Friday, April 17, 2009

My centre not Me in the centre

A friend of mine, let’s call him Mr. Profound, advised me to find my centre within myself. Not to get influenced by people around me- friends and foes alike. To meditate and connect with my inner self. To reflect.

I am torn. I know what is right and what I should do. I know my strengths and am more than aware of my weaknesses. I know where I need to go in life and I am confident about my priorities. Anyone who knows me, will tell you what a straight-forward and sensible person I am.

But there is another me- the not-so-sensible me, the rather impulsive me, the self-pitying me, the shy and closed me.

How do I find my centre if I can’t reconcile these two distinct parts of myself? Where does one end and other begin? When does one surface and the other hides?

I can’t find answers to all these questions so quickly. I still need to reflect...a lot....But what I do know is that once I cease to think of myself in the centre of it all, I will be closer to finding my centre.

The core of my existence towards others is compassion. I need to now start being compassionate to myself. To treat myself kindly. This is different from indulging myself (which I do way too often!). Instead, to take care of my mind, just the way I take care of my body (eating healthy and exercising) and my soul (good karma and prayers).

Another friend of mine, Ms. Chocolate, explained the concept of “mirroring” to me. Others mirror our own feelings towards ourselves. If I look after myself, others will look after me. If I radiate positivity towards myself, others will mirror it back to me.

So starting today I will aim to find my centre- that spark in me which I thought was dead, but is flickering slightly, awaiting the fuel of compassion so it can shine bright again and show me the way forward.

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