This was a message painted on an ugly board in yellow letters outside the elevator of my Bombay building at least thrice a week when I was growing up.
People sighed when they saw it and proceeded to scream at the ‘liftman’ (person employed to press the elevator buttons, be yelled at on such occasions and run errands for Kapoor aunty on the 5th floor).
Alternatively they climbed up the stairs.
I used to always imagine the elevator smirking at all of us huffing and puffing up the stairs and thinking “Now you know how it feels riding up and down all the time”.
Wish I could get my hands on that ugly painted board in yellow letters and add the word “mind” before “out of order” and then strategically place the board next to my desk. MIND OUT OF ORDER.
Having the message acts as a deterrent for anyone coming to me with inane requests and expecting sensible replies. My mind is out of order, remember?
So when you see me ploughing through 500+ emails and ask me at 10.50 am “Did you see my latest email asking you to attend the 11 am meeting”, I can say “Of course I did sweetie. And I chose to ignore it”.
Or when it’s known that I am handling 10 over projects at a single time, when am asked “Can you take this new brief on”? I can say “Oh yes! Just give it to my clone who sits on my right. I am the prettier one by the way”.
And my favorite, “The timeline is very tight”, and I can say with a very innocent smile “Tighter than that blouse you wearing?”
I know, I know, am being bitchy. But it’s so much fun than being nicey-nice all the time.
There is a land out there….where I can speak my mind, tell idiots off and stomp my feet and spin around when annoyed. As Tina Fey would say “I want to go to there!”
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Welcome Myrah
Dearest Myrah,
Welcome to the world! You will bring lots of happiness, love and laughter to all our lives- I just know it. You will be the turning point, the point where joys find their way back to all of us.
You will smile like an angel and melt out worries and your laughter will be finer than the sound of the ocean waves.
Sitting here, sipping my latte and savoring my scones, I wonder whether I will be getting you here anytime soon? Would you be a coffee addict like me? Or love desserts and sweets as much as your dad and I do? Would you have your mom's easy going temperament? Or my independent streak? Would you be kind hearted and patient like your Nani? Or a friendly gregarious soul like your dadi?
Would Sanil and you grow up to be best friends? Would he be an over-protective big brother? (I would lay my bets on that).Would you both enjoy the same movies, love the same books? Would you be a big Hindi movie buff like me? Or an art-lover like your mom? Or perhaps, a bit of both?
I don't know...and frankly I don't care.
All I know is that you will bring lots of happiness, love and laughter to all our lives. You will love me and I will love you back a hundred times over. I can't wait to hold you in my arms, to watch you take your first step, to buy you loads of birthday presents and to be your friend always.
Can't imagine feeling so much love for someone I have never met. But I do.
Love you always
Seema Bua
(written on 28 June 2009 at 3.15 pm SGT at P.S. Cafe, Singapore)
Welcome to the world! You will bring lots of happiness, love and laughter to all our lives- I just know it. You will be the turning point, the point where joys find their way back to all of us.
You will smile like an angel and melt out worries and your laughter will be finer than the sound of the ocean waves.
Sitting here, sipping my latte and savoring my scones, I wonder whether I will be getting you here anytime soon? Would you be a coffee addict like me? Or love desserts and sweets as much as your dad and I do? Would you have your mom's easy going temperament? Or my independent streak? Would you be kind hearted and patient like your Nani? Or a friendly gregarious soul like your dadi?
Would Sanil and you grow up to be best friends? Would he be an over-protective big brother? (I would lay my bets on that).Would you both enjoy the same movies, love the same books? Would you be a big Hindi movie buff like me? Or an art-lover like your mom? Or perhaps, a bit of both?
I don't know...and frankly I don't care.
All I know is that you will bring lots of happiness, love and laughter to all our lives. You will love me and I will love you back a hundred times over. I can't wait to hold you in my arms, to watch you take your first step, to buy you loads of birthday presents and to be your friend always.
Can't imagine feeling so much love for someone I have never met. But I do.
Love you always
Seema Bua
(written on 28 June 2009 at 3.15 pm SGT at P.S. Cafe, Singapore)
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Rings or Blings
Not having grown up with the concept of wedding rings for men, I fail to notice the obvious i.e. is someone wearing a ring on their left hand ring finger or not? Simple enough, but I simply forget.
Having learnt my lesson the harsh way, now I have made it a practice to observe. And what I have seen is that its either Rings or Blings. Rings say "happily married (well married at least)" and blings say "happily gay".
Blings have potential to become fashion advisors, shopping companions, secret confidantes and great friends (speaking from personal experience). Rings on the other hand, ring alarm bells ansd warning signs "keep safe distance".
This is all for the newcomers in life of course.
For the old ones, they have been beautifully catergorized and fit perfectly in various aspects of my life.
Hope to find categories besides Rings and Blings for the newcomers.
Till then, a toast to old friends- without whom I would never reach where I have today. Love you all! :)
Having learnt my lesson the harsh way, now I have made it a practice to observe. And what I have seen is that its either Rings or Blings. Rings say "happily married (well married at least)" and blings say "happily gay".
Blings have potential to become fashion advisors, shopping companions, secret confidantes and great friends (speaking from personal experience). Rings on the other hand, ring alarm bells ansd warning signs "keep safe distance".
This is all for the newcomers in life of course.
For the old ones, they have been beautifully catergorized and fit perfectly in various aspects of my life.
Hope to find categories besides Rings and Blings for the newcomers.
Till then, a toast to old friends- without whom I would never reach where I have today. Love you all! :)
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Keep Walking
My game, My rules, My terms.
If you can’t play within that, then don’t play at all. Walk away.
No actually, you know what, I will walk away. Because its not cowardice but intelligence to walk away from a situation that can only be described as #$%$^#@ volatile and way-too-intense!
Starting now, I walk. I just hope I remember to keep walking without looking back.
Because I know, if I look back even once, I will forget the rules I set. It would help walking towards something though…
If you can’t play within that, then don’t play at all. Walk away.
No actually, you know what, I will walk away. Because its not cowardice but intelligence to walk away from a situation that can only be described as #$%$^#@ volatile and way-too-intense!
Starting now, I walk. I just hope I remember to keep walking without looking back.
Because I know, if I look back even once, I will forget the rules I set. It would help walking towards something though…
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
In-Out-In Again-Out Again-In Again
What gives people the right to drop in and out of our lives as they deem fit is completely beyond me? And why I let them do so is something that will take years of therapy to dwell into.
People should make a declaration before entering your life:
1) “I will be with you forever and ever whether you like it or not”
2) “I am here for you now and will be around as long as you need/want me”
3) “I will be with you for ‘enter definite period of time’. After that I am gone”
4) “I am here for this minute. The next minute I have no clue”
5) “I don’t exist in your life”
And they should not be allowed to move categories without getting prior written permission. In that way the control is in my hand.
On the other hand, I can just refuse people entry in my life and heart. Play the game on my terms. If only I had learnt that!
But isn’t it said that it’s too late to teach an old dog, new tricks?
People should make a declaration before entering your life:
1) “I will be with you forever and ever whether you like it or not”
2) “I am here for you now and will be around as long as you need/want me”
3) “I will be with you for ‘enter definite period of time’. After that I am gone”
4) “I am here for this minute. The next minute I have no clue”
5) “I don’t exist in your life”
And they should not be allowed to move categories without getting prior written permission. In that way the control is in my hand.
On the other hand, I can just refuse people entry in my life and heart. Play the game on my terms. If only I had learnt that!
But isn’t it said that it’s too late to teach an old dog, new tricks?
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Bus-Fuss
Finally! I have broken from the shackles of taxi rides to work! I take the Shuttle Bus and it’s fabulous.
Shuttle Bus trumps over taxis because:
a) Evil people can’t steal it (like the B%^%& who stays in my condo and stole mycab last week)
b) You don’t have to listen to the driver’s choice of radio station, even after you have told him to switch the radio off…politely…
c) You don’t pay ERP J
d) You can overhear interesting conversations, and it’s not considered eavesdropping ;)
e) There is a possibility of catching the eye of a cute fellow passenger (but sadly they all wear ties and work in CBD which potentially means they work in a bank/financial institution, which definitely means they are, well, I will be polite and say ‘not my style’)
Sitting on a window seat of a bus is a very calming experience. As you see the world pass by, your thoughts fly from the mundane (to-do lists) to the exotic (what if I could just sail away in that boat I see). And it takes me back to school days when I took the 255 from Santa Cruz to Juhu.
A bus ride allows you to catch a snooze, read a chapter of your book or just reflect before the events of the day come flying at you.
And on the way back, its 96.3 FM hindi songs all way long. Cannot be a sweeter end to the day.
Shuttle Bus trumps over taxis because:
a) Evil people can’t steal it (like the B%^%& who stays in my condo and stole mycab last week)
b) You don’t have to listen to the driver’s choice of radio station, even after you have told him to switch the radio off…politely…
c) You don’t pay ERP J
d) You can overhear interesting conversations, and it’s not considered eavesdropping ;)
e) There is a possibility of catching the eye of a cute fellow passenger (but sadly they all wear ties and work in CBD which potentially means they work in a bank/financial institution, which definitely means they are, well, I will be polite and say ‘not my style’)
Sitting on a window seat of a bus is a very calming experience. As you see the world pass by, your thoughts fly from the mundane (to-do lists) to the exotic (what if I could just sail away in that boat I see). And it takes me back to school days when I took the 255 from Santa Cruz to Juhu.
A bus ride allows you to catch a snooze, read a chapter of your book or just reflect before the events of the day come flying at you.
And on the way back, its 96.3 FM hindi songs all way long. Cannot be a sweeter end to the day.
Friday, April 17, 2009
My centre not Me in the centre
A friend of mine, let’s call him Mr. Profound, advised me to find my centre within myself. Not to get influenced by people around me- friends and foes alike. To meditate and connect with my inner self. To reflect.
I am torn. I know what is right and what I should do. I know my strengths and am more than aware of my weaknesses. I know where I need to go in life and I am confident about my priorities. Anyone who knows me, will tell you what a straight-forward and sensible person I am.
But there is another me- the not-so-sensible me, the rather impulsive me, the self-pitying me, the shy and closed me.
How do I find my centre if I can’t reconcile these two distinct parts of myself? Where does one end and other begin? When does one surface and the other hides?
I can’t find answers to all these questions so quickly. I still need to reflect...a lot....But what I do know is that once I cease to think of myself in the centre of it all, I will be closer to finding my centre.
The core of my existence towards others is compassion. I need to now start being compassionate to myself. To treat myself kindly. This is different from indulging myself (which I do way too often!). Instead, to take care of my mind, just the way I take care of my body (eating healthy and exercising) and my soul (good karma and prayers).
Another friend of mine, Ms. Chocolate, explained the concept of “mirroring” to me. Others mirror our own feelings towards ourselves. If I look after myself, others will look after me. If I radiate positivity towards myself, others will mirror it back to me.
So starting today I will aim to find my centre- that spark in me which I thought was dead, but is flickering slightly, awaiting the fuel of compassion so it can shine bright again and show me the way forward.
I am torn. I know what is right and what I should do. I know my strengths and am more than aware of my weaknesses. I know where I need to go in life and I am confident about my priorities. Anyone who knows me, will tell you what a straight-forward and sensible person I am.
But there is another me- the not-so-sensible me, the rather impulsive me, the self-pitying me, the shy and closed me.
How do I find my centre if I can’t reconcile these two distinct parts of myself? Where does one end and other begin? When does one surface and the other hides?
I can’t find answers to all these questions so quickly. I still need to reflect...a lot....But what I do know is that once I cease to think of myself in the centre of it all, I will be closer to finding my centre.
The core of my existence towards others is compassion. I need to now start being compassionate to myself. To treat myself kindly. This is different from indulging myself (which I do way too often!). Instead, to take care of my mind, just the way I take care of my body (eating healthy and exercising) and my soul (good karma and prayers).
Another friend of mine, Ms. Chocolate, explained the concept of “mirroring” to me. Others mirror our own feelings towards ourselves. If I look after myself, others will look after me. If I radiate positivity towards myself, others will mirror it back to me.
So starting today I will aim to find my centre- that spark in me which I thought was dead, but is flickering slightly, awaiting the fuel of compassion so it can shine bright again and show me the way forward.
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