If I were a literary character...

I love books. I started reading early on in life and have not stopped since. I always have a book on me. Always. Hence I am never alone. I don't mind if I am kept waiting as I can pour into my book. Traffic jams are not a deterrent as it simply means I can read longer till I reach my destination. I have devoured pages of books while killing time at doctor's clinics, train stations and the likes. There are some places which are extremely special to me for reading, like the terrace of my building in Bombay, the beach and the window ledge of my apartment in Singapore.

There was once I did not get on a BEST bus in Bombay on my way to work as I saw my colleague in the bus queue. Getting in the same bus would mean idle chatter for an hour an half. Precious time taken away from my book. So I opted to hide behind a pillar so I would not be spotted and wait for the next bus. Just so I could read in peace.

When I was at the salon on the day of my engagement awaiting my turn, the hair dresser proudly announced that there was a bride-to-be in the room. All the women and girls started looking around excitedly for this blushing bride. I naturally had my nose buried in a book and tried to ignore them. The chatter got rather disturbing, so I finally gave up and raised my hand like I was in school and volunteered that I was the girl in question. Must say the women were rather disappointed in finding a bride-to-be more interested in story books instead of fairy tale weddings.

Couple of months ago my brother had to take me to the hospital  in the middle of the night. At the hospital while going through my bag to find my IC, he was amazed that even in my frantic and painful state, I had managed to pack a book.

That is how much I love books. So naturally there are some literary characters I am very attached to. A good writer makes his characters relatable. When you are engrossed in the story you actually believe that some characters are so much like you.

So here goes. My Top Ten literary characters who I think are so much like me. Or am I just like them?

1) Elizabeth Bennet- Pride and Prejudice: Undoubtedly one of most popular women characters ever. A character immortalised by various heroines across the years in movies and TV shows- both in the West and in India. Remember Trishna? One of the best TV shows on Indian televisions. The character was called Rekha Anand. It never ceases to amaze me that Jane Austen created Lizzie's character in 1813. However it is as relevant today as it was then.

Elizabeth Bennet has been consistently described as strong-willed, independent, lively and witty. Her flaw was that she judged people on first impressions, leading to the word 'Prejudice' in the title. 'Pride' part of title comes from Mr. Darcy- every woman's fantasy- whose aloof decorum made Elizabeth and her family think that he is too proud. In this classic tale where romance between the two takes centre stage, love blooms when Elizabeth gets over her prejudices and Mr. Darcy gets over his pride.

I read this book when I was may be 16 years old. And have read it multiple times since then. It is my favourite book and Lizzie's is not only favourite character, but I have always found many of my traits in her. Her commitment to her family, her wilful yet kind nature, her  'handsome but not beautiful features', her independent streak, her temper, her courage to go against norms- I identified with everything that she embodied.

2) Betty Cooper- Archie comics: From classic to comics. I started reading Archie comics when I think I was about 7 or 8 years old. Much to the chagrin of my older cousin who firmly believed I should reach Richie Rich as it was more age appropriate for me. I never liked the 'poor little rich boy'. Super annoying! However I loved Archie comics. I used to entire spend school summer holidays reading them non-stop.

I have always believed that female population of the world is divided between the Bettys and the Veronicas. And yes, the twain shall never meet. I am so Betty. Cute, adorable, kind, loving,  helpful, funny, the best friend anyone can ask for...and still waiting for my Archie...

3)  Hermione Granger- Harry Potter: Smart, studious, sometimes too serious, academic over achiever. Need I go on?

4)  Jo March- Little Women: Another favourite book of mine. One which I have read over 50 times since I first read it in when I was 12. It's also a book that I gift to daughters of all my friends. It's a must read classic for every girl big and small.

A story about 4 sisters set in America in 1870s. The sister I most identified with was Josephine who insisted she be called Jo. Described as clumsy- check; blunt- check; opinionated- check; hot-tempered- errr yes definite check; humorous- final check. Though I have never been a Tom Boy so am slightly different from Jo in that respect, I relate to her in every other way. I cried buckets when I read the sequel  'Good Wives' where her annoying younger sister Amy marries her best friend Laurie.

Side bar- Amol Palekar made a TV show on Doordarshan in the 80s called Kachchi Dhoop which was based on Little Women. It was Bhagyashree's (of Maine Pyar Kiya fame) screen debut. She played the eldest sister. It also had Ashutosh Gowarikar (director of Swades and Jodha Akhbar) who played Bhagyashree's love interest 'Nikhil Sir'.

5) Carrie Bradshaw- Sex and the City: I have not met a man till date who think Sarah Jessica Parker is good looking. I for one, adore her. I loved 'Sex and the City'- the TV show, not the movies. I think Carrie bought to light the modern woman's dilemmas and delights in a stunningly humours yet realistic manner. Is it too lame to say I wish I could write as witty as her? Yes, yes, I know the writers wrote her lines, but in my head it was always Carrie. P.s. love SJP's cameo in Glee-4. Damn, now I have admitted to the extent of my trashy TV habits.

6)  Nancy Drew- Nancy Drew Mysteries: when I was young I fantasised if Nancy Drew ever needed to solve a mystery in India, she would choose me as her partner- language skills, local knowledge, etc are important for a detective. Nancy was smart, little nerdy, a bit of goody-two-shoes and had been described as super girl. I never believed I could match up to her standards, but I think I do have some common traits.

Side bar- I only found out now that Nancy Drew books have been ghostwritten by a number of authors and are published under the collective pseudonym Carolyn Keene.

7) Catelyn Stark- Game of Thrones: because I am so addicted right now to the series in both forms of its book and the TV series, I had to include a character from there. I adore Arya Stark and feel I have her fighting spirit and never-say-die attitude, but she is 10. Anyway I do think I am a lot more like her mum Catelyn, Lady of Winterfell. She is brave, smart, loyal and a devoted mum who would do anything for her kids. Yes, if I ever were part of the series, I think I would be most suited to play her. Though I would want to play...well can't reveal that in public.

8)  Anne- Anne of Green Gables: is a bestselling novel by Canadian author Lucy Maud

Montgomery.

A literary classic written as children's novel, which I only happened to read a few years ago. And I was smitten! The story recounts the adventures of Anne Shirley, a young orphan girl sent to a middle-aged brother and sister who have a farm on Prince Edward Island, and who had intended to adopt a boy to help them. Anne (with an 'e' as she believed its more distinguished that way) is bright, witty, talkative and extremely imaginative. I don't think I was like her as a child, but I feel I am now. Anne made friends with the most unlikely people as she believed they were 'kindred spirits' like her. I have met a few such kindred spirits in my life. It's more then mere friendship, it's almost a spiritual connection which is so beautiful that you can't describe it in words.

9) Drupadi- Mahabharata- I don't know where to begin. I felt a kinship of sorts with Drupadi ever since I read Amar Chitra Katha comics. It further developed while watching Mahabharata on TV.

I think she is remembered for all the wrong reasons- a woman with five husbands, reason for the war between Pandavs and Kauravs, her spirit of revenge. People fail to emphasize with her plight. She did not choose to be married to five men. It was forced upon her. She did not urge her husbands to start a war, she only begged them in open court to save her. She has been humiliated, abused, ill-treated and hurt multiple times over. So she was justified in being angry. Drupadi's story is a prime example of the male chauvinistic attitudes prevalent in Indian society then, and to a large extent even today.

Side bar- I would urge all women to read 'Palace of Illusions'. A novel by Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni where she writes Mahabharata from Drupadi's perspective. It's a work of fiction, where certain creative liberties are taken, however it does make you wonder if their is some truth in them.

Well here is where we are now...I don't have a no. 10!

I  was going to include Lata from A Suitable Boy by Vikram Seth but realised even though I enjoyed the book and liked her character, I am nothing like her. For one, I would have never given up Amit the poet in favor of Harish the Blah.

Then I debated over adding Katniss Everdeen of Hunger Games because I simply LOVE the book, and the movie and Jennifer Lawrence.

However I  would be lying if I said I was like her. Katniss is too strong, too brave and little too emotionless to be like me.

Hence in tune with the times, I wish to propose 'crowd sourcing'. My readers are welcome to suggest literary characters who they think are like me. Simply add a comment on my Facebook post. Would love to hear from you!

And finally...my perfect man is someone who loves books as much as I do...What say Ryan?

Sex and City 2- err which city again?

Spoiler alert*

SATC-2 was Hollywood’s nod to the Middle East money-loaded market. And America’s way of sucking up to the oil-rich nation. What other fathomable reason could there be for the outlandish “Abu Dhabi rocks” ad?! And it was not even bloody shot in Abu Dhabi! The barefaced plugs (did Aidan have to recite the names of the UAE States before he and Carrie kissed-SERIOUSLY!?!) would even put Bollywood-Cola  and Mahi Way-YRF Films plugs to shame!


So did the Abu Dhabi government fund the filming of the entire movie? And threw in lifetime of free Botox treatments for Sarah Jessica Parker (SJP), Kim Cattrall, Kristen Davis and Cynthia Nixon?

SERIOUSLY!!? Did Michael Patrick King forget that the “City” in “Sex and the City” is New York? I want to see Fifth Avenue, Central Park, the Manhattan Skyline, Brooklyn Bridge even (hell I would rather see Brooklyn itself), Magnolia Bakery, Times Square and not Abu-bloody-Dhabi! Ok, this is nothing against Middle East or Abu Dhabi in particular. I would feel the same if the movie was based in Barcelona or Athens. New York is a big part of Sex and City- and to lose it, is cheating the fans! (Remember Season 6 when Carrie was in Paris? It was the most boring part the TV Series. And Paris is a lovely city, but it’s not THE city when it comes to SATC).

I know it’s impossible to recreate the wonders of a fabulous TV series in a 2.5 hour movie (remember X-Files the movie? That’s why I am so happy that ‘Friends’ has not been made into a movie- recipe for disaster). And hence my expectations from even SATC-1 were not very high. But as it was the first one, the excitement was there. And it did not disappoint as much as I thought it would. As there was a natural progression from the story line.

Come on! Admit it! We all wanted Carrie and Big to marry. The series ended with only them finally together (and we found out that Big’s name was John). SATC-1 also shared with us what happened further in Miranda, Samantha and Charlotte’s lives. And even SATC-1 had an out-of-New York location shoot in Mexico, but it was a natural part of the story and not the centre of it like Abu Dhabi and STAC-2.

For SATC-2, the excitement was lesser, the cast was older (coming more on that later) and the expectations non-existent.

But I was still checking for show times since a week so I could ensure I have tickets for the weekend of the release. And also made sure that my girl friends had cleared their schedules and we all made time for the movie- and in true SATC style- drinks and dinner before. It was a great evening- Riva and Manisha! :) So yes, was I ever not going to watch it? Out of the question. Would I listen to the reviews saying how terrible it was? Not really.




Excerpts from some reviews:


Among other brickbats, the Guardian's film critic Peter Bradshaw called it "misjudged and quite incredibly boring", the Times said it was "a waste of four great characters", and the New York Times thought it was "desperate, grating and a little sad". The movie has scored a pitiful 14% on the Rotten Tomatoes website film review aggregator. A user review on IMDB said- For the storyline is seems like it should be nominated for Worst Screenplay and Worst Sequel and win both Razzies.

But none of this has dented its commercial prospects – aimed at the bumper Memorial Day holiday weekend at the US box office. Influential website Deadline Hollywood reported that Sex and the City 2 took USD17m on its first day on release in the US alone, and expects to make a healthy $75m-plus for the entire five-day holiday period. It is the latest example of an ever-more prevalent phenomenon: the critic-proof movie.

And just like the Box Office, I knew my fate with SATC-2 as well- I knew I would go see it on day 2 in the cinemas. And I would not be disappointed, as I had no expectations- except to see the 4 of them together again, the great wardrobes and those sweet and funny moments.

But what was lacking was exactly that- those sweet and funny moments. There were few and far between. The loudest I heard the audience laugh was when Miranda and Charlotte were discussing how difficult motherhood is. Their frank discussion and portrayal of real mum’s thoughts was funny and sweet. But since when did the ‘SATC moments’ come from motherhood stories?! (It’s like Seattle Grace Hospital from Grey’s Anatomy suddenly becoming like a real hospital!)

The few magical moments for me were:

1) When John comes to pick Carrie from her old apartment and she voices “And then, just like that, it was 1998 again”. For that brief moment, SATC-2 took me back to the original magic

2) The reference and portrayal of the 4 friends when they first came to New York was a lovely start

3) The ‘gay wedding’ was a fun, very true to SATC style next step

4) The red carpet Samantha-Miley Curtis same-dress-near-fiasco

 

5) The karaoke bar scene in Abu Dhabi and the song choice- cliché, but the “best friends moment” was captured wonderfully

6) The Abu Dhabi shoe shop bazaar reference was sweet. Of course when Carrie expressed sheer amazement at the shoes that cost only $20, I wanted to invite her to Charles and Keith here.

Hey! Here’s a thought! May be STB (Singapore Tourism Board) can sponsor SATC-3? We have the IRs here now for the glamour and plenty of 20$ shoe shops too! And may be Carrie can strut on Orchard Road instead of Fifth Avenue. And Miranda can do a family vacation in USS (Universal Studios Singapore). And Charlotte can get a hot Filipino maid as her nanny! Samantha would feel at home in Orchard Towers. And all 4 of them could do brunch at PS Cafe, Dempsey or Fullerton and drinks at Aticca, Clarke Quay. There you go! SATC-3 script is done. Do not ridicule! I think that pretty much was the extent of thought that went into script of SATC-2.


On the 4 ladies:

a) The lovely, beautiful Carrie: No guy I have even known or met thinks SJP is pretty. One of them went to the extent of describing her as a ‘cross between a horse and a transvestite’. OMG! That’s brutal. But she did look very tranny-like in the scene she was getting dressed to meet Aidan for dinner and applying the ‘kajal’. And boy did age show on her face! She looked older than all of them. Sorry sweetie- think you have lost way too much weight on your face- it does look rather horsy now.

b) The sexy Samantha- losing the Samantha edge in Abu Dhabi are we? All the sexual innuendos (“I am open”-really? That was your best retort?), were so damn predictable! And one thing we do not expect from Samantha is predictability.

c) Miranda- Actually she looked the youngest of them all. And her face was the least wrinkly. Guess lesbianism agrees with her! Or I would like to know which anti-ageing product she uses. Good show girl!

d) Charlotte- She has always been the most insipid of the 4. I can’t really think of one thing to say about her that stood out. And yeah, the nanny thing is so old!

On the fashion:


I must qualify here that I am not a fashion expert. I can’t differentiate a Jimmy Choo from a Manolo Blahnik and a vintage Dior from a Valentino. I only know of these as designer names and labels and love looking at them without getting too attached, as I can’t afford a dress that costs more than my mortgage. So here is a list of my favs- but don’t expect any further info. These items made it to the list simply because I think they look awesome and oh-so-pretty!

1) Carrie’s moon and star pendant- I want!

2) Carrie’s entry shot- the fabulous white dress and the golden shades (very few people can carry off shades like that)

3) Charlotte’s white dress- image above (you now know what my favourite color when it comes to dresses is- white)


4) Carrie’s outfit when she met Aidan in the Abu Dhabi Bazaar- image above

5) The orange flowing dress Carrie wore when she was upset about her bad book review and she went for a walk on the beach. Though how can someone so short and tiny carry a flowing dress like this is beyond me. But Carrie can!

6) The necklace that the ‘young new age Abu Dhabi’ woman admired too

7) All the desert-lunch dresses except Samatha’s. I like Charlotte’s the best. The neck is simply gorgeous!

However I have to say this- the blatant “Spring-Collection- under-the-Burkha-fashion-show" was simply sad!






Parting words...

The movie missed the mark in that one aspect where the series hit a sixer (or a home run) every time- the writing. There are hardly any memorable quotes in SATC-2. Everything the ladies spouted was predictable, stale and plain old boring. Such a shame!

Will end off with some of my favourite SATC quotes- from the TV series:

“I will never be the woman with the perfect hair, who can wear white and not spill on it.” Carrie

“Are there some women put in the world just to make you feel bad about yourself?”

“It takes half the amount of time you dated someone to get over them.” Charlotte

“I'm thinking balls are to men what purses are to women. It's just a little bag, but we feel naked in public without it”. Carrie

“When Charlotte really liked somebody she said their whole name. It helped her picture their future monogrammed towels”. Carrie

“How does it happen that four such smart women have nothing to talk about but boyfriends? It's like seventh grade with bank accounts”. Miranda


“What if Prince Charming had never shown up? Would Snow White have laid in that glass box forever? Or would she have gotten up, spit out the apple, gotten a job and a health care plan and moved on with her life? I could not help but wonder inside every confident driven single woman, is there a delicate, fragile princess just waiting to be saved?”

“Why did we ever stop drinking these?” Miranda on Cosmopolitans. “Because everyone else started!” Carrie

I know how to please a man. You just give away most of your power”. Miranda

“Marriage does not guarantee a happy ending, just an ending”. Samantha


And my all time fav: “All I had to do to meet the ideal man is to give birth to him”. Miranda

* Ok, a ‘Spoiler Alert’ highlight was not really necessary, as SATC is as predictable as Singapore’s weather. But I hate to know even a bit of any movie- no matter how predictable- before I watch it. So if you are anything like me, thought it was best to caution.