Showing posts with label universe. Show all posts
Showing posts with label universe. Show all posts

Monday, May 27, 2013

Confessions of a control freak


Hold tight, don't let go.
Keep close, don't let it show.
Steady. Don't crumble. 
Control. Don't fumble.

Keep it together.
Do not falter.
Head held high.
Breath. Do not sigh.

Be fearless. Be brave.
There are some close shaves.
But hold the reins tight.
Never give up without a fight.

Persevere. Tirelessly.
Work. Effortlessly.
Focus. Relentlessly.
Improve. Constantly.

When can I stop?
Can I even get off?
Should I release the hold? 
Will it spiral out of control?

I want to try.
To start with a cry.
Then loosen the grasp.
Without so much as a gasp.

To stand back.
And cut some slack.
To cease pulling. 
To stop controlling.

My grip is loose.
And I wish to choose.
Faith over fear.
Smiles over sneers.

I won't be in the driving seat.
My heart will probably miss a beat.
But I will let go.
And the universe will know.

I am ready. I am willing.
And I won't be as controlling.
I will let the universe decide.
And take it all in my stride.

I will try and let go.
I believe I will gain more. 

Sunday, May 19, 2013

Wish List


'Ask and you shall receive'. That is what I was taught by the nuns in the convent school. It's one lesson I never learnt. I can't ask anyone for anything. I may imply things, and my logic is people who know me well enough should know exactly what I want.
I have recently discovered that this is not a fool-proof plan. In fact its a plan for fools. Which is what I am...most of the times...

So I am trying to change, and ask for things I want, or at least need.

Hence when someone asked me to make a wish list of all things I wanted and guaranteed it would be fulfilled, I thought this was my chance to prove I can practice the 'ask and you shall receive' teaching. 

So here goes nothing...

My wish list in no order of priority:

 1) Knight in shining umbrella- I hate carrying umbrellas. So anytime it rains, I want a knight who will give me shelter under his umbrella. Or offer me a spare one. Either way. Am not fussed.

2) Lady's Maid- because of the Downton Abbey hangover, I too want my own lady's maid. Who will do my hair, dress me up and be at my every beck and call. And I want her to be just like Lady Mary's Anna.

3) Personal Chauffeur- With the cab situation in Singapore, this is a very reasonable ask.  I need a personal chauffeur who will be a phone call away. On weekends, he should pick me up on a motor bike, and during office days in a car. It need not be a Rolls Royce. Am not demanding you see. And if its raining, he needs to get the Knight in shining umbrella along, or double up as one.

4) Back and neck massages- Twice a day for an hour each 

5) Teletransporter to Bombay- whenever I fee like a good bhel puri and/or pau bhaji. Or just when I want see mom and dad. 

6) Movie watching partner- Must be happily willing to watch the movie of my choice without any whining. And stand in line to buy the popcorn. Salted. 

7) Sky diving pusher- Someone who would push I.e. encourage me to sky dive and when the time comes actually push me off the plane too. I really want to sky dive, just don't have the balls to do it.

8) Unicorns jumping over rainbows- Yes I know that does not exist. But want someone who can make me close my eyes and believe that it does. 

9) Twinkle Toes- Once in my life I want to dance gracefully...in high heels...and a flamenco skirt...and twirl a fan. All at the same time.

10) Finally I wish for the power to believe that there is genie who will fulfill all my wishes :)

Wishfully yours

Seema 

Sunday, May 5, 2013

Divine Interventions

Divine interventions

Things happen for a reason they say. The reason may unknown to you or not the one you think is right, but its a reason all the same. I read somewhere 'every coincidence comes with its own plan'. So is there such a thing as a random occurrence? Or is everything simply fated? 

I cannot help but wonder, are our paths defined and destinies sealed, or there a chance of some maneuvering...or at least nudging? 

You change your mind at the last minute and take the bus instead of the usual cab. You may think its coz you have finally decided to not be held hostage to Comfort Cabs booking hotline and the CBD surcharges, but the actual reason may be completely different. You could run into an old friend at the bus stop. And delightful conversation could brighten your morning and set the tone  for the rest of your day. Did it occur to you that the 'accidental' meeting could be part of a grand plan? 

If this grand plan exists, who is the architect? The obvious answer would be God. Or the 'universe'. Basically something bigger than you and me. So does this divine power keep track of the 7 billion lives out there? Even with a team of 7 million adept project managers, it seems an impossible feat. And as we all know, project managers are hardly ever adept. But even God found some good ones (may be they exist in the parallel universe), for them to keep track of  every second of every individual's life, appears rather impossible.

So my theory is this. There is a higher power- I call him God- you can call him (or may its a her) anything you like. He develops the grand plan which has a distinct final destination. It's inbuilt in our heads like a chip installed at birth. We go through life subconsciously following it. The destination is fixed. The paths to reach there are multiple. 

There is a straight path. But then only the boring people ever take them. There are crossroads where we have to make the tough choices. There are uphill roads where the climb is tough, but the view from the top is something else. There are obstacle courses, where we emerge stronger on the other side. Then there are scenic routes, which usually take longer, but are filled with surprises at every turn.  Or the downhill slopes where you may lose control. There are the shortcuts which could be efficient use of time, or the shortcuts where you have to make compromises that you will have to live with. 

There are times you will get lost. There are times you will walk on the right path, only to lose your way down the line. And sometimes when you think it's the wrong route, but turns out to be the only one you should have ever considered. 

While we walk these meandering paths, our destination is fixed though we are oblivious about it. So how can we be assured that we shall reach there? That's when we experience a 'divine intervention'. Someone, somewhere, sometime crosses our path and gently points us in the right direction. This person could be a complete stranger or someone you've known all your life. At times the intervention comes in form of a rude jolt like a break-up, a job loss or a tragedy. These interventions are meant to lead us to our ultimate destination. 

I once heard a spiritual leader say these words and they have stuck ever since. 'You think you know everything. You don't know where you came from. You don't know where you are going. You don't know how long you will be here. You know nothing'.

So in this event all we can do is trust the higher power. Surrender to him. And let him guide us along. It does not mean we stop thinking for ourselves. We just trust a little bit more. 

When things don't go our way, 

Instead of  questioning, we believe
Instead of 'why me?', we think 'why not?'
Instead of lamenting a loss, we see what we have gained
Instead of holding on, we let go
Instead of commanding, we concede
Instead of crying, we pray

Lets keep our eyes open for these divine interventions. They come in various shapes and sizes. And sometimes in disguise. An unplanned trip. A stranger becoming a friend. A new career. A different phase. An undiscovered city. A second chance. Or perhaps a totally new opportunity. Don't let them scare you or annoy you. Embrace them and you may reach just where you want to. And in this process, don't forget to ask for help. People who care for you are usually better suited to spot these divine interventions. 

So ask and you shall receive. And stop seeking and you will find.

Am off for brunch and shopping and to see what divine interventions come my way today.