Saturday, April 20, 2013

I don't want to forget...

I don't want to forget...

That innocence lies where tantrums now exist

That joy once lived where sorrow now resides

That there is always dawn after the night

But darkness will still follow the light

That the caterpillar will become a butterfly some day

That a cold heart will slowly melt in some way

That faith should never leave my side

And sometimes I need to go along for the ride

That passion can be fury in disguise

And a lunch always has a price

That myths make unicorns

And humans make myths

That while history teaches 

Religion merely preaches

The clouds that hide silver linings

Also give rainy afternoons

That a voice that is angry

Is hiding tremendous pain

And love that let's go 

Is a heart slain 

That sweet smiles hide sadness

And joy is not what it seems 

That the path to true happiness

Simply lies within

Saturday, April 13, 2013

Wish it were simple to be simple

Simple people have it easy. Simple needs, basic wants and no frills. Simple people are happy with a vacation in Malacca and don't desire Monaco. They enjoy a 9 to 5 job with zero career prospects and don't wish to climb the corporate ladder. Hell, they probably think the glass ceiling is a skylight. They do bake sales. And coffee mornings. A movie on a school night is as racy as it gets. They simply don't have many (if any) aspirations, let alone ambitions.

I wish I were simple. I wish I did not push myself to do more. I wish I could be satisfied living a mundane tai-tai expat lifestyle. I wish I had no desires to excel at my job. I wish I was not as curious to learn. I wish I were physically unable to multitask. I wish I didn't demand close to perfection from myself. I wish I were simple.

Don't get me wrong. I am not saying I can't appreciate the simple joys in life. I love simple things like watching Sanil get off the school bus and try to rattle off everything that happened in the full minutes. Enjoying a nice cup of coffee on my balcony. Afternoon naps. Idli for breakfast. Precious family time. Sharing gossip with my sisters. Teasing my brothers. Baby sitting my niece. A meeting that went well. A compliment...or two. Friends over for lunch, who end up staying for dinner. I love these simple joys. They give me the utmost happiness. And I value and treasure them.

However enjoying simple joys is completely different from being  a simple person. 

I constantly aspire for the better. I savor challenges. I enjoy the adrenaline rush. I dream. And yeah, my dreams are not simple either. I can get Sanil ready for school. Hit the gym.  Take a classics reading group in Sanil's class. Sell a new concept to my clients; and get them to sign the cost estimate. Read a book over lunch. Respond to 50 emails; send 50 of my own. Skip out of office for an afternoon coffee. Work on a presentation. Do my expenses claims. All in time for happy hour. I catch up with friends I have not seen in awhile over cocktails. Have dinner with the regular ones. Put Sanil to bed. And still have time to squeeze in an episode of The Good Wife before tucking myself in. And that's just a regular Friday. 

I love it. I wish I didn't. But I do. 

You can't miss what you have never had. I wish I never had aspirations. I wish I were simple. Then I would live in a blissfully naive existence like simple minded people do. It would be such a welcome change. 

If my readers are waiting for a twist. There isn't any. It's just one of those days when I wish I was simple.