20 tips on becoming an Indian gangster’s moll

1) You should be aware of the existence of the term ‘moll’


2) You should have lived the 70s

3) You should know how to tie saris below the waist line

4) And looking stunning in ‘western clothes’ too

5) You should understand Ajit and Mona Darling jokes

6) Know who Ajit is in the first place

7) Carry off ‘the cigarette holder’ look with style

8) Use red lipstick

9) Wear high heels

10) And plunging necklines

11) Laugh knowingly

12) Smile seductively

13) Know the ins-and-outs of gold smuggling

14) But drug smuggling is strictly a no-no*

15) Learn a Helen dance routine**

16) Be haughty

17) And flirty

18) Have ability to recognize the mole in the gang

19) Keep your day job in case the underworld politics turns against you

20) Don’t fall for the honest police officer no matter how charming and good looking he is***

* The principle borrowed from Don Corleone aka God Father and repeatedly used by all the ‘scrupulous’ Mumbai Dons

**I recommend “yeh mera dil” from Don- the original Don. Kareena only managed to do semi-justice to the song in the new-crappy-Don (what was the talented Farhan thinking? Not about Kareena; about the movie in general)

*** like Shashi Kapoor in Deewar

Bhaiya mere…

Rakhi ke bandhan ko nibhana, bhaiya mere, choti bahen ko na rulana….a song that made its way to our 14 inch TV set every August through the marvelous program of Chayageet. It acted as an announcer for the upcoming festival of Raksha Bandhan.

Raksha Bandhan is a Hindu festival for brothers and sisters. A sister ties the ‘holy thread’ (Wikipedia described the Rakhi as that) on her brothers wrist and the brother is then bound to protect his sister against all of life’s perils. Brother also has to get a gift (or the ever-welcome cash) for the sister, who in turns gives him sweets. Rule of thumb- no Indian festival is complete without exchange of sweets.

So that in a nutshell is Raksha Bandhan or Rakhi. My 2nd favorite festival after Holi (which is by far my favouritest! And yes I know that’s not a word). Diwali stands at no. 3.

Growing up with 3 brothers makes one naturally inclined towards Rakhi. Lifetime protection AND fab gifts or cash every year. It’s a no brainer on why Rakhi ranks high on my popularity charts!

On a less frivolous note…

A relationship between a brother and sister mirrors a roller coaster ride- ups and downs, lows and highs, screams (tons of them!), laughs, smiles, scares- but ultimately a fabulous fun experience!

Younger brothers can be a pain in the a$%$. No question.

• They hoard the bathrooms (and my bros are notorious for that)
• Never let you borrow their stuff
• Capture and never release the TV remote
• Are secretive and mysterious (when actually their lives are really not that glamorous)
• And mums tend to have a soft corner for them

But they make life super fun….

• If you want to get out of a boring family wedding, use them. They will come up with a devious plan and you will not only get out of the wedding, but also get cash from parents to go eat out.

• They are great buffet companions. Especially for me- as I can eat (and usually do eat) more than most boys I know. And going for an all-you-can-eat session with girls- is a bloody waste and makes you feel like a glutton. But go with your brothers- and you will never be out of place.

• Inane conversations are easy and can lead to hour long debates about random and inconsequential topics like ‘where can you get the best bread and butter pudding?’

• They are great chauffeurs- growing up in Bombay, even though I was the older sister, was always in need to be picked up and dropped off- and they are always there (sometimes even when I did not need/want the ride :)

• Their crazy antics and banters keeps the atmosphere light and spirits high

On a more serious note…


My brothers are the best! I would not trade them for anything in the world (yes, not even a pot of gold, or a 10 carat diamond. Ok….a 10 carat diamond may sway the deal). They are funny, smart, cool and very very loving.

They never take themselves or me too seriously, but take our relationship very seriously.

And they have always been there for me- whether I voiced the need or not. They have been my support and have enabled me to make tough decisions because I knew that they would be there if I fall.

They never judge, they always praise and they tease me consistently- which keeps me grounded and helps me retain my sanity.

And they make the most wonderful maamas ever! Sanil is a big fan of all 3 of them and takes their word as the gospel.

“Pu maama said it’s the weekend, so I can do whatever I want”

"B said there is no need to do poetry homework because poets don’t make any money"

"Is Kamil maama the best cricketer in the world?”

My brothers make my life complete. And without them, I would be so much less off!

Sweet endings…

I wish no matter where I am in life, and no matter where life takes them, this bond never breaks. They have long ago fulfilled their vow of protection, but still it’s reassuring that every Rakhi this bond is further strengthened.

In a recent post I read about brothers and sisters, the writer very aptly said that “As married adults, the relationship you have with your siblings depends on your spouses. If they will it, your relationship will flourish. If not, it will flounder. As simple as that”. And for my existing relationship with my bros which continues to grow and flourush, I do have my 2 amazing sister-in-laws to thank!

My hope is that Sanil will be as great a brother to his cousin sisters as my brothers are to me.






Will end on another popular Raksha Bandhan song "Phoolon ka taaron ka, sab ka kahna hai... ek hazaaron mein, meri behna hai.". Ok my brothers wud NEVER sing this song for me (primarily becoz none of them can sing), but I know they believe its true ;)

p.s. remember to wear your rakhi for at least one day! Someone will do chugli and I will know if you did not! And yes,I will vasoolofy the kharchi when I see you next!

Thinking of you all a lot today! Lots of love, Seema

So what was your excuse this Independence Day?

The day has come to an end. Another day in another month in another year to most people all over the globe. But it’s not! This very day 63 years ago, India got Independence from the British Rule after years of struggle. It is a special day. It should be a special day. A day when you remember all the sacrifices made by so many great men and women, thanks to who, you and I live the kind of life we do today.


My guess would be most of urban Indians living in the India ‘metros’ take 15th Aug as another public holiday (and this year they would whinge how it falls on a Sunday and hence they ‘lost’ a holiday). And most people living outside India, well it’s just another day...if it’s a weekday, you get dressed, drop kids to school, go to work, come back home, sleep, the usual humdrum. And if it falls on a weekend like it did today, well then there is no need to get early out of bed is it?

But that’s not true right?

We get up early on weekends for various different reasons:

- Morning run

- Morning sex

- Biking

- Brunch with eggs Benedict and Mimosas

- Or simply because kids don’t let us sleep in

- Etc, etc

So why could you not have got up today and gone to the Indian Embassy in Singapore for flag hoisting?

It started at 9.00 am and lasted less than 10 mins. The flag is hoisted and you sing the National Anthem. If you don’t the words, you just stand still, and sink that amazing patriotic feel in the air. After which you need to stay only if your kids were performing on stage, or if you simply feel like it.

10 minutes. That’s all. And in Singapore travel time cannot exceed more than 20 mins in cab at that time.

So what was your excuse?

- Lazy?
- Boring?
- Lame?
- Not worth getting out of bed for?
- Or worse of all- it’s just not something professional expat Indians do?

In all the years I have lived here, I cannot help but notice that the majority of the audience are young students and people in the diplomatic circles. From all my expat Indian friends, only a handful (think I need only one of my hands to count) attend the flag hoisting.



Why is that so? I simply cannot fathom!

1) Are you ashamed of your country? Then f&**ing give up your nationality! The Indian passport does not come with very many privileges in the first place. Give it up. Don’t bother being an Indian any more.

2) Or are you ashamed of yourself? How can an educated, rich, professional, expat be seen with the riff-raff of students, workers and government babus? What would it do to your reputation amongst your colleagues and friends? Won’t they laugh at you? Poke fun? (I know! It happens to me all the time. But it never fazes me)

3) Or you simply don’t care? The thought just does not cross your mind perhaps? But yet, you never forget to watch the latest SRK blockbuster do you? Or trying out the latest Indian restaurant in Singapore? Then why can’t you remember this day?

4) Or is it just that you don’t think it’s important enough? You feel you love your country and are proud of it, so why do you need to attend a flag hoisting of Independence Day? I think many of you would probably fall in this category. (Though I personally know many people who fall in the category 1 and 2 as well). I would like just to remind you that expression of an emotion is almost as important as an emotion itself. Doesn’t your spouse get angry with you when you don’t tell her enough that you love her? You know and she knows that you do. But she needs and desires that expression. Don’t you express your admiration for children’s smallest successes? Don’t you call long distance to wish your parents on their birthdays and anniversaries? Don’t you leave funny and caring posts on friends Facebook profiles?


Then why can’t you express your love and gratitude to your Motherland? Is attending flag hoisting the only way to do it? Of course not! But is it a symbolic expression of patriotism? Yes it sure is!

 And it will do wonders for your own soul. To be with your fellow countrymen, singing (or humming) Jan-gan-man, seeing the tiranga flying and knowing however far you may be, you always have home to return to- there is not a calmer feeling in the world.


And after those 10 minutes are over, go lead your regular life. (I went for a breakfast at Jones, read Life! and then headed home)

But the feeling of pride in my heart of where India has reached today, makes my heart bigger, my smile wider and my courage stronger. Coz if we survived the colonial rule and started with next to nothing just a generation ago, we can pretty much do anything.

Today India is the largest democracy which has elected a women and a minority Prime Minister (USA has never had a woman President till now, and elected its first minority President only last year). It is slated to be the 3rd largest economy in next 40 years (after USA and China). Is home to the great invention of our times- the cheapest car in the world, Tata Nano. And has given the world visionaries like Narayan Murthy, creative geniuses like Tagore and legends like Gandhi (amongst the trivial though commercially viable Ms. Universes and Ms. Worlds).


As Indians we not only survive the odds, we excel.


So let’s please just give due to the country that makes it all possible.

Jai Hind!

Many Worlds Theory- A Seema Interpretation

Who are we? Why are we here? What is beyond Earth? Are there aliens? Will they invade Earth? Why can’t we invade their planets first? Why are aliens depicted as green? Are there any cute n eligible ones? These are not merely philosophical questions; they are also scientific ones (barring the last one of course- that was just added in so you would stay with me in the post). Even as a child when I debated about such questions or tried to find answers- I reached only one conclusion. “We don’t know”. It’s as simple as that. We don’t know. And by ‘we’ I mean a collective of physicists, scientists, Nobel Prize winners, doctors, inventors, all over the globe. No one knows these answers. For every theory, there are an equal number of ones than refute it, and an equal number that support it.


So what exactly happens outside the galaxy we inhabit? Is there another galaxy far, far away?

I love the quote from the ‘97 science fiction thriller ‘Contact’ (one of Jodie Foster’s best films), where as a young girl she asks her dad “Dad, do you think there are people on other planets?” And he looks up to the sky and replies “I don't know. But I guess I'd say if it is just us... seems like an awful waste of space”.

Exactly. “I don’t know” was his answer. (And yes it would be awful waste of space).

A related theory to this is the Multiple Worlds Theory or the Many Worlds Theory (MWT). As explained by the “dummies” website: “The multiverse is a theory in which our universe is not the only one, but states that many universes exist parallel to each other”.

MWT is an interpretation of quantum physics (a term I love using whenever I can after it was popularized by Flash Forward). It was developed originally by American physicist Hugh Everett in 1957. It was further propagated by other eminent physicists and researchers, but not all physicists really believe in MWT.

So why am writing about MWT? I am so not a sci-fi lover. In fact I detested science even as a subject in school. This is all due to a recent obsession of mine called “Flash Forward”. It’s one of the best shows on TV in recent times. And am still devastated that Season 2 was cancelled. (Why o why? Is it not enough for ABC that I am a true lover and an ardent fan?? Yes, yes I know. ABC will not spend millions of dollars to air a show just because I love it so much- though am sure there are many others like who would have been very disappointed too).

Okie. So back to Flash Forward. The show in a nutshell- there was a global blackout- every human on the planet lost consciousness for 2 mins and 17 seconds. And they all saw their future 6 months hence. A married woman who loves her husband and has a happy marriage sees herself sleeping with another man. A young America doctor living in San Francisco sees himself in love with a Japanese girl living in Kyoto. And she sees the exact same thing too. My darling Agent Noh (John Cho) sees nothing- leading to believe that he won’t have a future 6 months hence, i.e. he dies.

So what now?
• If we have seen the future, can we change it?
• Can we avoid it?
• Can it change us?
• Is our fate determined by the Almighty?
• Or do we as humans have the power to mould our future and change our ending?
• Do we have a choice?
• If not and if our destiny is decided, then why the charade of choice?

The show grapples with many such questions (amongst solving the mystery on how and why the Flash Forwards occurred, criminal intents, love triangles and many other interesting sub plots). But it does raise very valid questions. 2 specific ones actually:

1) Is our fate is sealed? Whatever decision we take or choices we make, will ultimately lead us to that fate. But the paths we take, the experiences we experience, the relationships we grow, will all be different depending on our choices. But our fate is pre-decided.

OR

2) Destiny is in our hands. Our choices will lead us to a destiny- which is not specified by anyone. Depending on our choices, our destiny will change.

So is life like a Hindi love story where the end is decided (boy-girl live happily ever after)? But the story line and plot is different for every story (think a Yash Chopra film vs. an Anurag Kashyap one).

Or is life like a blank canvas and every human being can paint it with the colors of his choice? And thus making the end product completely dependent on the taste, skill and imagination of the painter i.e. the human being himself. Meaning there is no pre-decided ending.

I will say it again “We don’t know”. But what did hit me was a mention on MWT in Flash Forward. Where Simcoe tells Olivia (Olivia is the married woman who saw herself sleeping with another man- Simcoe- in her flash forward, who she had never met before that day). He explains to her that all our choices are actually being played out in a parallel universe somewhere. So a part of “me” is living out my other choice in a universe somewhere. But I can never meet my “other me” so I don’t know how her life is and she does not know mine.

At every major fork in the roads of our lives we usually have 2 big choices e.g. you are 21 and graduating from college. You have 2 big choices-pursuing your education further or taking up a job. In this life, here on Earth, you have gone to college. BUT the road forked, and your “other me” went to work. She had different experiences from you. Her life is playing out in a Universe somewhere while you are living your life here on Earth. You both probably think “what if” many times- she thinks “what if I had gone studied further?” And you think “what if I would have gone to work”.

This is just a simple example of two probable decisions at one point of time. But many times the number of decisions is not restricted to two. And after that one decision is made, there are so many other choices that follow e.g. you have decided to study further, but what do you major in? Which country do you study in? How long do you study for? All these roads come with their own forks.

These parallel universes* apparently take place in the same space and time as our own universe, but you still have no way to access them. Every moment of your life, every decision you make, is causing a split of your “now self" into an infinite number of "future selves", all of which are unaware of each other.

* A simple portrayal of MWT was in the 1999 Gwyneth Paltrow starrer ‘Sliding Doors’

I like the MWT Theory. Its existence simply means that no decision of mine is wrong. Because if it is, then the right decision is being played out in the parallel universal. And somewhere my other me is living the life I think is perfect- loving husband who is an architect, 2 kids- Sanil and a baby girl, nice house, decent career, enough money and a walk-in-closet with many many clothes. And while I reciting my fantasies, I would like to add that my other me is a size 3, has long hair with gorgeous curls, a flat tummy and thin waist line, a pretty face and yes a metabolism that allows her to gorge on chocolate cake with no impact on that thin waist line.

But then again...who is to say that my other me got the right end of the stick? She could be the one living out the wrong decision.

The parallel universe need not be the desirable one after all!

So I take solace in the fact that if I have not got something I long for, my other me is enjoying it- right now, in the parallel universe. And any pain that I have to go through is me shielding her from that pain.

So as long as my other me is happy, I will always be happy too ;)

Tamanaa

Suljhi hui zindagi ki tamanaa hai,

uljhe huye sawaalon ke pehrein mein

Shaanti aur sukh ki khoj hai

ek bechain mann ke mele mein

Garam dhoop ki khawish hain

baarishon aur saridiyon ke mahino mein

Sookoon aur santosh ki chah hain

ek bheed se badi mehfil mein

Ghoomte ghoomte, chalte phirte

har roz ki zindagi jeete jeete

Kabhi muskurate, kabhi aasoon bahate

isi tarah, kisi mod pe kahin

Jab ilm na hoga, chah na hogi,

Jab hosh na hoga, talaash na hogi,
Jab aakhen dhoondna band kar lengi,

Tab,

achanak,

us ek lamhe mein,

Sab dikhega saaf,

aur phir na rahegi koi pyaas

Tab tak us pal ka hai intezaar

Lekin pehlein us pal ki tamanaa ko karna hoga faraar

Kyon ki jab dil mein nahin rehti hai woh aaas

Tab hi woh chahat khud chal kar aa jaati hai paas

My Top Ten Love Stories

1) Pride and Prejudice- There is no love story as magical, wonderful and real as Lizzy and Darcy's. Has to be first on the list.

2) Qayamat se Qayamat Tak also known as QSQT- my all time favourite Hindi movie. I know, I know...it’s as cliché as cliché can get. But I can’t help myself. I loved Aamir then, and love him now. And I have lost count on how many times I have seen this movie. QSQT is to me what DDLJ is to other girls.

3) Pretty Woman- classic! Who can create magic better than Richard Gere and Julia Roberts? (I absolutely refuse to believe that he is gay as many gossip sites claim). Its also one of the first movies I saw with friends in Eros during Junior College days. Beautiful memories!

4) Maine Pyar Kiya- sigh! Blame it on my age. I was 15! But it has happy memories so I will not watch it now and ruin them. The movie was also responsible for the catch phrase "Dosti ka ek asool hai madam, no sorry, no thank you".

 

5) Ankhiyon Ke Jharokhon Se- loosely based on Erich Segal’s Love Story. (best romantic book ever by the way- even Sonam Kapoor was reading it in ‘I hate luv storys’). It starred Sachin (so cute!) and Ranjeeta (even cuter!) and it had a sad ending, which only made me like it more. And the title song is the one of most romantic songs ever.

6) Saath-Saath- A Farooq Shaikh-Deepti Naval starrer (one of the best on screen couples till date). It gave us one of Jagjit Singh’s best ghazals “tum ko dekha to yeh khayal aaya”. And it showed what happens to love after marriage. A true portrayal of a love story leading to marriage but with miraculously a happy ending.

7) Sleepless in Seattle- Meg Ryan is the rom-com queen and I can watch this movie multiple times over.

9) Only You- Marisa Tomei’s search of her soul mate since she was a child and a fortune teller at a carnival tells her she is destined to marry “Damon Bradley”. Of course as fate should have it she falls in love with a Peter- played by the devilishly handsome Robert Downey Jr. who just pretends to be Damon. What’s in a name? I will take RDJ even if his name was Bhola Prasad (ok may be I would get him to change his name first)

10) Chandni- Most Indian girls would be seriously offended that I did not count DDLJ, Dil to pagal hai, Kuch Kuch hota hai and other “Raj-Simran” type of movies in my top ten. Sorry! SRK just ruins it all for me. But I am a fan of the older Yash Chopra movies. Could not decide between Lamhe and Chandni and settle for the latter as I kinda like love triangles where the girl has to pick between 2 guys. And Sridevi never looked better!

11) Sailaab (the TV series not the movie)- Though I do feel that Madhuri’s item number in Sailaab the movie in a navari “Hum ko... aaj kal hai... intezaar...koi aaye... leke pyaar” is the best item number in the history of Indian cinema. Ok I digress... (And yes I know this is no. 11 and it says “Top 10” but I didn’t think anyone’s counting, and it’s my post, so live with it). Sailaab is the 2nd best TV show ever made in India (first one is Trishna). Sailaab aired in 1997 on Zee and starred Renuka Shahane (Madhuri’s sister from Hum apke hain kaun who dies), Sachin Khedekar (Tabu’s impotent husband from Astitva), Prajakti Deshmukh (who no one except me probably remembers) and Mahesh Thakur (plays cameos in many movies nowadays and was the dad in Shararat). Sailaab demonstrated a sensitive portrayal of love in an extra marital relationship between Shivani (Renuka) and Rohit (Sachin). But it is the Gaytri-Rohit story angle to watch out for. Very poignant and beautiful. A production by Ravi Rai- wish he would give us some more of this.

That’s my top 11 :)

Will end this post with a quote I came across recently and it stuck with me “Someday, someone, will walk into your life and will make you realize why it never worked out with anyone else”. (This, believe it or not, came up in an office meeting and I nearly had tears)

I love luv storys

Ok, not the most original title, but its topical, no? Though why would you want a movie title with one typo (luv) and one grammatical error (should be ‘stories’ like the plural of story and not ‘storys’), I don’t know. But might as well go with it...


Ok, so I do love ‘luv stroys’. They offer hope, smiles and more stuff to dream about. And am a huge fan of dreams and dreaming. As Mahi (of ‘Mahi Way’ fame) so eloquently put it “Mere dimag mein na har samay ek naya sapna chlata hai- movies ki tarah- woh bhi Technicolor mein”. (My mind is forever seeing dreams like movies or something to that effect).

I am also a Hindi Film movie snob (as my regular readers- all 9 of them- would know, I condone the use of the term Bollywood). I prefer good Hindi cinema, and usually turn up my nose on commercial cinema- but I watch it all the same. Becoz fluff and frills thy name is escapism.

So I naturally went and watched “I hate luv storys”- first day 2nd show! And enjoyed it (more on that later*). But it did make me think about why are love stories so popular? Any film industry all over the world, any soap opera, any TV sitcoms- love stories reign supreme. And even “serious meaningful” movies usually have a love story element. Which I guess is a given, as love is the corner stone of all relationships and finding your soul mate, janam janam ka saathi, companion, partner, love of your life is what everyone desires- whether they admit it or not. So the fact that there is a love angle in most movies, books, soaps, sitcoms, music videos, song albums, etc is nothing to be surprised about.

But the obsession with love stories per se (and the multi-million dollar industry of chick lit and chick flicks- and yes I am a huge contributor to that) does make me ponder sometimes.

Most love stories or rom-coms (romantic comedies for the uninformed) have one of the below story lines:

1) Boy meets girl (or girl meets boys- it’s all about equality), first comes dislike, then friendship, then passion, then love. Remember “Dil- Madhuri-Aamir starrer”?  Or the ever famous “Love Story” (original title that one). The movie which launched Kumar Gaurav.

Side-bar: till date my mom laments on why he could not make it big. Which does beget some thought- as he was one the premier ‘chocolate boys’, had a rich influential dad, well connected in the industry, was talented (remember Naam- brilliant!) and not bad looking. Which does make me believe that luck, fate, destiny have way too much play in our lives. OK- this is much more than any space anyone must have devoted to Kumar Gaurav since he disappeared into oblivion in the early 90’s. So I shall stop.

Bottom line- first “I-can’t-stand-to-see-your-face” dislike to “I-will-give-up-my-life-for-you” love.

What I question: all the things you hated about this person when you first met him, would those qualities not resurface? Or you believe that you can change a person (HA!)

2) Childhood sweethearts: Awww must say this is one of my favourite themes. Remember “Hum Kisise Kum Nahin”? And the sweet “kya hua tera vada” song? Which Tariq (am convinced he was born with a guitar around his neck and has had one in every scene of every movie he ever starred in- all 5 of them) and Kaajal Kiran who used to sing the song to each other as kids and it was the song that bought them together too. So sweet! Other childhood sweetheart love stories are Devdas (Devdas and Paro; though that kinda is more of a tragedy), Parineeta (lovely! Only movie besides Dil Chahta Hai where I liked Saif) and many others that I can’t remember now.

What I question: in today’s fast moving world where you are popular as your last Twitter feed, how can one person continue to be the most important one in your life from childhood till you die? It’s awfully sweet and all that, but won’t you get bored?

3) Bad Boy-Good Girl routine: I can relate to this one most of all. It’s the classic good girl believes she can make the bad boy good. Err “No sweetie (and yes I am taking to myself now), it ain’t gonna happen!” Bad boys don’t turn good just coz they met you and you influenced them. But yes, I like the archetypical ‘bad boy with heart of gold’ and yes, only I can pierce the cold exterior to uncover his nice, caring side. Case in point Kunal Kapoor (he is such a cutie, second place in my heart after Aamir) in Aaje Nachle played the proverbial bad boy transformed because of the good girl Konkana who loved him.

What I question: how do you distinguish between the actual bad boy and the bad boy with the heart of gold? Becoz in 9 cases out of 10, chances are you are with the former

4) Best friends turn lovers: There is something intrinsically beautiful about that fact that the love you were looking for all your life is actually right next to you as your best friend- only you never noticed. My favourite example of that is Barney and Laura from Erich Segal’s epic novel “Doctors”. They grew up as neighbours and best friends, went to med school together, consoled each other through numerous break-ups and f$%$-ups, only to find that they were destined to be together. Ceclie Ahern’s (author of PS I love you book) “Where Rainbows End” is also about 2 best friends Rosie and Alex and the story of how they ultimately get together.

What I question: what if it does not work out? You lose a best friend in the process. That’s sad, no?

5) Rich boy-poor girl; poor boy-rich girl: Needs no explanation. Every Hindi movie ever made in 1970’s and 80’s had this story angle in some way, shape or form. And Hollywood is no stranger to it either. Remember Tom Cruise’s Cocktail? (It even includes the never-gets-old scene of girl’s father trying to buy the boy off). Jeez! Or look at “For love or money” with Michael J Fox or the desi-adaptation “Yes Boss” with SRK and Juhi Chawla. The ‘twist’ here was that both the boy and girl were poor but ambitious and they had to choose between love and money. Any guesses what won? Yes! Love triumphs all! I really liked one dialogue SRK says in Yes Boss “Doh nakamiyamb log ek kamiyab zindagi nahin bana saktein”. (2 unsuccessful people cannot make a successful life). Of course he does go back on his words, and chooses love. But there is a lot of truth in what he said. Bitter truth, but truth all the same.

What I question: Well, there are way too many of them. As this is least believable story line for me. Seriously! An heiress marries a taxi driver  and lives happily ever after?! Really!? (Raja Hindustani with Karisma and Aamir- only Aamir movie I can’t tolerate!)

Ok enough of “Idhar udhar ke baatein, vegera vegera” (my fav line from “I hate luv storys)- let’s get to the point- love stories are:

• Predictable

• Follow a standard pattern

• Are quiet far from reality

• Stretch the truth

• Make false promises

• And worse of all, show us what we are missing in our real lives

So why-oh-why do we still torture ourselves with them?

I think the answer is simple: at heart we all want to believe that magic exists. We sometimes find touches of this magic in our real lives (yes it exists and it happens) but our eyes are blinded with the realities of life- work, kids, school, responsibilities, bills, gym, kitchen, the list goes on, that we miss this magic.

Hence we pay 10$ for a movie ticket and 8$ for the pop corn-coke combo for someone to show us their version of this magic. And for those 2 or 3.5 hours (if its Hum aapke hain kaun), we believe again, we cry for our heart-broken heroine, we laugh with her when she is happy, we look admiringly at our hero and wish we could take him home, we ogle at him shirtless (Imran Khan was looking way too hot without his shirt and gawd! that is way too ‘cougarish’ as he is at least a decade younger than I am, if not more. And any case, I will take his maamu over him any day).

I cannot end without a mention from a Yash Chopra film- as he is the ultimate romance magician after all- "Kahin na Kahin, koi na koi, har ek ke liye bana hai". And it is this belief that keeps us coming back for more...each time..everytime.

* Well, this was supposed to be a review for “I hate luv storys”. But I have spoken too much and about way too many things. So in a nutshell, here goes:

Watch “I hate luv storys” if you love love stories and for

a) Sonam’s winning smile (don’t care what anyone ones, she is tons prettier than Deepika Padukone)

b) Imran’s sense of humor and great bod and just coz he is Aamir’s bhanja and can do no wrong in my eyes (also don’t care what anyone ones, he is tons better than Ranbir Kapoor- though Ranbir is not bad too)

c) The songs- 'Bahara' by Rahat fateh Ali Khan- rules my iPod now

d) The awesome saris Sonam wears in the “Sadka” song. Chiffon sari with a bikini top- start of a trend here!

e) The dig at all Karan Johar movies from “Raj-Simran” at the start, all the way to a beautiful song on the Swiss Alps- oops it’s was New Zealand this time (kudos KJ for being able to laugh at yourself. I like!)

f) The chance to see magic happen once again!

So take your friend, drag your husband, or bring your daughter if she is old enough and smile with Sonam and Imram as they fall in luv.