.

2) Destination- Since childhood we have been taught to reach a certain goal. Be it being at the top of our class, or getting in the school play, or winning the Gold medal at sports day. The end or the destination was the focus. Some of us who were lucky to have the right influences or it was inherent in our nature, learnt to enjoy the journey. We understood that it was more important to love what we learn (history and geography for me), rather than our grades. We learnt the joys of being a part of something big, as opposed to playing the lead. We relished the thought about bonding and having fun with friends and team mates instead of merely competing in sports. But somewhere in the practicalities of life, we lose these precious lessons. It's time for a refresh.

If we don't enjoy the journey, it's very unlikely we will savor the destination. Because we would in all likelihood be irritable, bored or worse still disappointed with the journey to bask in the destination experience.

3) Exist- As I have mentioned in my previous posts, we don't know where we come from, we don't know where we are going and we certainly don't know how long we are here for. So it's time to stop existing and start living.

As for me, I have to realize that blips in life can be guiding lights for the changes I need to make to lead a much fuller and more content life. I intend to put this into practice, slowly, but surely.