Thursday, February 18, 2010

I'm a Barbie girl, in the real world

My name is Seema and I am a Barbie-holic. I adore Barbie dolls. They represent all things beautiful and pretty. A smiling face, a fab bod, gorgeous clothes, shiny hair, awesome accessories- what's not to like?

Though I do have the "deprived child syndrome" as I never had Barbie dolls growing up.
:( And after a certain age buying Barbies is kinda freaky and weird. So I do the next best thing- I buy Barbies for my nieces, friends daughters, etc. (My only regret about Sanil- can't play Barbies with him).

So today when I saw a "LBD (Little Black Dress for the uninformed) Barbie"- I was so tempted. But then I looked at the price tag of S$50. I'd rather put that to my LBD fund and buy myself a sexy LBD (and yes, even if it's a LBD Barbie, it's very freaky for a grown up woman to buy one).

Check this one out: the neckline reaches the navel! And some cleavage show there! But am sure it's a true representation- as I know girls who dress like that. Really. And no, for the guys reading this- you cannot get her number.

And don't miss the political correctness wrt race- all skin and hair color options available.

There were some 8 different ones- each sporting a different LBD.

This one is my favorite- a nice one-shoulder chic LBD. Not the tacky-yes-my-boobs-are-for-all-to-see dress. And she has the sweet-girl-next-door-but-can-be-fun look (don't ask how I can get all that from a plastic face- but that's how I think she is). And don't miss the heels. Nice!

The one behind has the "librarian-by-day-dominatrix-by-night" look complete with a China-doll fringe!

So there, my secret is out. I am a Barbie girl..... but in a real world. That means....

- No waist size of 23
- No never ending legs
- No glossy shampoo-ad hair
- No SJP-like wardrobe (Sarah Jessica Parker for the uninformed)
- No choice of 80 careers (Barbie till date has had every possible career from a rock star to a paleontologist to a presidential candidate*. Here's to woman power!)
- No pet horse (don't ask where that came from)
- And no Ken. Sigh! (though if Ken were a real person, he would be a himbo no? (Himbo= the male version of a bimbo, whore, or slut. Again for the uninformed. Its the urbandictionary definition, not mine)

*Barbie fun facts: My favorite one: Barbie doll has had more than a billion pair of shoes and over one hundred new additions to her wardrobe annually. Barbie world- I want to go to there!

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Valentine’s Day (the movie, not the Day) - SPOILER ALERT!

Valentine’s Day (or as Sanil calls it Valentime’s day) spells cliché. And to release a movie on Valentine’s Day weekend titled ‘Valentine’s Day’ is cliché raised to the power of 10000.

And yes I am a sucker for rom coms especially with the ones which have pretty much all of my favourite actors in one place (Julia Roberts, Anne Hathaway, Bradley Cooper, Patrick Dempsey). So cliché or not, it had to be watched.

And it was wonderful- especially to see that non- cliché characterizations. Julia Roberts as a Captain in the USA Army, returning on V-day for merely 24 hours, to meet not her man, but her son. Needless to say that was the only part of the movie where I cried.

McDreamy (Patrick Dempsey) as the smart, handsome, dashing heart surgeon (well this Grey’s Anatomy hangover will not get old too soon) playing a married conniving adulterous SOB. Though that was little expected.

Eric Dane- looking hotter than he does as McSteamy- playing a gay guy who comes out of the closet for love. Awwww. And who should be his love interest but Bradley Cooper. Wow! When all along you were led to believe that Bradley would fall for Julia on their plane journey as ‘just-happened-to-be-seated-next-to-each-other-fate-meets-chemistry- coincidences’ (why don’t I ever get co-passengers like this?!). But he simply believed in love and was not in love with Julia when he made the ‘grand gesture’ of loaning her his limo. Nice touch there!

For a rom com movie buff there were also some kinda hidden funny gems. Taylor making a gag about being embarrassed to take his T-Shirt off (cute!). And Julia Robert’s reference on shopping on Rodeo Drive was simply priceless (remember the famous scene in Pretty Woman where she goes shopping in the high end shopping district posing as Richard Gere’s niece?).

And of course there were usual-tick-the-box-romantic-must-haves with child-teacher crush, singletons hate valentine’s gang, cynic turns mushy romantic, footballer-dancer (instead of cheer leader, we can’t get too cliché can we?), married for 3 decades and the spark still shines and 2 best friends realising that after all they are meant for each other.

Not to mention the multi-racial environment of LA being bought to life in- yes you guessed it- a cliché fashion. Mexican immigrant worker living the American dream, an Indian wedding complete with an old sardarji uncleji, goras doing the balle-balle, the usual.

At the end of it, Valentine’s Day beat up some clichés, re-created some existing ones and flogged some dead ones. But it did what it was supposed to do- make you smile and believe that magic exists (or at least can be created for 2 hours when a fabulous cast and talented director come together).

Monday, February 8, 2010

Why are our celebrities Pakistan obsessed?

I read somewhere that unhappy people make everyone else unhappy. Happy people are busy living their happy lives. That’s the difference between India and Pakistan. India wants to (and has!) moved to bigger and better things since the partition in 1947. Pakistan on that other hand has not. From an independent country born same time as us, it has instead moved to becoming a terrorist state.

Am sure people there are absolutely lovely and nice and don’t mean any harm to us. BUT collectively that’s not the case. As a government and as a nation they are against India and Indians. There is no other reason to explain everything from 1971 to 26/11 2008 and innumerable others in between.

Pakistan strives for India’s downfall- clean and simple. Let’s not F%^&ing mince words about this.

So why-o-why are our celebrities so bloody Pakistan obsessed? From Dilip Kumar* who attended the Pakistan Independence day to Shahrukh who recently said that Pakistan is a good neighbor and Pakistani cricketers should be included in the IPL.

Sarfarosh, an Aamir starrer based on cross border terrorism, showed Nasserudin as a Pakistani ghazal singer who used his profession to deal in arms to spread terrorism in India. When the movie released in 1999 (a brilliant performance by Aamir, as usual, and a great film), Shabana* said that our films should not portray Pakistani artists in bad light. Of course we shouldn’t. They only kill us, bomb our historic buildings, drove us out of our own homes during the partition- but hey, our movies cannot show them in bad light. That would be sacrilegious!

I am not a huge cricket fan (compared to the Indian cricket religious standards) but even I love a good India-Pakistan cricket match. Especially the ones where we beat the shit out of them (case in point 1999 and 2003 World Cup amongst many others). So I do agree that it’s a cricket lover’s loss when matches against Pakistan are cancelled.

I am hooked to Atif Aslam (Tu jaane na from Ajab Prem ki gajab kahani is topping the charts on my iPod right now). So yes, a music lover does lose out when a Pakistani artist is banned from India.

BUT we cannot differentiate between Pakistan cricketers vs. Pakistani artists vs. regular Pakistani people like you and me. We have to look at the nation as a whole. Individually no one is bad, but collectively they are!

Why is that we have to be politically correct (read: secular) every time and they can be morally, ethically and humanly wrong? Why is that after reading this blog my ‘secular’ friends will judge me to be a Hindu radical? There is NOTHING radical about this! It’s pure common sense. I cannot think of a nation that kills my people as a good neighbor. I cannot defend the “regular peace loving Pakistani people” who just have the misfortune of having a bad government. That’s just BULLSHIT!

Why can’t these celebs stand up and speak out on local issues? Where were they when ethnic cleansing** was going on in Kashmir? When Kashmiri Pandits were massacred and had to flee their homes? Of course they won’t speak on such Indian issues. Its not f$%^ing glamorous is it? And neither does it make much commercial sense.

These same celebrities have had their name, fame, wealth, love, worldwide recognition and appeal BECAUSE THEY ARE INDIANS. India and Indians are responsible to a large extent on what and where they are today. Where would they be had they come from the Pakistan film industry? Dancing at some Dubai Sheikh’s wedding perhaps. (Ooops! Some still do that).

A word of advice for such celebrities (and the above examples are not comprehensive): Be grateful to India. Be patriotic and do more for your Motherland instead of defending our not-so-friendly neighboring county.

And a final word of advice for Pakistan: Live and let live guys! Seriously!! 63 years of pulling us down and you have not succeeded. So just quit trying! Move on and get a life!

* disclaimer: this is hearsay and I don’t have any factual report supporting this. Though I did try searching. Guess Google and Wikipedia don’t have every possible information.

** In 1941 Kashmiri Pandits accounted for 15% of the population. This number in 2006 fell to 0.1%. 400,000 Kashmiri Pandits have been murdered or dislocated, and these are just the reported number.

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Quotable Quotes by Sanil

On his Kamal maama’s wedding:

“The wedding is over, now the ‘recession’ will start.”

On his Kamal maama’s wedding “reception”

“What will I BE at Kamal’s maama’s wedding? Like a page boy, or ring bearer, what will I BE?”


On India

“When we were on the bridge it felt like we were in Singapore, after we crossed the bridge, we are now back in India.”

On the Bandra-Worli Sea Link


“What I like most about India is that if you have dollars, everything is way cheaper."
On comparison between India and Singapore

Me: India is one of the oldest civilizations in the world
Sanil: Is that why all the roads are broken?

________________________________________________________________________________On Cricket

Sanil: “Is Kamal mama the best cricketer in the world?”

Me (sarcastically): “YES. He is better than even Tendulkar.”

Sanil (in all innocence): “Who?”


“Can I be the batter?”

Well, as we are playing cricket and not baking, I assume you mean batsman?


On Career Choices

Me: “I want to change my career. Do something different.”

Sanil: “Become an ice cream cooker!”
Me (contemplating sending my resume to Ben and Jerry)

“I want to grow up and be a normal person. Not like a rockstar or race car driver, just a normal person who goes to office.”

On career plans that suddenly got very modest


On stuff that makes me go “awwwwwww”

“You are the most importanest girl in my life”

About and to his mom (that’s me!)


Sanil: “When I grow up I shall get 2 houses, one for you and one for me.”

Me (chocked up in tears): “Really? Wow!” But a house can cost more than a million dollars. Do you have a million dollars?”

Sanil (in all sincerity): “OK. I will go check my piggy bank.”

“If you are scared you can hold my hand”

To his mom during a thunderstorm


On girlfriends and such

“I will go for my honeymoon to Goa”

Talk about forward planning!

Sanil (waving at the pretty girl across the street)

Me (in a teasing voice): “Is that your girlfriend?”

Sanil (matter of factly): She used to be.”


And other random ones

“B maama is taking me to the hair designer to get my hair gelled”

Errrr its Hair Dresser, but I get the point


"Whatever" is just a rude way of saying "Yes"

“What if maama’s son is a daughter?”
On his keen desire to have a male cousin. Errr gender confusion?


“I want to take a rocket ship and go to outer space where everything is FUNNER. Not like earth where everything is boring!”

On homework and other boring earthly stuff


“Don’t say that! You are breaking my feelings!”

You mean ‘hurting’ your feelings, but I get the drift!


Me: Congrats Sanil you came 3rd in the race (School sports day)
Sanil: Well I came ALMOST 2nd!
Me: That's a good spin on actually coming 3rd!