Wednesday, December 23, 2009

The perfect Christmas presents

Wish these were available off-the-rack as Christmas presents

1) Ready to wear spines for the ones who have no backbone

2) Thick skin coats for the overtly sensitive

3) A custom made smile (tailored to the face so it does not look fake) for the grumpy

4) A ‘change the channel’ button for the boring ones

5) A built in kind heart for the meannies

6) A laugh track for the humorless

7) A volume button for the loud ones

8) A mute button for the loud and stupid ones

9) A punch in the face for 7 and 8 above who continue being loud and/or stupid

10) And finally a doze of patience (not the prescribed variety) for me when I have to bear any or all of the above


  1. Ha ha this is great! You could go into business selling these. Merry christmas.

  2. Merry Christmas to you too! Getting into business selling these means I would have meet people who need the above, which is what I want to completely avoid :)